


My Devil Academia 3 (A Tell Tale Heart of Rage ) Part 1

by Cici3



Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Angst and Drama, Conspiracy, Jealousy, M/M, Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-12 17:20:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 77,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29388312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cici3/pseuds/Cici3
Summary: This is Kiome's third year at RAD and all seems to be well, his sister is married, he's doing better mentally and his relationship is in a very good place. That is until Jealousy rears its ugly head due to some band groupies. Every relationship has ups and downs but then there is demon level jealousy. Mixed with the fiery wrath he is all but consumed by, Satan is unafraid to make his fears known which sets off a domino effect of events no one saw coming leaving fear, rage, confusion, and love in the wake of it all. The two have been through hell and back to get together, can they stand a second round to keep it there?
Relationships: Satan (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Original Male Character(s)
Kudos: 1





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Once again thank you for Reading! I loved this ship so much I had to give them another go, but do not worry, Luci and Tea will have another soon enough ;)

Chapter 1

K

“Levi do you have the playlist ready?”

“Of course I do, I am not a noob at this, I have it all set up!”

“You don’t have to get snippy because my baby sister put you guys in that getup.” It took everything not to laugh as Levi, Beel, Mammon and Asmo wore blood red jumpsuits with long overskirts, from the back they looked like elegant ladies and from the front they looked hilarious.

“You let her do it, I look like a weirdo, everyone already sees a gross otaku when they look at me…”

“Well now you are a pretty otaku!” They had even had their hair and makeup done up and wore high heels I couldn’t help but laugh as I patted his shoulder.

“That ain’t funny, ya know how hard it is to do a dance routine in heels!”

“This had been murder on us…Laika is vicious when our steps are off!”

“Thankfully we were flawless in our dance and in mere hours I can go back to my room!

“Asmo hasn’t allowed me to eat more than one portion of food for three weeks, I thought I was going to die…” Beel was shoving rolls in his mouth like there was no tomorrow, I could see why Asmo would put him on a diet, those outfits looked tight too.

“You guys will be fine, just get through these next few hours and all will be okay, the actual wedding is done so all you have to worry about now is getting through the reception.” Yes the second wedding went off without a hitch just like the one at home; I couldn’t help but feel proud of myself for orchestrating such a flashy and posh wedding in our own backyard, a real black tie event. But now what we were in Devildom, this was my element, I went with steam punk gothic and it was an aesthetic everyone appreciated. We were all parading in our demon forms and having a blast and I watched on in the center as my older sister danced with her husband. They looked really nice together, my sister wore a Victorian style dress in deep red with black trim and Lucifer wore a suit in opposite, they looked good, they looked…happy. The first wedding she cried her eyes out so much that Asmo threatened to tattoo her makeup on. Tonight she still held her glow as they twirled to the music together, and I felt a smile form on my face. They were in love and after three years I knew they would be just fine, it was possible that they could have the same love and devotion that our parents did, they suffered through the odds and made it together. As much pain as our circumstances brought to us, one thing remained that through it all we could rely on love. Maybe I was just a hopeless romantic to think that, but seeing my parents hug my sister and their new son in law I couldn’t help but think that I was right.

“Oh Kiki, you’ve done it again, another beautiful and original reception! And you look simply scrumptious!” A year ago I would have cringed at the thought of Mr. Grabby Hands putting his arms on me but soon I grew used to Asmo’s hugs, after all I would be getting them whether I was used to them or not.

“Down Asmo.” He quickly backed up, putting his hands in the air with a smile and a wink.

“I am behaving see? You try to come off as so aloof but you have an eye for art and design! Even the flowers give off a brilliant air to the ballroom, I have over a hundred selfies and I cannot choose which to post because the place is so gorgeous!” And there, off in the distance was the demon I had fallen in love with. He looked amazing in his green tapestry vest and black shirt, he had brushed his golden hair back and even wore gloves for an added touch. He was breathtaking; I wasn’t even listening to Asmo at this point.

“Well what can I say, I know a beautiful thing when I see it.”

“Oh, there is Jezebel, I must go and say hello! We will talk later!”

“Sure Asmo, and great job with the routine!” He waved as he sashayed away and just as I turned to meet with Satan I was bombarded by my personal groupies. These girls seem to follow me most places I go, but it doesn’t go too far from school and many public outings. Each one of the band members had what they call stans but these six were the best ones I could ask for. Most people feel weird about having a fan club but these ladies are actually pretty great.

“Kio I hear you designed the ballroom!” Rea took my hand in hers, her red hair bouncing over her shoulders as she smiled.

“You have such good taste, the kind you can expect from the extraordinary Kio Minamino!” Julie took my other hand as she tossed her blue pony tail.

“How are you so talented and have such an eye for scenery and flow?” Simi hugged me around my waist as the twins Yana and Yuki patted me from behind.

“Not to mention he’s simply gorgeous, why it isn’t possible that he could be single, as talented and sweet as he is.” Ari tucked her blonde hair behind her ear as she batted her eyes, she always laid her words on sweet and thick.

“Oh come on now guys, you’re making me blush!”

“Aww you would let us see such a face, please let us see!” They clung to me as they spoke and I could feel the joy and excitement they felt by being near me and I had to admit it felt as nice as it always does. Barbatos had said that I shouldn’t rely on others’ feelings of me to measure my worth but even still I enjoyed the attention, it made me feel…wanted. Ari ran a finger along my check as her cyan eyes batted their long lashes.

“So are you going to be the next one to get engaged, you wouldn’t break all of our hearts like that would you?”

“He has to be seeing someone first to get married Ari.” Simi swatted her hand away, it wasn’t the first time she broke the third rule of touching my face.

“I was only asking, for all we know he already has someone he has his eye on. You know the rumors are swirling and as the Kiostans, we have to protect him from the forked wagging tongues of those wenches who hate on him. We have to protect his image and his interest; that is rule six.”

“Of course, but you know rule eight; if he doesn’t want to tell us he doesn’t have to, his secrets are his to keep.”

“Assuming he is in love with someone.”

“Of course, it’s been on his face for months!”

“If that isn’t the case then do I have a chance for a date Kio?”

“No Julie, you can’t just take him over!”

“Butt out Yuki!”

“Ladies, ladies please, you are all very beautiful and I would be a very lucky guy to have any one of you on my arm. But I simply cannot, I’m sorry.” they sighed sadly but continued to touch my back and arms. I was coming up on my third year at RAD and it seemed I was just as popular as the brothers, of course being in a rock band had those perks as well but I was never noticed like this at my human school, I was either jeered at for being a nerd or ignored for not being important, Yori was the only one who liked me for who I was, but I had to kick his ass for that to happen. These girls and this place made me feel like a real rock star.

“Aw but Kio, after the concert last week you have been so adorable, like something else changed in you. How can we not want you?”

“Yeah, you’re practically glowing.”

“Don’t tell me, you already have someone?”

“Who is it, is it someone from school?”

“There have been rumors across the fandom that you and Satan have been on escapades.”

“The vocalist and the guitarist, oh how scandalous!”

“And Satan is absolutely gorgeous too.”

“You have to tell us if it’s true Kio please?”

“Please Kio?” After that concert Sae had told me something very special that sent my heart soaring, since then I haven’t been able to stop smiling. A few others outside of the family know and of course the rumors spread over the past year but we didn’t offer information because I was still wary of others opinions.

“Well…I can agree that Satan is really gorgeous. And he is also…a really good kisser.” But today I was in too good of a mood to let any insecurities get me down.

“OH MY GOSH!!”

“I knew it!!”

“I totally ship it!”

“That’s so cute!” They squealed and clung to me more and I couldn’t help but laugh at them. My personal groupie squad was something else.

“I didn’t expect you guys to take it like this.”

“True Kiostans will never back away from his happiness!”

“This means we will have to unite with the Sastans though.”

“Two hot guys in love, I can get behind that!”

“We are so happy for you!”

“Well that’s an exclusive for you ladies, you must keep it under your hat though, I want the announcement to be big.” They pretended to zip their lips shut and I smiled, this day was going great.

S

“I can’t believe it, he’s been talking to them for like a half hour now.” I watched him as he laughed and chatted with those girls, they called themselves ‘Kiostans’ our super fans that seemed to pick him as their favorite. They spoke to him every day at class and posted about him on Devilgram. They even wore jackets with their little club name on them and flaunted about like they were his personal guard, I had expected him to do away with them months ago but instead he took them on as though they were his friends. It made me so mad!

“Why the scowl brother, you know those will give you wrinkles.”

“Look at him over there flirting with those girls, it’s the same thing every day but this time he hasn’t even taken the time to come over to see me!” I sounded pitiful just then, it only made my mood worse.

“He is making sure all the guests are comfortable, and so he has a few fans, it’s only six girls, I have thousands that flock to me at every turn.”

“It isn’t just those six, they just happen to be the most devoted to him…” They actually warded off other girls from getting too close, they acted like they protected him, when they really just wanted him for themselves. They were obsessed fans and he refused to see them as that.

“You have your ‘stans’ as well don’t you?”

“Yeah but…I don’t flirt back with them like that, I keep boundaries. They cling to him like a life raft and he allows it!” They all began to squeal and hug on him as he laughed and I felt my blood boil.

“Satan! Hi, your brother looks amazing! You must be so happy for him!” I bit my tongue and put on a smile for the guests as they looked at me expectantly.

“Yes I am thrilled that he is happy, he’s quite lucky to have such a beautiful bride.”

“Ah, so when will it be your turn, an eligible demon like you is sure to have a few dates lined up.” I noticed a couple of the female guests bat their eyes and I sighed.

“I actually am involved with someone currently.”

“Oh really, then do we hear wedding bells in the coming future?” And it was then I thought of the concert just a week prior, we did well and the fans cheered but all I could look at was the smile on his face, the way he shimmered; he was so beautiful. When it was all over I pulled him to the side in private so I could touch his face.

_“You were so amazing out there Sae, the way you hit that note in the bridge gave me chills!” He reddened under my touch and I had to taste his mouth, hearing the cheering in the background was nothing compared to what I was feeling._

_“Not as amazing as you were. Kio, do you think…you could spend the rest of your life with me?” He took a step back and looked at me with wide eyes._

_“What are you saying right now?”_

_“I’m just saying…that I feel like…I could.”_ Ever since then he’s been smiling and sparkling, but why am I so upset right now?

“Anything is possible.” The guests laughed and patted me before walking away and I felt hands on my waist and a soft breath by my ear.

“Excuse me, I don’t mean to bother you, but you happen to be the most stunning demon at this party and I had to let you know.” I laughed at him as he kissed my cheek and I turned to look in his eyes.

“You are incredibly cheesy do you know that?”

“What, I thought I would bring you the hor d’oeuvres on a silver tongue is all.”

“You are such a smartass, did your fan base finally give you permission to see me?”

“Aw, don’t down the girls like that, they just came to talk is all.”

“That is the thing Kio, they always come to talk; in the halls, at lunch and every concert. If I didn’t put my foot down they would come to the house every day!”

“Why are you making them out to be pests, they are good for our image and they care about the band.”

“No they care about you and they are good for your image, there is a difference.”

“I didn’t complain when your group comes to chat in the halls with you.”

“I don’t allow them to cling to me like that, my fans don’t smother me and hit on me and I certainly don’t flirt with them!”

“You think I was flirting with them, I set my boundaries clear Sae they even have their own rules in place!”

“Yes I heard them a million times, ‘never touch above the chest or below the waist, no member is to be alone with him, he is to approve all posts before submitted’ they revolve their lives around you and it’s borderline obsessive!” He stepped back and I took a breath and I saw it all over his face before he even said the words.

“Are you jealous?”

“Why would I possibly be jealous of them?!”

“That is what I’m asking you, I chose you remember, not any of them.”

“They weren’t a thought when you chose me…”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Damn it, there it was, jealous over some girls that fawned over him. I hated it when he would smile like that for someone else…I wanted to be the only one to make him happy. Thinking about it, it seems foolish but dammit…

“It’s nothing, I don’t want to fight with you baby, please.” He deflated quickly and touched my cheek with a soft smile.

“Then dance with me and forget all of this, leave it behind, you know how sexy you are when you smile.” He whispered in my ear so softly and I felt my cheeks burn, he can be so smooth that my very heart slips on his words. He took my hand and lead me to the dance floor as the music picked up the tempo and for a moment I was lost in the music with him, but from the corner of my eye I saw them there watching us with smiles and it angered me, it’s like I had to share him with them.

“Babe…Sae, what’s wrong?” He must have seen the look on my face but I didn’t want to sour his mood, this was supposed to be a good day for the family, so I put on a smile.

“I’m not very good at this, dancing like this.”

“Since when was that ever a big deal, I love the way you move.” Suddenly Jetèa had him by the arm and whispered in his ear.

“Okay…sorry Blondie, I have to go for a bit, will you be alright?”

“Sure go, I’ll be fine here.” He left with his sister and I stood there on the dance floor alone, once again I was shafted.

K

“So what is it, you got tired of dancing with him already, you need a pro to show you how to have a good time?” She laughed as she pulled my arm close and looked over the ballroom at the entire scenery.

“You have done amazing, you said you wanted to handle it all and you did so perfectly. I didn’t have to worry about anything with you in charge and because of that I wanted to thank you truly. You are such a wonderful little brother.” I didn’t expect her praise and I flushed from embarrassment, she can be so sappy!

“Yeah…well it’s whatever, I made you a promise and I keep my word.”

“It’s also why I was wondering if you didn’t mind if Luci and I take another trip.”

“You’re going on a second honeymoon? At this rate I’ll have to plan your baby shower too.”

“Shut up, Lucifer has to go to the human world for Diavolo and he wants to bring me along, we thought since we had to be there, we may as well make a trip of it.”

“I see, and where are you off to?”

“London, we will be leaving in two days.”

“And you want me in charge?”

“We agree that you and Satan will keep the others in line, even if that is only so we leave more often.”

“Honest, but fair.”

“Will you guys be okay with that?”

“But why didn’t you tell us together?”

“So I can’t dance with my little brother, is that it?”

“Well I mean, there are already rumors going around that you never got over your cooties so…”

“Like you took your shots!”

“Every day, I swear on our climbing tree.” I twirled her around as she laughed. It took so long for us to finally get closer as siblings, after forgiving her for her abuse when we were young I felt like a weight was lifted from my shoulders and at every turn she did her best to show me that she wasn’t taking it for granted.

“We will be gone for two weeks, so I hope you guys can stay on top of classes.”

“Aw, that means you’ll miss the anniversary concert, does that mean we can host it at the house?”

“Are you serious?!”

“Pwease nee-chan?”

“I’ll pretend I never heard you ask that.”

“And I’ll take that as a yes!” I spun her again and she curtsied before giving me a chiding look.

“You had better behave otòto, I don’t feel like being grounded to our parents’ house next summer, we had to come home with straight A’s and no missing days last year in order for them to trust us again.” Don’t remind me, the monthly letters Barbatos had to send to my parents to ensure I was handling my depression, ptsd and other traumas was enough to make me want to crawl in a hole and die, I never wanted them to know about my issues, but since my attempted suicide they require I keep them informed in order to stay here.

“I will be on my best behavior I promise.” She smiled at me just as our mother approached the two of us smiling ear to ear.

“You don’t know how happy it makes me to see you two like this.” I held out my hand and my mother took it with a slight bow and I spun her into an upbeat dance.

“You have done beautifully with the preparations again Kio, I am so proud of you for supporting your sister.”

“That is what family does Mother, we stick together.” I remember the night I told her about Satan, I felt like my whole world had fallen apart and she only loved me anyway. She never cared that I was bi, she was only hinting her suspicion because she wanted me to know I had her support, it was because of her that I had the courage to come out to the rest of the family. Family sticks together, she taught me that better than anyone.

“Of course, but that also means that you have to take care of yourself as well honey. You’ve finally regained your weight and your eyes look so much brighter, you’ve changed for the better in the past year. Have you eaten today?”

“Yes mother, I am doing well, I am eating and I am coping with panic attacks healthily and I haven’t self-harmed in over a year.”

“That’s my flower, my sweet boy, but it isn’t just those things I worry about.” Uh-oh, here she goes trying to shrink me again.

“What is it now Mother?”

“I know you have been busy with your band and school and this wedding, but I don’t want you to stretch yourself too think honey, I feel like you are taking on more than you need to and you are overworking yourself again.”

“Mother, I’m fine really, I’m having a wonderful day! You see the smile, come on, don’t do that.”

“And those girls?”

“Not you too, they don’t mean any harm; they are only fans, and they are very nice.”

“It’s not whether they are nice or not Kiomè, it’s the fact that you let them fall all over you like they do. I know you, they enjoy your company and you’re feeding off their happiness but you can only take that so far before it hurts you.”

“I already have one therapist, please do not nag me!” She gripped my hand tight and I realized my mistake.

“You had better watch your tone Maku…”

“I apologize…look it isn’t like I’m leading any of them on, they even know about Sae and me so it’s not a problem.”

“And how is that going?” I thought about the small argument we had just a while ago and I just couldn’t shake the look on his face.

“We are okay, we are doing great, he actually said that he wants to spend his life with me.”

“Really?!”

“No Mother it wasn’t a proposal, calm down! We are just in a good place right now and I really feel good about it.”

“That’s really good, I’m so happy you are doing well and I got your progress report and your grades are amazing as always.”

“You were never a stickler for my grades before.”

“I just have to make sure Lucifer didn’t lock you in the attic for trying to kill your sister again. You miss a single day and Diavolo is to call me.”

“Ouch…too soon Mama…” She smiled and I thought about that year that felt like literal Armageddon, if I told myself that I would make it out of that I would have laughed and called myself crazy. Today I feel on top of the world.

“Nonetheless, I want you to keep seeing Barbatos, he knows what he’s doing, and I like the way he is helping you redecorate your subconscious.”

“Sounds better than it is, I have to dig up a lot of shit I don’t want to even think about, claim it and change it into something else, it’s hell.” Would she believe me if I told her that I was in that cage three times since that night of the battle, I don’t think she would believe the first one.

“Well it’s for your own good, I’m so proud of you, I want you to take care of yourself.”

“Shouldn’t you say all this to Tèa?”

“Believe me, she is sick of me now ha, my children are starting lives of their own…I just can’t believe it.” I held her close and I felt tears prick my eyes, she loved us with all her heart, things could have been better but we came out strong; I wanted that more than anything, and I believe wholeheartedly that I could get that with Sae.

S

I undressed in my room, the words and emotions from the party still swimming through my head. Why was I feeling so jealous, why does the very thought of him with those girls make my blood boil? No…not all of them…there was one or two of them that made him shimmer in a way I couldn’t stand. I remember when he did that for me for the first time, when I saw that priceless soul of his work its magic, I took it and polished it, I stayed by his side to protect him so he could grow into his own. The very thought of someone else making him so happy so easily…

“There you are, I was looking for you, I thought we were going to be in my room tonight.”

“You actually want to be around me?” I sounded so hurt and it was embarrassing, he took my hand in his and rubbed it against his cheek as he looked in my eyes so intensely my heart skipped.

“Oh Blondie, don’t be like that, the whole place was chaotic and yes I talked to the girls longer than I should have and I should have stayed with you I’m sorry. But don’t ever think I would just blow you off, I would never. Someone might find you and claim you, I could never forgive myself for that.”

“Yeah…”

“Lucifer and Tèa leave in a couple days, you want to make plans on wrecking his record collection? Maybe we can apply itching powder to his sheets, fill his shoes with scorpions-“

“I’m not in the mood to deal with Lucifer…I’m really tired.” I sat on my bed unwilling to look at him, what was this feeling, why did I feel so…afraid?

“Now I know something is wrong, talk to me Angrybird, what is on that beautiful mind of yours?” He knelt in front of me, looking at me with hazel puppy dog eyes and it only made this feeling worse.

“Do…you ever think about…doing things differently?”

“What do you mean?”

“Do you ever regret being with me, are there moments you see your sister and my brother together and think of what it would be like…to have a girlfriend instead?”

“Seriously? I mean if it’s a question about equipment I think we established that I don’t care either way.”

“But that is what I mean, do you feel like you’re missing out because of me? What about the future, what if you want a family and …children. Unless we adopt I can’t provide that to you, what if you resent me?”

“Sae…that is…insane! You think when I went up on stage and told my whole family that I was in love with another guy that I was thinking…’damn…what if I crave tits once in a while?’ Hell no! Yes I like girls too as do you and yes… I admit I check them out, I’m a guy, but I sure as hell don’t think that I’m missing out on anything because I’m with you! I chose you Sae, you are who I want.” I should have been comforted by that…but the only thing I heard was:

“You check out girls…”

“I…well…yeah, sometimes, I didn’t think that was a big deal. I think they’re pretty, it doesn’t mean I’m looking to sleep with them or anything. It’s no different than admiring a painting or a well-made sculpture.”

“Don’t feed me that _bullshit_ Kiomè, you tell me I’m the only one you want and in the same breath you tell me that you just _admire_ girls at random?!”

“Whoa, first of all, did we forget the time I caught you looking at Venice when she was reaching into her locker a month ago? I didn’t say shit about it because I know you don’t want her but you enjoyed the way her skirt rode up her thighs all the same!”

“Alright I admit my fault, but what about your little groupie club, do you check them out too?!” He sighed, already regretting his honesty, I was too at this point.

“Yeah, at first, I mean they are a bunch of pretty girls and yeah I like the attention, they make me feel great, but now they are my friends, I don’t look at them as other than that. For fucks sake Sae, when we were best friends we didn’t fuss about things like this, hell we would talk about how cute Layla looked in her spring formal dress or when Satin cut her hair we liked how it framed her face and brought out her eyes, it isn’t always sexual. It was never a big deal.” I snorted at that, he had the nerve to tell me that those girls who take up his time, that make him feel so good are just friends?

“Right, you think those obsessed wackos are your friends…they would jump your bones the first chance they got…” Now I’ve done it, the way he looked at me said it all.

“You think I’ll cheat on you?!!”

“I didn’t mean it like that, I just…” Yeah…maybe that was what I thought or at the very least he would leave me first, I hated the thought of it though and now he knew it. But he didn’t blow up or even stand; he cupped my face looking at me sadly which only brought a wave of guilt.

“I really don’t know whether to be mad or just sad right now Sae…” He stroked my face with tears in his eyes and looked at me deeply, why does my chest hurt like this?

“Why are you so scared? Where am I right now, where have I been every day, every night since the first night? How can anyone ever be better than you?” He kissed me tenderly as he finished unbuttoning my shirt to caress my chest and I lifted my hands into his hair. Why was I scared, why did seeing him look so happy with them hurt me so much? Why did I keep thinking about standing there on that dance floor alone?

“Where am I Sae, huh, where am I right now?” He leaned me back onto the bed and I wrapped my arms around him. I kept seeing their smiles and hearing their squeals as they put their hands on him; but the moment I felt his body against mine that disappeared and I was brought back into the present.

“You’re with me…” I felt his mouth on my neck and my breath caught.

“And where am I going to be tomorrow night, and the next night after that?”

“With me?” He stopped kissing my neck and looked in my eyes, it was dazzling the way his soul sparkled for me, I made him happy, despite it all I made him happy.

“You’re damn right, I chose you, I _choose_ you and I’m not going anywhere.” Why was I being so insecure, after everything we had gone through he wouldn’t cheat on me or leave me for someone else. I was getting ahead of myself, I had to let this fear go and clear my head.

“I love you Kio…” His mouth met mine before going to my ear and I heard his voice so husky and low that it made me shudder.

“I love you too, and you are all I want.” I’m all he wants...I had to remember that, I’m all he wants. If I didn’t remind myself of that, I may just go mad.


	2. You are All Invited!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kio invites the girls to the band's anniversary concert they had planned to stream at the house of lamentation, the problem is that it was the last thing Satan had wanted.

Chapter 2

K

“Tèa I just don’t understand it, he’s never asked me those sorts of things before and I had to use a lot of charm to convince him I only had eyes for him.” Sae and his brothers had left early the next morning and I opted to walk with my sister to RAD for some piece of advice.

“Yes, well we both know you only have so much of that.”

“Ha, ha. I’m serious, ever since the reception he’s been jealous at the drop of a hat, he’s making Levi look benevolent. And he has a serious problem with the girls.”

“By the girls you mean the Kiostans?”

“Yeah, he asked me if I had ever checked them out, then he laughed when I said they were my friends and said they’d sleep with me the first chance they get.”

“Well…”

“Oh come on Tèa they aren’t like that, sure they have a crush on me but they have boundaries. And they know I’m in a relationship and they are happy about it, I don’t see why he’s so upset about it.”

“Well does he know that they know about you two?” I couldn’t answer that and she looked at me sideways.

“Kio…that would be a good thing to say when such questions arise!”

“I know, I know…but I planned to make an announcement at the anniversary concert tomorrow. If he finds out they knew he will go off, he’ll think I just let them in to our personal lives for no reason. They kept asking me out I had to tell the truth and I wasn’t ashamed of it!”

“Ok sure…but you two need to get on the same page, and maybe he’s right, they don’t need to stay around you so much they act like they are in charge of you or something, you can take care of yourself, and if they were really your friends they would understand that.” Maybe she was right, if having them around was causing the problem then the right thing would be tell them to back off. But the thing is I really didn’t want to do that…

“Kio!”

“Hi Kio!”

“We brought you breakfast Kio, your favorite, buffo egg and cheese croissant!”

“Guys, you didn’t have to do that…” Ari handed me the bag with a smile that made me stare a moment. She was feeling so happy right now, was it because of something at school or something I’ve done?

“Ari, you cut your hair, it looks really nice, I like the way your bangs bring out your eyes.” She quickly lifted her hand to the now shoulder length hair and blushed.

“Thank you Kio, I knew you would notice.”

“Yeah anyway we have a few posts about the anniversary concert and we need your approval, I think this picture of you guys brings out your best features but Yuki thinks you should use the one from your first concert.” The thin platinum blonde put her hand on my shoulder as she leaned in to show me her DDD. She had taken a really nice picture of the four of us and we looked good. I wouldn’t mind using that for the promotion, but then her dark haired twin showed me the photo we used to promote our first live concert after the talent show.

“Unlike my half-wit sister Yana, I think looking on the past is the best way to appreciate it, it shows you where you have been and acknowledges your rise.” I looked at the two pictures and I nodded as I thought, we did get through a lot to get where we are, I mean sure we still only stream and do local gigs but our fandom is over fifteen thousand strong, we may still be small fry but I like how big we are.

“I think you are both right, we need to remember where we are coming from as well as where were are headed, put the two pictures side by side and apply the font in the middle.”

“You are brilliant Kio!”

“He strikes again!”

“And that is why he is the band leader, only someone like him can pull it off.” Ari took my arm and pulled me along and I suddenly felt nervous, why does she say things like this to me we all put in equal work.

“Excuse me ladies, but I think you should give my brother some space.” They looked at her and then at me before whispering among themselves.

“What do we do?”

“She’s his sister, we can’t just disrespect her, that reflects on him.”

“But she has no right to tell us what we can and cannot do!”

“Did any of you hear me?!”

“Hey, listen its fine, I can handle myself like you said.”

“Kio…”

“What does she mean?” I looked to them and sighed, I didn’t want to make them sad but I had to do something.

“Well…I appreciate everything you do for me, I really do, and I don’t know what I would do without you ladies looking out for me but…” They looked at me patiently and I just couldn’t say it, they revolve all their free time to making me happy and helping the band image. They are good girls, I can’t just tell them to stay away from me.

“I can’t just have an anniversary concert without my favorite girls, we will be hosting it at our place tomorrow night and I would love it if you attend.” They screamed and jumped up and down, we had planned to go live on our page only but I couldn’t let them down, they care about me.

“Kiomè!”

“It will be fine I promise! Now look I want the other girls there as well I want all of us supported on this.”

“We have to get the Sastans, the Mamonies and the Belphie-babes too?”

“The Mamonies are a bunch of prissy Barbie dolls that hope to be his sugar babies, I wonder if they even listen to the songs.”

“And the Belphie-babes are weird… they don’t follow any rules…”

“I hear that Belphie threw away a sandwich and they had a knife edge death match over who was going to take his crust.”

“Savages…”

“Now ladies, what have I said about rumors?” Rea waved the others silent and smiled confidently. She and Ari were always the ones that took charge and got the ball rolling. I believe she was the best group leader there was.

“We have it covered, I have the numbers of the each of the group leaders and I will send a text out telling them to come. Your wish is granted.”

“What about Levi? I know there are a few girls dying to talk to him, should I speak with them?” Simi pulled out her DDD as her eyes met mine. That’s true, we would have all these fans over, at least someone can be there for Levi.

“Simi he isn’t even in the band, he’s irrelevant!”

“He is in charge of equipment, sound and he is co-producer! If anything without Levi they have nothing Ari so shut your mouth and go back to filing your claws!”

“Why you-“

“Ladies, I want all of you to listen up, I think I am going to make a rule eleven!” They looked at me like I was coming with stone tablets or something.

“No fighting, I mean it, we all have different opinions but it doesn’t mean we have to insult each other. You are all prettier when you smile anyway.” They nodded and exclaimed their agreement.

“I have it recorded!”

“I will contact the girls now.” My sister shook her head and walked away.”

“You seem to have this covered, I have to go.”

“Wait Tèa-“ Julie grabbed my arm and smiled before I could say anything else.

“You are so smart and fair Kio; that is why you are the greatest.” The girls were happy and we would have the effect of an audience cheering us on at the concert how bad could this be? How mad could Sae get?

S

“So I just got a text from Rea saying that we are all invited to the anniversary concert tomorrow night at the house of Lamentation, I had no idea you guys were throwing that kind of party.” Lexxane leaned against my locker with a cynical smile that made my already bad mood worse.

“What are you talking about?”

“Well it seems the Kiostans have alerted the other groups that you guys will be hosting the concert there and that we are all invited. Apparently Kio had approved this.” Of course he would invite them, we were just supposed to live stream and nothing more, now he’s adding all of these variables that can get us in trouble!

“Aww sweetie don’t fret like that, you’ll stress yourself out.” Rina touched my shoulder and I gave her a look that sent a clear message to back off.

“Where does he get off doing something so stupid?!” I slammed my locker shut and rested my head against the cool metal, he had spent the whole night telling me that I was the only one on his mind and yet he invites them to our house?!

“You know how the Kiostans are, they think just because they follow the band leader that they run the fandom.”

“He may write the music and have a pretty face, but he isn’t one of the seven lords.”

“And the smartest one at that.”

“They think they have clout because he lets them have their little ten commandments and wear those jackets but any self-respecting group would never display themselves in the way they do.” Lexxane’s violet eyes found mine and I looked at her curiously.

“What do you mean?”

“Well I heard word that Kio has had his eye on a special someone; that he may be in a secret relationship.”

“And you think that it’s one of them?”

“Could be, they may be a bunch of twits, but they are smart at times and they are very capable of making Kio look flawless.”

“But he is a demon like anyone else, and he is a guy…who has his pick of girls willing to throw themselves at him.” I shouldn’t be listening to this, they don’t know anything about him, they don’t know that I am the one he’s in a relationship with, but what if they are right too?

“Satan honey, if you don’t want us there then we won’t go, we respect your space enough to do so.” If Kio was going to have his entourage on this night too then two can play at that game.

“No, tell the others, it’s perfectly fine. I would be happy to see you there.” The two of them smiled and it was at that moment we heard their voices instructing others to make way for their object of obsession. They came around the corner in their matching jackets over their uniforms and nails that even matched his own. He walked in the center of them all smiles like he enjoyed this, he knows how it makes me feel and it makes him happy anyway. His eyes fell on me and he stopped to come over and his posse moved alongside almost like they were an extension of him. How did he not see it?

“Hey, how was the emergency meeting?” with the girls here we weren’t going to greet each other like we normally would, not that I wanted to anyway.

“Same bull different day.” He deflated instantly and looked unsure of himself, he figured out that I was pissed.

“Okay…”

“Hello Lexxane, did you get my text, we are going to support the guys at the concert we would love for you to be there.”

“Yes Rea I got it, although I think there were some things you should have covered first before inviting the groups.”

“Really, like what?”

“How about the fact that he didn’t even ask me?!!!” They all looked to me and I saw the confliction in his eyes as he began to stammer. I didn’t want to do this here, I didn’t want to be some kind of spectacle!

“Sae, I’m sorry, I just thought-”

“I don’t care, just do what the fuck you want!!” I walked away burning with a rage I hadn’t felt in a long while, how could he do this to me?! I suddenly felt his hands on me and I turned to shove him away.

“I just wanted the concert to be special, I wanted to show appreciation to our fans, I thought the sound of their cheers would add to the show!”

“You know that any decision like that has to be brought to all of us first! You acting on your own only shows that you don’t give a damn about our opinions!”

“No…I didn’t think that, I wasn’t thinking-“

“No you weren’t, and nowadays you never do!” I noticed his group surround us which only set me off more but the brunette with red eyes came closer looking fearful as she touched my arm.

“Listen, we don’t want to cause a fight. If you guys don’t want us there then we won’t go.”

“Yeah, I only sent the text to the other three groups, I can say it was a mistake on my behalf, it’s no big deal.”

“Please don’t fight.”

“What do any of you care as long as you have your golden boy!”

“We love your band, we love the music, if you two fight then that is no more. We may be Kiostans but we eat, sleep and bleed Hell’s Hurricane!” they nodded and Lexxane made a look to reiterate her point, they aren’t stupid and unreasonable after all.

“Fine, we will discuss the matter at lunch, the five of us only.” They backed off and I went to class, I was over this entire fiasco, but I had a plan.

K

“I really messed up Simi…what am I going to do?” One of the rules was that no one of the girls was to be alone with me at any given time unless we shared a class, this was so no one could argue about getting more time with me but I was happy for this moment because out of the six of them I felt like Simi got me the most. She sat next to me as she tucked her dark hair behind her ear and looked at me sadly.

“Friend, you should have talked to the others before making such a decision, it isn’t like you to be spontaneous like that.”

“I know, I know…I just wanted to make everyone happy.”

“Saesae is very mad at you, is it because of us?” I leaned back in my chair, hardly able to listen to the teachers lecture, I just erased everything I said last night by doing what I did.

“Simi, can I ask you something?”

“Of course, ask away.”

“Are we friends?”

“I believe we are yes, you are a good person and you’re really cool. I like being able to support you.”

“So you don’t have any ill intentions or anything? Can I trust you?” She looked up front for a moment before turning in her chair to look at me.

“Friend, I said I am here to support you and I mean it. So spill the beans.” I sighed, feeling the weight of what I’ve done.

“Sae thinks you guys just want to sleep with me, that you aren’t really my friends.”

“He sounds like a whole jellyfish.”

“What?”

“He’s jealous, maybe because we spend so much time with you?”

“I suppose so, but he should be able to trust me, I wouldn’t do that to him.” She looked away for a moment and I turned toward her.

“You believe me right?”

“Well…that depends.”

“On what?!”

“Shh!!” we lowered our heads as the teacher looked over us and lowered our voices.

“It’s just that, I see the way Ari looks at you, she’s really attracted to you.”

“So? I mean I was lead to believe that all of you like me, why is she different?”

“Because I see how you look at her.” she kept her eyes down and I felt a lump in my throat, I didn’t expect that sort of answer.

“I don’t understand…me and Ari…”

“We figured out early that you like blondes and the fact that you are with Saesae tells me we are dead on, but its more than that, there is…chemistry between you two and she goes out of her way to please you. She got her hair cut just to see if you would notice and you did instantly.”

“That doesn’t mean anything, she’s a great person yes and she’s pretty, you all are!”

“Are you attracted to her?” I couldn’t answer that right away, I thought back to the time a few months ago when we were doing a photo shoot for the site and they all showed up, but she wore a cute bikini that let me know what sort of curves were under her uniform and I hadn’t been able to slow my heart when she talks to me since. But I never laid a hand on her, I never gave her an implication that I liked her because I don’t…not like that…

“I…think she’s really pretty.”

“Friend, be real with me, you think Ari is hot, and maybe if Sae wasn’t with you…?” the thought of it ran through my head and I shook it hard.

“I don’t love her, I don’t even like her like her.”

“But she really likes you.”

“What should I do?”

“The rules are in place for a reason, keep the boundaries, if she wants to remain a Kiostan she will do so as well. And Besides, Ari isn’t a bad person, she would never come on to you unless you wanted to first and not while you’re in a relationship.” Then there was nothing to worry about after all…good, I could calm down.

“But you think I would cheat on Sae?”

“You are a sweet guy, you would never hurt him like that, but I’m saying you need to watch out, we are demons and some of us live up to that.” That much was very true, I learned the hard way that other demons can be wicked, but I would never have thought I would have to watch out for myself.

S

“I mean I don’t see a problem with havin’ a few lovely ladies cheer us on for our anniversary, let ‘em see the Great Mammon and all his wonder!”

“Yeah well as soon as they realize you blow all your money as soon as the check is cut they will drop you like a bad habit.”

“Not if I blow it on them, they want to get a taste of the sweet life I can make it happen. I can make the Mamonies very satisfied.”

“Says the guy still hung up on my sister I haven’t seen you on a date since I met you.”

“I have dates, loads of ‘em, it’s why I can’t keep my eyes open in class!”

“Right, and next you’ll tell me you’re debt has been paid off.”

“Devildom will have frozen over.”

“Belphie you aren’t one to talk, you don’t go out at all did the Belphie-babes dry up?”

“Oh no they ask me out all the time I’m just saving myself for your mother.”

“Shut up jackass!” They laughed around the table while I tried desperately to forget the way he deliberately ignored my emotions and kept them close anyway. I could tell he was nervous sitting next to me though he was trying to be nonchalant about it. Of course Mammon and Belphie would agree to this stunt, it wasn’t their responsibility if anything goes wrong.

“But if all four groups are coming, that means there will be about twenty girls over at the house, we have to have accommodations for all of them and hope they don’t break anything!” Thank you Levi.

“Well make that thirty, Rea mentioned that there were some girls that wanted to get to know you too.”

“M-m-me…? Why would they want to meet me, I’m nobody, I’m behind the scenes!” From the way his face reddened he was secretly in for this too, I never should have agreed to a band meeting. But this would mean my plan could be set in motion, if he had no problem with having his girls all over him then I would see how he likes it turned around.

“Fine if you are all in favor then we can let it be as it is, but you are all responsible for your group, if anything happens to the house and Lucifer comes down on me then I will vent my frustration all over each of you.”

“Y-yeah…got it.”

“And Kio…” He looked at me like a puppy that had made a mess on the carpet, it was cute and I was conflicted in my words.

“You had a point, their cheering us on would be nice and it would pay a special tribute to them, but that was reckless of you to do that and without bringing it to us first. You know that!”

“Yeah I know, I’m sorry Babe, I just…” I reached over and gabbed his hand which made him relax a bit. I didn’t want him worried, not yet, not until he had gotten a taste of his own medicine.

“You got excited, that happens but we are a team, if we forget that we won’t last another year.” He blushed and I knew I was successful.

“If you two are going to make out please let us know so we can leave.” We chuckled and at the moment I let go of his hand, another pair of hands had covered his eyes.

“Guess who?” A pretty blonde with bluish eyes stood behind him and I could tell from the black and gold nails that she was one of his and from the way he reddened a bit I was now interested.

“Oh…gee, could it be…Lizzie? Oh wait no, how about Yuki?” Smartass, you knew who it was. She leaned into his ear and whispered low and I watched his face turn crimson before her hands went down his chest as she pressed her breasts against his back.

“Ari…please back up…” He was completely flustered and that made her chuckle as she stood.

“Where are the others?”

“It’s just me, we don’t have lunch at this time but I knew you guys would be here in a meeting so I thought I would come and bring you the flyer we made for the anniversary. We went with the idea that you gave us about embracing the past and looking to the future and we came up with this.” She slid the paper into his hand and Levi snatched it right out to look it over.

“It actually looks really good, I like the color flow and you have the link all set up and everything. I mean I would have used a different font, but if you guys like it.” We passed it around and I admit it was a pretty good flyer, but I hated the thought of it coming from them.

“I have access to the printers since I am a part of the office and I was thinking we can pass these out, maybe the other groups can pull some weight as well.”

“But why is the price cut? Ya got it at ten Grimm, our streaming price is twenty!”

“That was the price of your very first concert, we figured this sort of deal would not only reminisce on how far you have come, but those who couldn’t afford it otherwise would come and stream. You can gain new followers that way.” She was pretty and smart.

“She’s right, I like it, what do you guys say?”

“I guess, my cut better stay the same.”

“As long as I don’t have to pass anything out I’m good.” I looked over to my partner who seemed to be staring a hole into the table. 

“And what do you think Kio?”

“I…think it’s good, if you guys are for it then I am too.” He fidgeted as she stepped beside him and bent over the table. He never acted this way when they were all together, what is his deal with her?

“Aw Kio, you know our job is to take care of the band; and I would do anything for you.” She reached over and tucked his hair behind his ear with a smile and her thumb traced his lip before he backed up. Oh she really likes him, I knew it, and his soul was going haywire. It wasn’t the normal shimmer and sparkle I was used to but they looked like wild sparks, like flashes of lightning, I found that odd because I had never seen it before.

“Ari that is enough, why did you do that?” I thought this would at least be the final straw for him and he would put his foot down.

“Sorry, we are just really affectionate in my family. I hope you can forgive me.” But he relented and sighed.

“Just…don’t do that, okay?” She nodded and looked over to me and smiled widely as she pinched his cheek.

“Of course, I’m sorry, but I just can’t help it. He’s such a catch isn’t he, he’s adorable. Well I have to go now, much work to be done, bye bye.” She stepped back and with a wave she left us, Belphie and Mammon watching her go intently.

“Wow, a fan like that is wasted on ya Kio, I think I might take her off ya hands, pull her over to my side.”

“She’s out of your league Mammon.”

“Hell the trashcan by the door is out of your league!” Levi and Belphie laughed but I looked at Kio who looked like he expected me to yell at him.

“Sae…I didn’t-”

“Honestly Kio, I don’t care.”

“Wait where are you going?!”

“I lost my damn appetite.” So it was her, was she the one that gets him going when he’s around them? I had never seen his soul do that before, it looked like a storm was brewing in there. Well even if it isn’t, there is one brewing out here.


	3. Party from Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Gathering is underway but a misunderstanding makes an already tense situation explosive, and Satan seduces another soul with temptation.

Chapter 3

K

“He hates me, he seriously hates me right now.” I paced in my room all evening, he locked his door and wouldn’t speak to me all day, I slept alone last night feeling like garbage because of what happened. Why did Ari have to come alone like that and why did she hint to Sae that she knew about us?! The way she whispered in my ear that she had a special surprise for me put my mind in a place it didn’t need to be when you’re sitting next to your significant other! She screwed me over!

“He doesn’t hate you Kio, you’re overthinking it.” Belphie sat back in my chair adjusting the strings on his bass as I ranted like a child about to be punished.

“He’s like super pissed at me!”

“Oh on that you’re right on.”

“What am I going to do?!”

“Well you are the one who decided to date the avatar of wrath, and the fact that he didn’t blow up at you means he is festering in there. Whatever he has in store for you, is going to be wicked.”

“Aw damn it, why did you have to say that?! He’s going to fucking kill me!”

“No, he won’t kill you, he’ll torture slowly, stick needles under your finger nails and burn your skin and make you wish for death.”

“Get out.”

“Stop freaking out, you know that’s part of his game. If he knows he’s under your skin he’ll let you squirm until you keel over.” He was right, there was nothing I could do about it now, if he was going to punish me there was no point in stressing about it.

“I guess you’re right…”

“Now come on, the girls will be here in like a half hour and we have to keep an eye on them or things will be a lot worse.” I knew he was right and I choked back my nerves to head to the music room to see how Levi was setting things up and to my utter surprise Sae was sitting on the loveseat with two of his girls on his lap.

“So this is the song of the siren record!”

“I can’t believe you actually have a copy!”

“You know once my brother was craving a drink and you had to listen to the song in order to make it, well it took all of us to keep him from dunking himself into the bathtub.” They laughed a little too much at the story and I noticed a green haired girl with violet eyes brush back his hair as he looked up at her playfully. So that was his game, he wanted me to see what it felt like. Oh thank Lord Diavolo!

“Satan you have the most amazing library I have ever seen, I couldn’t fit so many books in my whole house and you’ve read them all already?”

“Isn’t he the smartest demon you could ever meet?”

“And the sexiest too.” The pink haired girl whispered in his ear that made him grin ear to ear and I got a sour taste in my mouth.

“Now Rina…ha, how naughty of you.” She giggled as he whispered in her ear and I felt a slimy lead ball in the pit of my stomach. He made his point, but he was going to understand mine as well.

“Hey I see the party has already gotten started!” I walked over with a smile, he wasn’t going to see what he had just done to me not by a long shot.

“Well yes, they came by to help set up, we got talking and I guess we lost track of time.”

“By all means, take your time, I’ll go see what Levi needs.”

“Well come get me if I take too long.”

“No, I don’t need to do that, _I trust you_ to do what you have to.” I turned away with a grin and I could feel his scowl on my back. I’ve seen his girls enough times to know they would play along with his game if he asked, I wasn’t worried about them or him. The problem isn’t my girls but the fact that he doesn’t trust me, and if that is the issue then we have a bigger problem than I thought.

S

“I don’t think he fell for it honey.”

“I didn’t know you and Kio were a thing, that’s actually kind of hot.” He didn’t want to show it but I saw it in his eyes, he didn’t like what he was seeing and yet he refused to acknowledge that he was in the wrong! He trusts me, that isn’t the point! If he had any respect for me he would make them back off, I would have figured after that blatant display Ari had made he would have gained some humility!

“Lexxane, what can you tell me about Ari?”

“Kio’s Ari? I meant Ari from Kio’s group?! Yeah, we have classes together I know a bit about her.”

“What can you tell me?”

“Well, she is really a nice girl, she likes to come off as a total bitch at times or pretends that she doesn’t care about anything but I know deep down she’s…I don’t know, sad maybe.”

“I hear she works in the school office to help pay her tuition because her family can’t afford it. It’s just her mother and four younger sisters, her father disappeared a few years back. But I wouldn’t ask her about him.”

“Why is that?”

“Well when he disappeared so did the bruises, we all saw them but we didn’t talk to her about it.”

“Not that we could do anything.”

“I assume she’s glad he’s gone and wouldn’t want to bring up the past.” So it was possible she was abused, that doesn’t explain why she flirts with him so much!

“I wasn’t really that close to her but I have talked to her over the years in class, she’s really a nice person but she is very snippy to anyone that wants in.”

“Then why would you say she’s nice?!”

“Because I’ve seen her at the park with her sisters, she’s amazing with them like a mother almost and she protects them. Most girls our age wouldn’t be bothered with our younger siblings but she…she looks like she enjoys it.” I didn’t understand it, the girl I was hearing about didn’t seem like the same one that draped herself all over Kio. I had to have a talk with her to see just what type of demon she was.

K

“Is everything set up?”

“Yeah, we are ready to go on in about twenty, Mammon and Belphie just text me and said the other girls are here and they are showing them around the house.”

“Did you hear yourself just now?!” He looked up from his computer and went pale.

“Please supervise, if something happens and we get in trouble Satan will ruin our whole existence!”

“I got it, I’m in enough hot water as it is!” I ran out of there fast and listened out for about twenty five giggling girls walking around our house, I checked the kitchen and the living room to no avail and I went upstairs to our bedrooms and as I ran by I caught a flash of yellow in my bed and stopped. I stood in the doorway and saw Ari laying in my bed reading my lyric book. I should really start locking it up!

“What do you think your…” She was crying…why would she be crying? She looked up startled and quickly closed it as she sat up wiping her face.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have invaded your privacy, it’s just so beautiful…”

“Yeah well the list of those who haven’t read in it is shorter than those who have. But why are you crying?” She looked to the floor and sighed before lifting her face, her pretty eyes swollen and red. I could feel the deep sadness that spilled from her, the utter despair that I was once so familiar with and I instantly reached to wipe the tears from her eyes. I hated seeing anyone in pain, especially pain I knew. She took my hand and held it to her cheek as she looked at me and I felt my cheeks redden. We shouldn’t be alone like this.

“You are a broken soul…I knew it from the songs you wrote, I could feel it in the melody. You know…you know what it feels like.” She released my hand and I sat on my bed a foot away from her, I should make her leave, I should have yelled at her…but with what she was feeling right now, I couldn’t do that. I have been there so many times and yelling doesn’t do anything.

“Yeah…I’m no stranger to pain, sometimes I joke that we are old buddies.” She chuckled at that and shook her head.

“I wanted to say I’m sorry for yesterday, I was so stupid and Satan was right there!”

“Why did you do that anyway?” She stammered a moment and looked at me with sad eyes.

“Because…I really like you Kio, I…think that you are such a strong and amazing demon…you suffered so much and you came out on top. You are able to hold your head up high and mean it. I can’t do that…”

“Why not, you are smart and pretty and innovative and you do so much work around RAD. You have a lot to be proud of!”

“I have to do those things! I have to work to afford going to school, I have to have good grades in order to stay there, me being pretty has done more harm than good, believe me…you are the strong one, you are the wonderful one Kio…” I couldn’t slow my heart down as she spoke, I saw the way her shorts rode up her thighs and I quickly averted my gaze. Simi had asked if I was attracted to her, if I would be with her if Sae wasn’t in my life or even if we never took our friendship to another step… and I couldn’t give her an outright no. I had known Ari for several months and she was a good person, but the truth was there was a physical attraction. Maybe I would have asked her out if I hadn’t fallen for Sae, maybe I would have given her a shot, but the fact is that there was no way for that. I love Satan, and nothing was going to tear me away from what I have with him.

“I’m not wonderful Ari, I have been through hell and back, I still have to get help for my own issues. I just get by one day at a time, and that is my advice for you.”

“I try to…but it’s so hard when I think of my sister Teri.”

“I thought you had only four sisters.” She was silent for a long moment and she looked at me with fresh tears.

“There…was an accident…Teri was only an infant and Dad was mad over something mother had done. He wanted to make her suffer, and I told him to hit me, choke me, beat me but not my sisters! But he wanted to punish our mother bad…I hate myself so much or letting it happen!” She choked and sobbed and I held her close. I suppose pain was an old friend of hers as well.

“Ari…it wasn’t your fault, you know that right? Listen to me, stop blaming yourself for the actions of others, it will kill you understand? Do you think about hurting yourself?” She looked at me vacantly and I shuddered.

“Someone has to stay alive for my sisters, mother had been depressed since Teri… she doesn’t get out of bed even to eat. You are the only one I had ever told all of this to, you understand don’t you, what it feels like to be constantly crushed by sadness and pain but you have to look good for others so they aren’t dragged down by your sorrow?”

“I know it well…” I unfastened the straps on my arm warmers and pulled them back to reveal my scars.

“A while back I tried to kill myself, Lucifer saved my life and for the first couple of weeks I hated him for it. I wanted the pain to go away, I wanted that crushing weight off of me. If I was so worthless then why not die? But I know better than that now, I am worth a lot more than I thought I was and every day these scars remind me that I’m still here and that I deserve to be here.” She touched them tenderly and she looked up at me with flushed cheeks that made me nervous.

“Thank you for telling me that, thank you for letting me into your pain.” I lifted her face and smiled at her.

“You deserve to be here too.” She blushed and looked away from me and I pulled my hand away. What was I doing, why did I touch her face like that? I was only comforting her, but I was skating on thin ice and I didn’t want her to get the wrong idea of me.

“I need to apologize to Satan, I acted so stupid yesterday and I know he hates me. You love him so much…I would die to have a love like that…” I looked to my book and thought of the many passages I had written when thinking of him, I did love him and I understood his complaints but he had to be able to trust me as I do him.

“You are a great person, you will find someone that appreciates just what a beautiful and special girl you really are, don’t worry.” She hugged me and I felt such warmth, I really lifted her spirits. A small sound at the door made me turn my head there was Sae watching us with a blank expression.

“Sae, I-“

“Levi says we are on in five, I suggest you get downstairs.” His tone was low and he left without allowing me to explain! Dammit, I was really in for it now!

“I’ll talk to him, I’ll apologize and set everything straight!”

“No because then he will know I told you guys about us, it was supposed to be a surprise.”

“But Kio-”

“If he finds out I went behind his back _again_ and told you guys he will do much worse!! Promise me you won’t tell him that you know!” She sat back wide eyed and tucked her hair back.

“I…I promise…” I stood on shaky legs and went straight for the door.

“We have to go.” This is bad, hopefully this night won’t get any worse.

S

“Sae, wait! Please talk to me!”

“Why, there is nothing to talk about, I should know by now that you are going to do what you want to do!” I keep seeing his arms around her, her face in his neck and it made me see red. The only thing keeping me together was knowing that we would be live in a few minutes and him being a bloody mess would be bad for the band.

“Satan stop it!!” He wrapped his arms around me and buried his face in my shoulder the others were looking at us curiously and already they were whispering. I saw as Mammon and Belphie ushered them into the room to have their seats so we could hash this matter out without an audience and I appreciated that.

“Get the hell off of me Kiomè!!”

“No! I swore I would never let you go again, and I meant that! Why can’t you trust me?!”

“What?!”

“You heard me, why can’t you trust me, why can’t you believe me when I tell you that I love you?! Do you want me to say it in there in front of all of them? I chose you Sae, there is no one that can replace you or be any better than you! Why can’t you believe me when I say it?!” Why couldn’t I believe him, why was I feeling so sick right now?

“Because you have a funny way of showing it…” 

“That was only a hug, she was having a hard time and-“

“No Kio! It wasn’t only a hug, it was a lot more than that! I told you that I hate them being all over you and you allow it anyway, I told you to put your foot down and you indulge them anyway. She was all over you yesterday and instead of telling her off or even setting boundaries you have her alone in your room with your arms around her! What the hell am I supposed to think how am I supposed to deal with that?!”

“I told you that I would never cheat on you, I told you that you are the only one I want. I’m in love with you not anyone else!”

“Yeah… well who said love had anything to do with it?” He let me go and I heard the breath rush from him. Now it was my turn to ram my foot in my mouth.

“What the fuck Sae?! Is that how you see me as some horny dog trying to hump the leg of any pretty thing that looks at me?! Do you think after everything we went through all the bullshit we had to suffer through that I would fuck around on you?!!” He looked so mad, and all I could feel was that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.

“I believe that you would do anything to make others happy, and if anyone said the right words to you-“

“Fuck you!!” He started to cry and I turned away from him, he’s so mad at me but he couldn’t see the hurt I was feeling over this!

“You couldn’t even tell them to stop putting their hands on you…you couldn’t do one thing I asked of you! If I did that shit to you, you would be pissed too!!”

“NO, because I fucking _trust_ you!! I know you wouldn’t betray me, but now I’m not so sure!”

“Don’t go there, not when I see you with Ari, not when I see the way she looks at you!”

“So she likes me, it doesn’t mean _I want her_!!”

“Bullshit, are you attracted to her? You better be honest with me!” He cursed under his breath and ran his hand through his hair. He couldn’t say no, I thought so.

“Exactly.”

“You know what, I’m getting really sick of this, you haven’t been this way since the whole soul sickness issue! But fuck I would rather have that go on again, at least that made sense!!”

“Well at this point I wouldn’t mind shoving you off some stairs again!” Damn…I could have said anything but that and his eyes showed it.

“You never asked me if I check other guys out…why?” he stepped forward and I bit my tongue.

“You are only around us and I know you aren’t interested in my brothers…”

“No, that isn’t it, this isn’t about me cheating on you, it’s about me cheating on you with a girl why? Why are you so damned insecure about it?” Why wasn’t I worried about other guys; because I was the only one he would openly flirt with. Hell he hardly spoke to other guys outside of my brothers. What if I was a fluke and he soon figured that out, what if he woke up and realized he didn’t want what I had to offer anymore? But I was too mad to say it now.

“Maybe it was the way you blushed having Ari’s breasts against your back or the way you lit up like a Christmas tree when she put her hands on you! At this point no, it isn’t about girls it’s about _that_ girl. And you never answered me when I asked if you were attracted to her!”

“I DON’T WANT HER SAE!!”

“THEN ANSWER ME!!” He sighed and started to chuckle, he was pissed now and I could see it, his eyes were pitch black.

“Does she make you feel special, does she make you feel like a _real man_?”

“I am a man, so fuck you!!”

“You still didn’t answer me!”

“I’m sick of this, I’m tired of having to explain myself to you at every turn!” he turned to leave and I followed behind him, nowhere near through with this fight.

“You wouldn’t have to if you would respect me!”

“Levi called, he wants his jealous fits of paranoia back!”

“Fuck you Kiomè!!” He sucked his teeth and pulled out his DDD as he walked away from the house.

“What are you doing?!”

“I’m leaving, I don’t want to do a show with you, I don’t even want to look at your jealous ass right now! Hell since I’m such a horny bastard I may as well call the girls up and get a good fuck in while I’m at it!”

“FINE GET OUT, I DON’T WANT TO DO THIS STUPID CONCERT WITH YOU ANYWAY!!!”

“At least they know how to share!!” he flipped me off as he walked away and I felt my chest tighten. Come back, please Kio turn around…I’m sorry…

“Kio…” he left, he was gone and I felt so alone. I felt the fire of my rage burn hotter and I turned back to the house with purpose. Levi looked relieved to see me as I walked in.

“Good, I trust you guys made up, now we are only ten minutes late but we can get back on track-”

“We aren’t doing a show.”

“Wha?? What’s goin’ on, where’s Kio?”

“He left, cancel the show and tell them to go home.”

“What about the viewers? There are over ten thousand viewers standing by-“

“THEN YOU PUT ON A SHOW BECAUSE I DON’T GIVE A DAMN!!” they backed off and I left the room, I had to find her right now. Asmo was quickly behind me, trying to calm me down and I was not in the mood to be calm.

“Oh Tantan don’t be like that, sure Kiki can be a little friendly but he would never betray you. You know that, he loves you.”

“Asmo, unless you want your arm broken, I suggest you take your hand off me and leave me alone.” He stepped back and I spotted her in the planetarium and quickly grabbed her by her upper arm to pull her away.

“Wait please we didn’t do anything, don’t hurt me!” I pulled her into the library and shut the door before shoving her against the wall. She was pretty and blonde, she was smart and apparently she could relate to him, she was petite and dainty and worst of all she liked him a lot. She was just his type. I leaned over her as she cowered against the wall her eyes down and shaking and I thought of the things I could do to her, the ways I could make her suffer but I had a better idea…an idea I wish I never thought of.

“You didn’t do anything?”

“No I swear, he is a perfect gentleman, he didn’t touch me or anything like that. I was stupid to behave that way with him yesterday when he was involved with-” she stopped short and I grabbed her throat to make her look at me.

“Involved with who? What makes you think he’s involved with anyone?”

“I…I thought…”

“Believe me, Kio is free as a bird. It’s actually why I brought you in here, to talk about that.”

“Me, why me, what do I have to do with it?” You have everything to do with it.

“Do you like him, be honest.”

“Y-yes…I really do.”

“Are you attracted to him physically?”

“Yes…I am.”

“Well I know he’s attracted to you, he wants you but he’s too shy to admit it. He’s been very pent up lately and he needs a special someone to put him at ease. He’s been stressed with school and the band, he makes no time for himself and he needs someone to take care of him for once. You like him right, do you think you can help him?” She looked at me like I was insane and maybe in this moment I was, I don’t even know how I was thinking straight enough to tell her this.

“What exactly am I supposed to do?” I caressed her face gently and brushed my lips against her ear making her tremble.

“You are to do the one thing that you both really want to do, you’re going to sleep with him.”

“How can you ask me to do that?!” I didn’t move and she quickly quieted.

“I see the way you act around him, if he lifted you against this shelf right now you would spread your legs and welcome him.” She lifted her hand to slap me but I caught her wrist and kissed her hand gently.

“I’m not some sort of slut!!”

“I never said you were, if you like him and he likes you then what harm does it do?”

“Then why doesn’t he approach me?”

“Because he always takes care of others before himself, he’s liked you for months. Ever since you walked into our summer shoot in that blue halter bikini he has had his eyes on you.” I stepped back and watched her as she thought about it, her cheeks flushed when I said he had his eyes on her and I moved over to my secret book.

“In this book over thirty thousand grimm.”

“So now I’m a whore?”

“Nothing of the kind, consider this a gift for helping my best friend.”

“I can’t, I won’t do this, he’s a good person!”

“Which is why he needs this, and you are a good person too aren’t you? You work at RAD so you can afford to go to school, this will not only cover your tuition for a few years but you can help your family, I know your sisters would like to have a few new dresses, something good to eat?” Her lip trembled as she looked at the book in my hand, I opened it to show her it was in fact full of money.

“What are you doing Satan…what are you planning to do to him?” what was I planning, nothing short of his downfall. I knew it, I was going to hurt him all to prove a point yet I was so blind with anger I couldn’t pull myself out of the pit I was falling in.

“Are you going to take it or not, but if you take it there is no turning back.” She was a demon, we all had our vices and she didn’t take too much longer to reach her hand out to grab the book and hold it to her chest.

“Very good, now all you have to do is get to know him intimately, and record it when you do. I don’t care how, you can play that by ear.”

“What if he refuses me?”

“Then try harder, if he truly doesn’t want you, then he will make it clear. Don’t take any half assed refusals for an answer if it isn’t a clear no then it’s still a muddled yes.” I have to know, would he do it if he was pushed, if he had the opportunity would he seize it? If it isn’t her then maybe it would be no one… I had to know for sure.

“What if he really says no?”

“If he clearly refuses then you keep the money, help your family and pay for school. If he doesn’t…then you get to fuck Kiomè Minamino…maybe you’ll be his girlfriend…either way you luck out.” She studied my eyes but I kept my face straight, she couldn’t know the pain I was feeling in my heart right now, she can’t know how much I wanted to take this back.

“This isn’t right…I feel dirty, but…I need this money. And I really like Kio…I wouldn’t do this otherwise! Don’t tell anyone else about this, I’m not some whore, don’t tell anyone please!” She was crying and I backed away to the door. Take it back, call it off, give her the money and say never mind!

“Don’t worry I won’t tell a soul.”

“You promise?”

“Believe me, I’m going to take this to my grave.”

K

How can he be such a bastard?!! He literally said he’s afraid I’ll get all horny and screw around on him like he meant nothing to me! He made me out to be such an asshole, and worst of all he sounded so justified when he did it! I shouldn’t have said that I was going to sleep around on him though, if he wasn’t feeling insecure then he is now. Dammit, girls or guys I suck at relationships!

My DDD rang and I hoped it would be Sae but to my surprise it was a number I didn’t know.

“Hello?”

“Kio, what happened, everyone is worried about you!”

“Ari? How do you have my number?”

“…Asmo gave it to me, we thought you might be in trouble.”

“Well I’m assuming the concert is canceled, I’m sorry you guys got dragged into our drama. Life in a band isn’t always what it’s cracked up to be.”

“Well they decided instead of a concert they would throw a large party, so it isn’t a total loss.”

“That’s good.”

“Kio…what happened?”

“Sae and I had a fight obviously, it got nasty.”

“Are you guys okay?”

“Honestly…no, I don’t think so. I don’t know Ari I just…I feel like shit right now.” Why was her voice so soothing, why did I feel comfort talking to her?

“Oh honey…tell me where you are, I’ll be right over.”

“I really don’t want to deal with the girls right now, I don’t have the strength for it.”

“Then I will be by your side, we can get some ice cream and eat it together and cry about how men aren’t shit.”

“Ha, ha, that sounds great…I don’t know…I don’t know if us being together would be a good idea.” This is dangerous, I couldn’t have her with me right now or maybe ever again, and yet the thought of walking alongside her with some ice cream while we complained about guys and whatever else sounded so nice. What the hell am I thinking? _‘Are you attracted to her, you never answered me!’_ I didn’t answer anyone did I?

“Kio you take care of everyone around you, you need someone to take care of you for a change. I promise, we will only get ice cream and we can walk in the park, you need to let off some steam.”

“Yeah…I know…I’m by the Mausoleum…”

“I’ll be right there, and they don’t close for a few more hours, we can check it out together, you can take your mind off of this mess.”

“Yeah…Ari?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you, I really need someone right now, you are such a good friend.” She was silent for a moment and I had thought we were disconnected.

“I really like you Kio…I would do anything for you. I’m on my way.”

“Awesome, I’ll be waiting.” We hung up and I sat on the stairs thinking this all over, was I attracted to her? Yeah…I am, and now I think it’s for more than just her body and that was going to damn me before this was all over.


	4. The Storm Begins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Despite Kio's attempts at an apology Ari keeps her end of the bargain.

Chapter 4

S

Satan ya really gotta let this go, we haven’t practiced in over a week, I can’t make Grimm with rusty wrists!”

“As much as it makes me sick I have to agree with Mammon, you two have never fought like this before.”

“And let’s be real, Kiki is torn up about you, he has been leaving you letters and candy or days and you just throw them in the garbage!”

“Yeah, these are the good ones too.” I sat at the breakfast table without an ounce of an appetite as they talked, I hadn’t so much as laid eyes on him in since that night and during that time she has been taking up his time, she has shown me pictures of them just doing things that friends do and when I asked her she told me that she wanted to ease him in slowly. I suppose she was right, Kio wasn’t stupid enough to just jump into bed with anyone for no reason. But it isn’t this deal I made that is bothering me the most, but what will happen because of it. If he does sleep with her then I will definitely lose him, I will never be able to trust him because he will have proven my point. If he doesn’t however…I would have to keep this to myself for the rest of my life or else I will lose him regardless. Who was I to play with him like this, who am I to put that girl in such a position? I used money because I knew her family was poor, I really am a demon!

“I mean sooner or later the two of you have to talk it out, you guys have avoided each other long enough.” I have been avoiding him, I keep thinking about him spending time with her and it only reignites my rage, they haven’t done anything yet but I wonder what they are talking about, what are they doing? But I put them together, I set this up just to see if he would fall, if I was willing to do this, then does it mean it’s already over between us?

“Just be real Satan, is it over between you two?” I looked up and looked at my five brothers at the table unable to answer that question for myself. My DDD rang and I was grateful for the reprieve and excused myself from the table.

“Yeah?”

“Well we had breakfast at Madame Screams’ and he’s in the restroom, I just wanted to check in.”

“And?”

“Well we didn’t talk about much and he refuses to talk about you, it seems to make him sad for some reason.”

“We had a fight, that is why I am doing this…to say I’m sorry.” Yes Satan, dig yourself deeper.

“Listen…I get the feeling much more is going on-”

“Are you trying to back out, how much longer are you going to stall for time?!”

“I’m sorry if he isn’t the type to jump into bed after a first date! These aren’t even dates, it’s like I’m just here to distract him…” 

“Should I just take my money back then?” Yes, just call all of this off while we still can.

“No please! I was able to give my sisters a chance to have some food from Hell’s Kitchen, they really liked it and we are learning to make the recipes, and Lana finally has a new pair of shoes…”

“Then get it done.”

“Okay…I’ll do it today…I’ll record everything.” I hung up and tried to slow my breathing. This was hell, absolute hell and I brought it on myself. I had to remind myself that whatever will happen would be his choice, I can tie the horse to the trough but he doesn’t have to drink.

K

Damn it, I almost started crying in front of her again, she doesn’t need to be weighed down by my bullshit! I have been feeling like hell and Ari is taking her time out to see me to cheer me up. I have been telling the girls that I needed her for a project for school and so far they haven’t questioned me too much on it, but I feel like the more I spend time with Ari, the more Sae removes himself from me, almost like he knows we go out to eat together and talk. He refuses my letters and apologies, it’s like he’s already broken things off with me. I met her back at the table just as she was putting her DDD in her bag.

“Hey, are you alright?”

“Yeah, I just had an eyelash in my eye, it hurt like hell.” She stood and stroked my face to look at my eyes and I felt my heart begin to pound under her touch.

“I don’t see eyelashes, but I do see sadness, this is breaking your heart Kio…why are you putting up with this?” She hugged me close and it made me feel so nice and I wrapped my arms around her. She was so small, she could rest her head on my chest and I began to imagine cuddling her close.

“We should get to class, I don’t want to be late.”

“Are you sure you’re up to that?”

“My mother will catch a fit if I miss even one day, since the…you know what she wants to make sure I stay safe.”

“I get it, okay, let’s go.” The walk to school was dreary as the storm clouds built overhead and I prepared for the hurricane that was Sae’s mood. Would he ignore me like he had been for days or would this be the day he finally lashes out? The other girls quickly met up with us and we walked into school like we usually did only this time I wasn’t smiling and I didn’t feel anything like a rock star…actually I felt like garbage.

“Aw honey you look so broken hearted.”

“It will be okay, we have your back!”

“We won’t desert you Kio!” I wanted to crawl into a hole and die, I felt so tired that I could hardly stand and they just wouldn’t stop talking to me.”

“Guys, maybe we should back off of him, he isn’t well.”

“And what makes you in charge Ari?”

“Just because you two have some school project doesn’t mean you can tell us anything.”

“Just look at him, you don’t have to be a rocket scientist to know we are draining him!”

“So she thinks she knows him better now?” They continued to argue over me and it only made me feel worse, I spotted Sae with the others and I instantly moved over to talk to them.

“Sae, I need to talk to you.” He looked at me for a second and kept right on talking to Asmo. The others saw that and just kept looking back and forth. I reached out and grabbed his shoulder, I couldn’t take this anymore.

“Sae please, I’m sorry!” He slapped my hand away and I felt like knife went into my chest. His eyes pierced me so hatefully that I felt even smaller than I had before.

“Satan, that wasn’t right.”

“Yeah he just wants to talk.”

“You guys need to settle this once and for all, we aint makin’ any money like this.”

“Damn Kio, you look like shit.”

“Thank you Belphie, I wouldn’t know what to do without that exquisite observation. I feel like shit, Sae please, I just want to talk to you.” He sighed and the brothers left patting me on the shoulder to wish me luck which didn’t give me much hope.

“What do you want?”

“Look I’m sorry…I’ve been a complete ass to you. I should have listened to you the first time and respected your feelings. I don’t want to fight with you any more…I need you.” His eyes gave nothing away and he was hiding his emotions from me which was good maybe, because if he was just mad he wouldn’t bother to hide it.

“Babe please…you’re the only one I want, I’ve never cheated on you and I won’t. I love you, I just want us to be back the way we were, I’m willing to admit I was wrong. Please forgive me… ” He wasn’t even listening to me, he was in his DDD…

“Are you done? I have a class to get to.” I just stared at him as he looked at me with cold eyes before walking away and I felt what little strength I had fall away.

“Sae…” Come back…please turn around…but he didn’t. Was this over, did I need a bigger hint than that? I couldn’t breathe and other classmates were looking at me like I was some freak and I ran out of the building and out into the hard cold rain. He wanted nothing to do with me, he didn’t even want to hear me out…I wanted to hide away, I couldn’t take this crushing weight in my chest.

“Kio, wait up!” I felt small arms around my waist and I fell to my knees as I cried in the storm. Ari held my face in her hands, her gentle touch making the pain in my heart more evident, I wasn’t sure I could even stand anymore.

“Let’s get out of here, you don’t need to be there right now and our uniforms are soaked. Come on, you can make it, you can make it Kio.” I felt her try to lift me and I stood with her help and she lead me back to her house about three miles out. We were beyond soaked and freezing when she took the key and unlocked the door, I was in such a haze that I didn’t think about her family until we went inside.

“Is it alright for us to be here?”

“My mother doesn’t leave the bed, and my sisters are in primary school. I could be screaming for my life and she wouldn’t get up…” The sadness in her voice when she said that told me that it had in fact happened to her.

“Ari, I’m so sorry I dragged you into this bullshit…you have your own problems, I should leave.” Her arms went around my waist and she looked up at me with gentle eyes.

“You understand, I always wanted someone who would understand, I would never ask you to leave.” I hugged her close and I began to shiver from the cold.

“Oh no, Ari, you need to get warm, you’re soaked!”

“I will be alright but you have human in you right? You go and take a shower I will turn the heat up.”

“But I don’t have any clothes.”

“As long as you don’t mind a yellow fleece robe you should be okay.” She held up the clothes and I sighed.

“What choice do I have?” I took the robe and took a nice hot shower that took out the chill but not the hurt and I dressed in the robe and a pair of shorts I had found left for me thankfully. I left the bathroom back into her bedroom and I saw her bundled up in bed her hair still a bit damp.

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah, just trying to warm up, you want to join me?”

“No…that’s ok.” She sat up and I saw she was in a t-shirt and sighed in relief.

“I’m dressed Kio, it’s okay, tell you what lay down and I’ll rub your back.” Her bed looked very comfortable and I was exhausted so I lay down on my stomach and she pulled back the robe to reveal my bare back.

“Oh wow…”

“Hmm?”

“These markings…it’s the phoenix right? This is your motif?”

“Yeah, I hadn’t noticed it until a while ago.” Her hands ran down my back and I felt goose bumps all over. She began to dig into my muscles and I relaxed completely, her hands felt so nice.

“Yes I heard stories about it, you had these sexy black wings that looked like smoke and you were so bad ass in that fight against that imposter.”

“Hmph…do you want to see?” I let myself change and spread my wings for her to touch.

“We never get to see your full form…It’s like…they are solid and yet not…they are beautiful and these markings! You are so…gorgeous.” I chuckled lightly as I changed back and she continued.

“Thank you for letting me see.”

“It isn’t a big deal, it’s the least I can do for you being here for me. I’ve been such a horrible friend to you, all I’ve done is bring you in on my own sadness and you had your own things to deal with.”

“I would be lying if I said I didn’t have my own reasons, but in truth, having you around takes my mind off of my own issues. You make me smile, you understand me.” I turned over on my back and the way her eyes traveled along my chest and stomach made my face burn hot.

“Kio…can I be honest with you?”

“I…I suppose so.”

“Satan doesn’t deserve you; if he is willing to play with your heart like this then there is no way he really cares about you. Look at you, you went crawling to him having done nothing wrong and he ignores you like some…jerk. He won’t even tell you if you two are broken up or not! He’s killing you inside because of his jealousy and you don’t deserve that pain.” She lifted my hand and touched my scars; I could feel so much affection and adoration from her that it touched my heart.

“You deserve to never feel pain again.” I sat up on my elbow and I felt my heart slamming in my chest, what is going on right now? Why do I feel this way? I’m already feeling so fragile emotionally, why would she say such things?

“Ari…please don’t do that…I can’t take it.” She leaned closer to me, she smelled like sweet pea and mint, her eyes made me think of a sea of Caribbean waters that seemed to pull me in. Her hand caressed my face and I felt butterflies as my head began to fog, this is dangerous.

“I need to leave… I shouldn’t have come here…”

“Why, so he can hurt you again? I won’t hurt you Kio…let me in.” Her lips pressed against mine and my heart slammed harder as I lifted my hand to stroke her face. I leaned back onto the pillows. She felt…good in my arms and she was so gentle, as though she was afraid I was going to break under her touch. It was like the world had fallen away and we floated into nothingness together.

“Ari…this…we can’t…” before I could even think of how to end the sentence her mouth was on the middle of the left side of my neck and I felt my body jolt and my mind clouded more . How did she know about this spot, only Sae knew about it…

“Does that feel good?” Her hand went up my right side and she caressed the area I had cut over a year ago…it was another sensitive spot that that drove me crazy and made my breath shudder.

“Ari…it…feels good…no, please we-“ Her mouth was back on mine and my hands floated up to her waist and it was then I realized she was only in a t-shirt and underwear.

“I want to make you feel good Kio, I want you to be happy. You can be happy with me, I won’t make you cry, I won’t break your heart.” She started to grind on me and I lost my breath. She felt so good against me, and my mind instantly thought of all the things I could do to her, I wanted to explore every soft curve she had and so much more. I couldn’t hold back my groans as she went at my neck again and I gripped her hips and began to guide them making her cry out in pleasure which only made me want her more.

“You’re already hard honey…you’re even bigger than I thought.” My head fell back and for a moment I sank into the bliss that was this moment.

“Do you want me, do you want to be inside me?” I looked back up at her and my throat went dry. I did, I wanted her and I wanted her bad. But… what the hell was I doing right now, I shouldn’t be here I should be with Sae! And yet I was having such a hard time fighting this, it was like I was sinking and I couldn’t climb out.

“No…Ari…I can’t.” She kissed me again and I noticed that smell again, it was like sweet pea and mint…but she didn’t take a shower and she wasn’t wearing perfume this morning…

“You can’t or you won’t? Tell me what it is you want Kio and I can make it happen, I want to make you smile. Do you want this?” She took me in her hand and began to stroke me and I buried my face in her chest. It smelled so familiar…

“Potions class…”

“What?” I reached up and gripped her firmly around her throat and smelled her again. We made these potions in class, it works as well as any pheromones… times a hundred! She fucking drugged me! I shoved her clear out of the bed and against the dresser making her yell and I scrambled out of bed feeling like a complete ass.

“You think I wouldn’t recognize the smell of the shit we made in class last week?! What the fuck Ari, I thought you cared about me!!” she quickly stood and backed away with tears in her eyes.

“I do, I really do Kio!!”

“Do you realized what you’ve just done?!! Do you realize you just made me cheat on my partner, I just did the very thing he swore I would!! You ruined everything!!”

“If he really loved you then he wouldn’t hurt you like he’s doing, he would have listened to you instead of toying with you like some asshole!” She got up in my face angrily and I shoved her back, completely fed up with her lies.

“SHUT UP, you don’t know anything about him!! You don’t know, you weren’t there!!”

“I know well enough Kio…I care about you, I would never hurt you like that.”

“Said the bitch who drugged me to get in my pants!”

“Would you have wanted me any other way?!! You are so hung up on Satan that you would take whatever abuse he would give you and overlook me, so I had to try!!”

“I thought you were my friend, I told you things, I confided in you!! I fucking trusted you and I even defended you!”

“Kio I love you!” I froze and we stood there panting angrily, I was nowhere near the right mind frame for this.

“What?!”

“I love you…I’ve loved you for a while, but when you told us about you and Satan I didn’t want to get in the way of that…but Kio he’s toying with you and you need to see that. He’s hurting you for his own sake and you deserve better-“

“Shut up, I don’t want to hear it.” I looked over and found my clothes hanging up nearby and snatched them up to put them on even though they were still wet. This hurt worse than what Sae had done earlier; she took advantage of my emotions and used my vulnerability against me.

“Kio please I’m s-” I slapped her hard across the face and she yelled. I instantly felt like garbage but I didn’t have time to dwell on it. She held her cheek painfully with tears in her eyes as she backed away.

“It’s still storming out there.”

“I would rather walk into a hurricane than stay in here with you, don’t ever speak to me again, and stay the hell away from me.” I left as quickly as I could into the cold rain, there was nothing else I could do but go back to the house of lamentation. Sae was right, he was right all along…and I hated myself so much for it.

S

I had heard word that Kio had skipped classes for most of the day and after Ari’s check in this morning I knew where he would be. I was so nervous, why? This was all my fault, I had no right to play with either of them and for what, to prove a point? I was a disgrace. _‘Here, play with this spot here on his neck, he is also sensitive on his side but kiss his neck just right and he’s putty in your hand.’_ I set him up, for that alone he has every right to betray me…and I would have no right to object after the way I treated him, he looked horrible and I turned him away…the last time I let my anger control my emotions with him I nearly lost him. I didn’t deserve Kio.

“He ain’t home yet and no one’s seen him, I wonder where he could be?”

“I don’t know but I’m worried, that storm is awful outside!” At least he was inside and out of this rain.

 _Ring ring…_ My DDD, it must be over by now then.

“Yes Ari.”

“Well I tried…he …didn’t go all the way.”

“He didn’t?”

“No, he snapped out of it and took off like three hours ago.”

“What’s wrong with your voice? Are you alright?”

“Like you give a shit you self-righteous bastard. He is way too good for you, he has a heart you will never deserve, but he loves you, hell knows why.” Oh Kio…

“Just send me the recording, I want to know what happened.”

“Yeah sure, you can take your money back too, I can’t go to school knowing what I’ve done, when others find out-”

“No one is going to find out, keep the money, stay in school and help your family. Just…keep quiet about this alright?”

“He hates me, you win, he never wants to even look at me again.” Normally I would be happy at that…but I didn’t feel the satisfaction.

“I sent the recording, now lose my number and never speak to me again.” She hung up and I heard a ding. I stared at the attachment for several long minutes before hitting play and watching it all go down. Listening to what she said…she was right, I was toying with him and he deserved better, she tried to tell him and he wouldn’t hear it. Why couldn’t I have just trusted him like he asked me to? If he ever found out he would never forgive me.

“Hey Satan, ya hear from Kio, this storm is bad and he ain’t answerin’ his DDD.” Wait, didn’t she say he left three hours ago? Where would he be? I heard the front doors burst open and the sounds of the wind and rain howled violently as my brothers nearly ran to the entrance hall. I froze, how could I possibly look him in the eye now?

“Hey there you are!”

“Hey man where ya been?”

“Holy shit you look terrible!”

“Kiki honey, get in out of the rain come take a warm soak in my tub.”

“Maybe he needs something to eat?”

“Just leave me alone, just don’t touch me!!” I heard his footsteps go up the stairs and slam his room door and my heart twisted. If anyone was going to help him it had to be me, but I wasn’t sure I even deserved to.

K

How could I be so stupid, why did I go to her house; how could I have fallen for that trap?! I was such an idiot and now Sae would never forgive me, how can I possibly stay here now? There was no way I can live here after what I’ve done!

“Yo, Kio man, what is wrong?!”

“Hey why are you packing?!”

“Just leave me alone, I don’t want to be here, I just need to go!”

“But that storm is raging outside!!”

“You’re already soaked you can’t go back out there!”

“I don’t care, I can’t stay here!!” Mammon put his arms around me and held tight.

“Let me go!!”

“Look I dunno what’s goin’ on but ya can’t go back out in that! Tèa would kill me if anything happened to ya and I think of ya as a friend.”

“Yeah man we aren’t letting you go, we can talk it out right here we’re your bandmates.” I tried desperately to break Mammon’s grip but it was obvious that wasn’t happening and I fell into a panic attack.

“Hey come on, breathe!”

“It’s okay!”

“Guys, you need to give us a moment alone.” I heard Sae’s voice and I felt like the air was being choked out of me. Mammon let me go and I fell to my knees I watched their feet disappear and I could hardly make out their muffled voices. Dammit, don’t leave me here with him, anything but that!

“Kio, look at me, you need to breathe.” His voice was soft and patient and his touch was gentle on my face and I backed away from it. I sat on the floor leaning against my bed trying hard to breathe as he looked at me he seemed so sad, it’s like he already knows I betrayed him.

“Baby please.”

“Don’t, don’t call me that! You were right, you were right all along and I was so stupid to think otherwise!” He came closer and sat in front of me with sad eyes and he took my hands in his.

“Is this blood…did you hurt yourself?!”

“It’s nothing okay, I just…” If I could claw myself out of existence I would, but too many people actually give a damn; and I disappointed all of them. He took my jacket off of me and unbuttoned my shirt letting them fall to the floor with a welt plop as he wiped my hair with a towel.

“Stop, I don’t deserve it…”

“Kio…I want to know why you feel that way. Why don’t you deserve simple kindness?” I felt my stomach knot up as he unbuttoned my pants and passed me some pajama pants to change into. I hadn’t felt the cold before but I noticed my body was shivering violently and he lifted me into my bed and wrapped us in a blanket. He held me around my waist and cuddled me close all while I felt like the lowest life form on earth.

“Tell me what happened.” I had no more tears to cry at this point and I shivered against the cold and the fear but he only held me tighter.

“I had been hanging out with Ari…after our fight she has been there to help take my mind off of everything. But all I could think about was you, after…what happened I didn’t want to stay at school and she offered to take me to her place. I had a hot shower and she gave me some dry clothes and we got talking and then…” I didn’t want to go on with this, I felt like my heart was going to give out. Sae rested his forehead against my shoulder so I wouldn’t see his face, he must hate me, why is he still showing me this kindness?

“And then what; just tell me the truth.”

“She kissed me…or maybe I kissed her, I’m not sure. But we…started making out and the next thing I knew she was…”

“What?”

“She had straddled me, she was grinding on me and…well I reacted…”

“Did you sleep with her?”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Did you want to?”

“…yeah…I really did…” it was dead silent for several seconds but he didn’t let me go I felt like dying inside.

“She used some potion, some makeshift pheromones to…get me going…she even knew my favorite spots. You were right, she wasn’t my friend, she only wanted to get in my pants, she didn’t care about me at all.”

“Would you have wanted her if not for that?”

“In the past week, I had gotten to know her more as a person and I began to really like her. I thought she was really there for me, I thought she cared about me. Yeah, I liked her, and I’m not sure if I would have kissed her but I wouldn’t have taken it that far. I wouldn’t have knowingly done that to you…but then…I did anyway…” He was silent and I felt him lift his head a little. This was the part when he says he was right and turns me away, this is when we part ways after all the grief we suffered to be together. I ruined everything.

“If I wasn’t such a bastard to you earlier today when you tried to apologize you would never have been put in that situation. If I was able to trust you…you wouldn’t have sought her friendship to begin with. It’s my fault this happened.”

“No! You did nothing wrong, I should have listened and respected you more, I was so caught up in my own point that I didn’t think of what you were feeling!” I turned to look at him, he was so sad, I hurt him so much!

“Babe…I’m so sorry, I understand if…” He shook his head and caressed my face and I felt my heart break.

“No, I was just as wrong…I should have trusted you. I don’t want to leave you, it wouldn’t make sense to split if we were both at fault. Hell…I feel I’m more at fault, at least you came to your senses and got out of there, I refused to listen to you. I would understand if you never forgive me.” How could he possibly say that, I was the one that betrayed him and he blamed himself?!

“There is nothing to forgive Babe.” He nuzzled me close and I reached up to touch his face as he kissed my cheek.

“Then there is nothing for me to forgive either.”

“Just like that?”

“Shhh, let’s just put it behind us okay?” He laid me back and cuddled me close and I finally started to feel a bit warm again.

“I’ll never speak to her again, I don’t want anything to do with her.”

“I think that’s for the best for both of us.” I sighed and relaxed in his arms, was it possible that we would be okay, was everything really going to get better? I clung to that hope, maybe, just maybe I could put this behind us and be okay. I just had to be more wary of who I keep around me from now on.


	5. The Consequences begin to pile

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thought the two want to desperately to put the past behind them, the effects of the drugs are far from wearing off and an afternoon of intimacy turns into a harrowing experience

Chapter 5

K

Things have changed a lot since that day, I put my foot down and the Kiostans are not allowed to have any contact with me unless in class when we have to. I don’t socialize too much anymore mostly because I’m afraid of being used again, and I want desperately to show Sae that he can trust me. I sat in Demonic history writing notes trying not to look at Simi who had tried to talk to me several times over the week. I didn’t want to talk to her or anyone, I felt like if I didn’t lock myself away someone would hurt me again. I couldn’t handle it, I was happy before that whole mess started and I wanted to get back to it.

“Friend, I know you are ignoring me, but do you mind telling me why?” I refused to look at her, for all I know she wanted to sleep with me too, I was in a happy relationship, I wasn’t about to ruin it when I had gotten a second chance.

“Kio, why are you being so cold? This isn’t you at all, what happened to the happy bubbly guy we all love?” Especially when my mind keeps being invaded by these intrusive thoughts.

“Hellooo? Friend? Ok, you asked for it.” I was hit in the side of the face with a paper ball and I looked over to Simi who looked at me with pursed lips.

“Oh, hello, nice to see you today.”

“I’m trying to study.”

“You are trying to avoid everyone, that has always been your choice but something is wrong with you.”

“Nothing is wrong, I needed space from you guys that’s all.”

“But we were always able to talk, I thought we were friends.”

“Yeah, I thought so too…”

“What does that mean?”

“It means I should have put more space between us earlier, nothing more.” Ever since that day…I can’t stop thinking about that one damn moment of weakness…

“But we are friends Kio, I told you before that I’m not going to betray you. Did something happen, Ari hasn’t been herself either.”

“Nothing happened, I just don’t want to make Sae angry at me.”

“You are shutting yourself down, you’re not your usual self and everyone sees it. If you had to make a change then that is fine, but don’t change who you are as a person! You’ve always been so kind and compassionate and most of all approachable, if you lose that part of yourself then who are you? And would Satan really like it if you changed who you were when that’s who he fell in love with in the first place?” She was right, she was right of course but she didn’t know that every time I smell anything with sweet pea I think of that moment, and when I think of that moment…

_Do you want me, do you want to be inside me?_

I get really aroused, one doesn’t realize how many girls wear flowery perfume until it has an effect on you. If I hadn’t recognized the smell and gotten so angry over what she had done I would have gone all the way with her, but it doesn’t discredit the fact that I had wanted to, it makes me all the more angry at it and of course Kara who sits in front of me and is wearing that flowery scent today.

“Kio, are you alright what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I’m just feeling the effects of classical conditioning is all.”

“What?”

“I have to go.” I left everything and went to the bathroom and closed the stall hoping the fresh air would help me. I can’t grow flowers for shit but I would inherit my father’s sense of smell dammit.

_I won’t hurt you, I want to make you feel good. Do you like that?_

Something is wrong, that damn potion, the teacher said there shouldn’t be lasting effects when it was used right? Damn…remember…

_You’re already hard; you’re even bigger than I thought._

No not that, the damn class!! What did Miss Wren say??

_I must advise you class that you do be careful when preparing this potion. If you choose to use it the wearer will be unaffected but the other will have effects for up to a month, exactly what type depends on the demon. They could be infatuated with the wearer for years or maybe stay in a state of arousal in general. For those purposes I must collect them after class and warn you not to make them without proper supervision._

I associate the smell of sweet pea with…and that’s all it takes…this is embarrassing! What makes it worse is that Sae and I haven’t been intimate in weeks, not since the jealousy thing started. And I feel too much like a sleazy horny bastard to ask that of him…but I was going insane!

The door to the bathroom opened and I quieted my breathing, hoping they would just wash their hands and leave when I caught a familiar scent…speak of the devil.

“S..Sae?” I saw through the slit that he stopped washing his hands and turned toward me.

“Hey, what are you doing in here?” I opened the door and approached him, breathing in his smell trying to rid my mind of anything to do with her.

“You look flush, are you okay? You’re really warm.” Oh I was hot, I was really hot, I leaned farther into him, resting my hands on the sink behind him and buried my faced in his neck before licking it.

“K-Kio! Not here, what is the matter with you?” Get it together…just tell him what’s going on.

“That potion she used…the Firecat pheromone replicate…”

“Oh…I see, we made that one in class too, there is a reason it’s confiscated after. You haven’t been this way earlier this week.

“Girl in class was wearing a sweet pea spritz… I came here to…get some air.” I put my arm around him and pulled him flush against me trying hard to resist the urge to bite on him.

“This could go on for another few weeks without an antidote, I will look one up for you okay?” He leaned back to look at me and all I could think about was kissing him.

“Your eyes…they’re a shade of violet. This was some potent stuff and you still managed to stop and get out of there…” he touched me tenderly and I took his mouth to mine.

“I told you, you’re the one I want…and I want you…” I reached for his belt and he took my hands and kissed me again.

“We can’t, not here, you know that. Can you wait until after school?” I wasn’t sure, my body felt like it was on fire, it was one thing if I could stay in that stall and try to avert my thoughts, but turning my desires onto my partner instead, knowing that was okay made me want to lose control.

“I can try…Babe…can I maybe, have you for a change?” His eyes widened and he took a step back to gauge my seriousness. Normally he was the dominant one in bed and I didn’t mind it but there were plenty of times I wanted to turn the tables and with this burning I wasn’t about to be shy about it.

“If that is what you want, sure, I can do that for you. I think the change of pace would be good for both of us.” I tasted his mouth again just as the door opened and other students entered. I backed away feeling frustrated and pent up.

“Be patient, after school I will take care of you. I promise.” I nodded and left with him before we parted ways again, I had to get under control think of this weeks’ test not my urges! At least I wasn’t thinking of her anymore.

S

“This is all my fault and it seems the consequences are piling up by the day…” I muttered to myself as I looked up the antidote for this potion. It didn’t seem like it would be too difficult to make, I just needed three frog eyes, a dried rats tail and…sweet pea essence. Of all things to use for the antidote it would be the smell that sets him off. In any case I couldn’t complain, at least it seems he’s turned his focus onto me instead of feeling ashamed of himself for something I had a major part in. Getting this antidote would be one step closer to putting this mess behind us. I just hoped he would be alright, classes were almost over but I had a council meeting to attend…damn, maybe Diavolo would let me skip, it’s the same bullshit every week anyway. I had to get these items and cook them over an open flame for twenty minutes while it liquefies while I say the spell…good and simple.

“Satan, I thought I would find you here, I wanted to remind you about today’s meeting.”

“About that Diavolo, I am going have to sit out, I have something I need to do.”

“Well I cannot have that, with Lucifer gone you have to handle the reports, and this is the meeting that we decide the next venue for the school social.”

“He literally comes back tonight can’t we postpone the meeting until then?”

“I’m sorry, but we can’t, is there something wrong?” Yeah, I messed up and I need a chance to fix it.

“Kiomè…he isn’t well, I wanted to take care of him.”

“Oh is that so? I hadn’t seen him all week and Barbatos says he’s a lot more closed off than normal.” I wonder why.

“There is something wrong and he needs me, so please can I sit this meeting out?” He looked down as he thought about it but sighed as he patted my shoulder.

“You know I care about him too but this meeting is way too important, you have to handle things while Lucifer and Jetèa are gone and we need you for this. If Lucifer were here I would gladly let you have it off.”

“Even when he isn’t around he pisses me off…”

“What’s that now?”

“Nothing, I’ll be in the meeting.” He looked at me for a moment before he nodded and left. This was going to be interesting, but as long as he doesn’t smell any sweet pea he should be fine, he’s handled himself all week, how bad could he be?

K

Today was a student council evening which meant I had the whole house to myself for a couple of hours, thankfully I was able to calm down shortly after leaving Sae but I couldn’t go back into that classroom. The only way I managed to not smell anything else was to only breathe through my mouth which was awkward enough to explain. At least now I could be alone and study…which sucked because it’s more fun with someone else.

“Princess, Duchess you will sit and study with me won’t you?” The cats purred and rubbed my legs as I grabbed the book and went to my room. This seemed like I was in for a boring few hours but it was just what I needed, I had to keep focused on what was important and I would be okay.

_Ring ring…_

What is going on now?

“Yeah?”

“Kio, how are you doing?”

“I’m emotionally dead and I’m slowly sinking into a dark void of emptiness with nothing to look forward to but the drollness of life and it’s sick humor.”

“What subject?”

“Chemistry.”

“Ugh my condolences.”

“What’s up Sis?”

“I just wanted to check up on you, I haven’t heard word in over a week and I figured it wither meant all is well or the house is burnt to cinders.”

“Geez, you have no faith in us do you?”

“I’m sorry, do we not know our housemates?”

“Granted, I’m all by myself, the guys are in a student council meeting.”

“You’re alone, none of your fan club is helping you study?”

“No, I put my foot down we don’t have contact unless it’s in class.”

“Wow, why the change?”

“It just needed to be done.” It was silent for a moment, she was thinking, I know it.

“Is everything okay?”

“Of course, why wouldn’t it be?”

“It’s just since you’ve made friends you are rarely alone.”

“I needed a change Tèa, don’t overthink it.”

“Did something happen?”

“I said drop it alright?!” Damn why does she always have to pry like that?!

“Okay, well we will be home this evening, you won’t have to worry about having to make extra for dinner since we will grab something on the way.”

“Alright sure, tell Lucifer they all made it to the meeting, I’m sure that’s why you called.”

“Kio, of course not, I was just thinking of you and I wanted to hear your voice.”

“Well I don’t need you to keep an eye on me all the damn time, I’m nineteen I don’t need a babysitter!”

“What has gotten into you? You’re acting like a child!”

“I’m acting like a child huh? Well good, you can report that to mother and she’ll sort me out like always!!” I hung up and threw my device, why was she so damn nosy, why did she have to go there?! Now I was in a shitty mood, studying is going to be hell.

S

“And so with this month’s sales increase we will be able to cover the expenses for the festivities. I have located a venue in Pitch Park, I think the outdoors will be a good change of pace and it will leave more money for the food and games.” I gave the report and handed out the documents needed for this stupid dance party that no one cared about, I needed to get out of here to make this antidote for Kio. I was able to find the ingredients just fine thankfully the potions class had things to spare He might be home by now, but I needed to cure him so that he can get past this …so we can get past this. He is suffering and it is all my fault.

“Very good, I think that park would be a good place to have a party don’t you think? Maybe we can have games and make a time of it?” The others nodded and rolled their eyes as they normally would, no one really cared, in the end Diavolo just does as he pleases.

“Hey, what if the band played at the party as well, I would pay you all of course, I think that will lift the school moral. And I love listening to you guys.”

“Now that’s what I’m talkin’ about, let’s get paid!”

“This thing won’t be so bad after all.”

“I can get a link up for a live stream and make back the revenue we lost for the anniversary concert. We would have to cut the price and give those who had bought tickets for the last event free access but it would save our image pretty well.”

“So you guys are okay with that?” I turned to Diavolo and nodded, I would have to talk to Kio about it but I know we have other matters to figure out.

“Good, then we will adjourn and Asmo I will need the minutes for todays’ meeting by tomorrow.”

“Ugh…when is Jetèa getting back?” The others chatted but I grabbed my bag and nearly ran out of there, I had to get back to him and make him better. I called him as I ran but he didn’t answer, I called again and again but nothing. He always answers my calls, something must be wrong with him, I had to get home quickly. I wasn’t focusing on where I was going and tripped, dropping my bag and scraping my hand. I got up quickly and tried to call again, but once again he didn’t answer.

“Dammit…what are you doing?!” I nearly limped back to the house and up to his room where I pounded on the door.

“Kio open the door!” he opened it within seconds and I barged in grabbing him by his shirt and tossed my bag to the side.

“Why didn’t you answer your DDD, I’ve been worried sick about you and you’re just sitting around ignoring me!” Why was I yelling at him, this was my fault and I wasn’t making it better.

“Take it easy, I was just studying, Tèa called me earlier and pissed me off and I thought it was her calling me back. I’m sorry…” I took a breath and caressed his face.

“No…I’m sorry, I was worried and I got mad…” He looked at me deeply and leaned closer to my face, his cheeks turning red under my touch.

“When is my Angrybird not having a fit hmm? At least I get to see that face when you pout…so damn sexy…” He kissed me, nibbling my lip as he pulled me closer. His hands were quickly all over me and I had to push him back just to be able to breathe.

“Kio…what is going on with you?” He was panting and he looked feverish, he shook his head and backed up.

“I…I don’t know, it’s like I’m on fire…” He looked over to my bag and I could smell the faint flowery smell of sweet pea.

“Oh no, I think the vial broke when I tripped, I was going to make the antidote…” I wasn’t sure he could even hear me, his eyes were glazed and taking on a slight violet tint. Even if I got him out of this room or opened a window, even I was being overpowered by the sweet smell and his nose was keener.

“Sae…”I backed up and shut his door, making sure to lock it, this was also my fault and I promised to take care of him.

“You want me Kio?” He closed the distance touching my face gently before lowering his hands to my shoulders, his kisses were so gentle they took my breath away, even when I could practically feel his urgency he was thinking of me. I didn’t deserve him.

K

I felt like I was on fire, and he stood there against the door, his gorgeous golden hair a mess and his eyes so patient and yet they looked so sad. If I hadn’t put myself in that situation I wouldn’t be here cornering him about to lose control. He was so patient with me. I caressed his face, feeling his lips with my thumb as I looked in his eyes, relishing in his closeness.

“Yes…I want you so bad…I have to have you.” He lifted his hand and unbuttoned his jacket, letting it fall to the floor and I watched intently as he loosened his tie and began to unbutton his shirt before he let it fall as well. I looked over his fit body and my hand shook as I ran it along his abs, I was trying so hard to hold back but his eyes urged me on. I felt so nervous, I thought I was going to lose control and I wasn’t sure what I would do if that happened. He took my hand and began to lead me to my bed, my heart pounded and I began to feel dizzy as he laid back and reached for me.

“It’s alright Kio, come here.” I pulled off my shirt and lowered onto the bed over him. I kissed him and I burned hotter, I felt his hands along my back and I took my free hand to unfasten his pants.

“Are you sure, is this okay?” I had put him through so much lately and he was only allowing this because I was under the influence. I didn’t deserve him at all.

“Yes Kio, it’s okay, I want you too. I’ve been horrible to you, it’s my fault you’re in this situation and I want to help you.” He helped me pull his pants off, his eyes sad yet passionate, my emerald fire that pulled me in like a moth.

“I don’t want you to blame yourself, I want to love you and you me like we had before this mess. I don’t want you to think of this as something I have to do, because I want to. I love you Kio…and I want to love you for the rest of my life.” What self-control I had melted and tears pricked my eyes and I felt him pull me free.

“I love you too Sae…I want to be with you, only you, for the rest of my life.” He kept eye contact with me as I entered him and I felt like I was going to get faint. He felt so good, and he looked at me with such love and passion that I let myself go. I began to move and he quickly started to whimper in ecstasy. The more he moaned the rougher I got, the more I burned inside.

“Oh Babe…you’re so hot, you feel so good. Oh shit…I can’t…I can’t take it…” He was so flush and he was moaning so loudly, was this why he loved it, did I look so adorable when I was under him? I bit into his neck and he raked my back, pulling me deeper into him.

“K-Kio…I want more of you, I want to be one you…your soul…oh baby you’re so beautiful. I never want to let you go, I need you…” He was raking my back so hard I thought I would bleed but it only boosted my ego. I leaned back and stroked him which made him arch his back. I used my other hand to caress along his body and I saw before my eyes as he changed to his demon form. I watched in awe as he looked at me with glazed green eyes, his fangs dripping with drool as he panted. He was loving this, he was so emotional that he changed and this touched me so much that I changed myself and I went at a much rougher pace.

“Babe, you are so sexy, you feel so…damn good!” I felt his tail slide around my throat and begin to choke me slightly and I knew he was getting close. He loved watching my soul when I came and he knew choking me would get me there.

“You ready for me Babe…you want me to come?” He was letting out low growls, his claws tore the sheets before reaching up to pull me closer.

“You’re so pretty…let me see that beautiful gold…please come for me…” I reached down to stroke him again and I saw his eyes cloud as he gasped.

“Come with me, come with me Babe.” I kissed him and I climbed ever higher and then it was like a jolt and I exploded into him, and it felt so overwhelming that I felt a pain in my chest and my ears began to ring. It took several seconds to catch my breath and the ringing intensified as I sat up and my chest began to burn so intensely that I couldn’t breathe. My vision began to blur and I knew something wasn’t right. What’s going on, why am I in pain? I looked down and saw that my chest was bleeding and the area burned like hell. I began to feel dizzy and it was getting hard to breath. I needed help and fast, I knew well enough that I was starting anaphylaxis and if I didn’t get help soon I would be in real trouble. I reached for Sae, not sure if he was even looking at me or not because I couldn’t see, my vision was so blurred that even the colors merged together. I tried to speak to him but I couldn’t get the words out, and it was so painful to breath. I felt the world tilt before my vision went black and I never felt so afraid.

S

“Come with me, come with me Babe.” I had never felt like this before, the way he put his hands on me, the way he moved excited every nerve and I could tell he was truly making love to me. He loved me despite the atrocities I put him through and I knew no one would ever love me like that again. I was so lucky to have him, he took me to so many highs and this was going to be no different. I was so close and seeing that beautiful soul of his glow would let me know that this could finally be over, that we could be okay again for real.

I felt him come inside me, and the light of his soul filled my eyes and I erupted in the midst of my trance, it was like swimming through stars and I was lost in space. It took a little bit to come out of it and I felt Kio’s hands on me and I looked up at him thinking he wanted to cuddle; I would cuddle him for years after that. But when I focused on his face I noticed the fear in his eyes and sat up right as he fell over and out of the bed.

“KIO?!!” I was at his side in an instant and I saw the blood spread along his chest. I touched it and found the wound that looked too deep and I began to panic.

“Kio, can you hear me, what happened?!!” I looked over and found the blood on the tip of my tail and realized what had happened. I had stabbed him with my tail, I didn’t pay attention to what I was doing in the heat of the moment and I hurt him yet again. I checked his vitals, his heart was beating erratically and his breathing was strained. I quickly pulled on my pants and covered him up before opening the door.

“SOMEBODY HELP ME PLEASE, KIO’S HURT!!” I put a pillow under his head as his breathing began to stop and he turned pale.

“Come on baby, stay with me okay, you’re going to be okay! You are going to be alright, I’m not going to let you leave me do you understand?!” He didn’t respond and I held him close checking his vitals every few seconds as I heard my brothers footsteps.

“Holy shit what happened?!”

“Is he okay?!” Just behind the others I saw Jetèa and Lucifer shove to the front and his sisters eyes widened in fear as she rushed to his side.

“Satan what happened here?” I didn’t even want to look up at Lucifer, his voice sounded so accusing.

“I stung him with my tail…”

“He’s going through anaphylaxis, Mammon give me that glass your holding, Lucifer give me your pen, now!!” Mammon handed over his drink and she dabbed her sleeve in the alcohol and rubbed the base of his throat.

“Lucifer, your pen!!” He tossed it and she stabbed him right in the area and took the pen apart leaving the tube for him to breathe with.

“Come on baby brother, breathe for me, it’s okay…” His chest began to rise and fall slowly and I felt the relief wave over me for just a moment.

“Come on, we have to get him to the hospital right now!”

“Wait look…” we saw the hole in his chest begin to slowly close and the others sighed in relief.

“He’s healing on his own…”

“Good, I want him to get checked over right away regardless.”

“You guys haven’t been home five minutes, we can take him.”

“So I can worry sick? No, I’m staying with my brother.”

“Of course I will go, someone will need to take care of the forms and you’re shaking like a leaf Tèa.” Everyone talked around me about him and not one time did they ask if I was alright, but in truth I didn’t want them to ask that, because I was so far from it. I watched them pick him up and take him away but I stayed on that blood stained floor hugging myself as I thought of what brought us to this moment. If I could just get a handle on myself before, if I could have controlled my anger better he wouldn’t have almost died…I had only wanted an intimate moment with him, a chance to erase the tension and bitter guilt that weighed on us both but it seems that I am not done receiving my share of the pie that is culpability. While my partner suffers at my hand yet again I have no choice but to sit here alone with my fork and choke down every bite.


	6. A Constant Reminder is Born

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guilt is felt on both sides and the two are willing to put the past behind them in order to keep their relationship in good spirits again, however it is about to get much harder to forget it all.

Chapter 6

S

“You keep saying that Satan, but I’m having a hard time understanding how this could have happened. Why did you sting him with your tail, I’ve never even known you to use it like that before, did the two of you have a fight or something?” It was bad enough I made Kio suffer at my hand yet again, but having Lucifer grill me was the icing on the cake.

“I told you, it was an accident, I wouldn’t do something like that on purpose!” I rose from the chair to leave his study already too angry to say another word. How could I have been so stupid, how could I have let all of this happen?!

“Satan wait!” His hand was on my shoulder and I turned on him, shoving him away.

“What is it you want me to say Lucifer, that I fucked up, that I really hurt him, that he almost died? I KNOW THAT!! I wasn’t thinking and it was stupid, it was an accident and he could have died!”

“I know you didn’t mean it…I just wanted to understand how all of this happened so we don’t repeat it.” He looked at me sadly, but I didn’t want his pity, I didn’t deserve anything but this crushing guilt.

“Believe me…if I could go back and do it all over again…I would.” I didn’t sleep at all that night, I spent it making the antidote for Kio and trying to scrub his blood from the carpet. Everyone says that it’s gone but every time I look at that spot I see it…the crimson mark of my sin stained against the love I was supposed to cherish…it reminded me of the human story of the man who murdered another and hid him under the floorboards, only his heartbeat echoed in his mind. What could be seen as mere psychosis was really the personification of the man’s guilt, guilt bent on driving him mad and destroying his mind until he had given his pound of flesh. I had come to believe that this stain was my telltale heart, the stark reminder that I have yet to give my penance for my crime. 

However if I fall to my knees and repent, tell him of my wrongdoing, would he forgive me? Would he look at me with those soft hazel eyes and assure me that though I was wrong, that we could be alright again? Even if he did…even if he smiled and said all was well it would only prove the point that I do not deserve him. I paid a girl thirty thousand grimm to trick my partner into cheating on me…I forced the hand of a woman living in near poverty, because of the methods she used I nearly killed him. The more I try to mend us the more I tear him down, I could only wonder what will happen from this incident.

“You are going to make yourself sick with those chemicals.” I wonder how long she was watching behind me, I didn’t even have the energy to turn around and face her, I wouldn’t be able to look her in the eye anyway.

“I’m a demon, I’ll be fine.”

“Even as a demon breathing that in all night long is bound to have ill effects on you. The stain has been gone for a while and you keep at it…what is going on Satan, you can talk to me.”

“How is he?”

“I keep telling you to see for yourself, he’s been home since three this morning, he’s still asleep but the doctor said that since he repaired the damages on his own that there wasn’t much he needed to do once his heart started beating normally again.”

“I pierced his heart…I didn’t even know I was venomous…”

“Well this is how these things are discovered you know.” She knelt beside me and placed her hands on mine to stop me from scrubbing. She looked at me with olive eyes that read well into a person’s mind and heart; I loved her once though she would never return those feelings, in truth I believe I would have ruined her just like I’m doing her brother.

“I took my anger and insecurities out on my little brother for years and it took many more for him to finally forgive me. You on the other hand…” She took the brush from my hand and made me look at her as she spoke.

“You aren’t abusing him in any way, you have done nothing wrong towards my brother and he knows that, he will be fine, and he will forgive you. You have my word on that.” If only she knew what I had done, then she would understand why I cannot rest until this blood is gone.

“Go talk to him, he needs to eat something anyway.” She stood to leave and I forced myself not to look at the stain; he needed the antidote anyway, and if he needed to eat then I would prepare him some soup. I had to do something, I wasn’t sure how much more of this I could take.

K

I opened my eyes to see this blinding light that made me turn my head, I was so groggy and my body wouldn’t move without a lot of effort. What happened, my head was pounding…

“Oh, you’re awake…good.” Sae walked in with a tray and I sat it on the nightstand. I saw he had brought me a bowl of soup and a small vial of liquid.

“Mmph…I’ve heard of rough sex, but I was never one to be that kinky.”

“Always joking, such a smartass… he wrapped his arms around me to help me sit up but I noticed he was hiding his face from me. He sat at my bedside and opened the vial before turning toward me.

“Here, it’s the antidote.” I tried to lift my hand but it felt really heavy so he put it to my lips for me to drink.

“It tastes horrible.”

“I know, at least there is only one dose, and that ordeal will finally be behind us.” He looked so sad as he said that and I felt such a wave of guilt.

“I’m sorry Sae, I feel like I keep messing things up for you at every turn. I wish I could go back and change everything…I never should have let them get close to me.” He looked at me shocked and shook his head as his eyes filled with tears.

“No…you are just a kind and friendly person, you truly felt they were your friends and maybe most of them were. I was the one who couldn’t handle seeing you happy with anyone else, I couldn’t get my jealousy under control and when you didn’t listen to my stupid demands I got angry…this is my fault.” He grabbed the bowl with shaky hands and blew on the spoon to cool it before feeding me.

“What exactly happened to me?” He stopped for a moment and looked down before he sighed, I could feel so much sadness and guilt from him that it hurt, he shouldn’t have to feel like this because of me.

“I…apparently have venom in the tip of my tail…when we…I accidentally stung you, I pierced your heart…and you had an allergic reaction.”

“Ohh…” He fed me another spoonful and I saw the flash of pain, why are you so sad?

“I was told that it was a cytotoxic reaction, it would have only effected the area , except they were worried that because you received it…in your heart, that it would have spread and ultimately killed you. If Jetèa hadn’t given you a tracheotomy you would have died.”

“But I’m in the attic, not the hospital, so I’m in the clear right?”

“Yeah I suppose, they did give you a sedative so you would heal and work it out of your system but other than that you were doing better by the time you arrived at the hospital.”

“Then everything is fine, you can stop being all worried.”

“You don’t understand.”

“It was an accident, we both know that, I hold no grudges and if I did die I would only come back to tell you just that.”

“How can you just dismiss this so easily??” I forced my arm up to grab him and he curled up beside me, resting his head on my chest. He was listening to my heart, the very heart he had stabbed, he felt so guilty.

“I said you were the one I wanted to give my heart to, I said that I love you. That means that despite these mishaps and accidents I see who you are as a person. I see your faults as well as your good points and I love it all, you said the same thing about me, I remember it clearly. I love you Sae…and that means taking the bad and the good too. But you also have to know the difference between the bad and simple bad luck.” He wrapped his arms around me and buried his face in my chest, I never want him to hurt like this again, this has to be put behind us.

“Let’s put all of this mess and leave it in the past once and for all okay? We don’t need to dwell on it, we don’t need to think about it, we had a rough few weeks but we are still here and we are stronger for it. I don’t want either of us to linger in this sadness anymore.” He lifted his head and looked at me deeply and I leaned my head to kiss him. He kissed me so intently that he seemed almost desperate.

“I want to forget, I want to forget this whole thing ever happened.”

“What thing?”

“Ha…smartass, I love you so much.” We would be alright, I know it, we have gotten through worse messes than this and I was certain that if he was so willing to forgive me, then I would do what I can to make sure he didn’t feel an ounce of guilt for this ever again.

S

“Alright so here is where we are going to set up the stage and then we will have the games and snack stands over here, the dancing will be in the center and there will be crafts and ice breakers over here. We have the whole park for this, we may as well utilize it.” I went over the plans of the school social and for the first time it was something I had grown to become excited about. Kio and I were back to normal and it had been about three weeks since the incident. I was finally able to breathe, it was possible that it was all over.

“These plans look very impressive and I like the way you organized the stands so that there would be adequate spacing. Well done.” It wasn’t often Lucifer would hand out a compliment but even he could admit I was on a roll.

“Yes I like this a lot, I think Asmo and I could take charge of the decorations, Levi and Mammon can take charge of the food, Belphie and Beel can get the music together for the intermissions and Lucifer can Emcee at the beginning of the celebration?”

“I think that would be fine.”

“But what will Satan do?”

“I will be in charge of the booths, there are many that can be reused from previous events but there are still some that need to be built.” We all nodded our agreement and quickly adjourned having gained a lot of progress. I felt like a weight was lifted lately, I felt like there was a lot I could accomplish.

“Hey how was the meeting?” Kio stood outside the council hall with a smile, but instantly I noticed that something was far from right.

“You waited for me? How long have you been out here?”

“I had done some studying after class and saw I still had time to meet you, I wanted to walk you home.” He looked really pale and exhausted.

“Kio…you don’t look very well.” He shivered a little but shook his head.

“I’m okay really, I just fell asleep at my desk is all, I’m really tired…” there it was, he clutched at his chest for just a moment and panted. It happened so fast that if I was looking away at that moment I would never have known. I stopped walking and put my hand to his forehead, he was clammy and cold.

“Are you having chest pains?”

“It feels really tight at times, I figured my body is just trying to sort this stuff out still. It will go away though…it…” His legs buckled and I caught him before he could fall. This didn’t make any sense, if he was going to succumb to the venom he would have weeks ago. Why is he having so much trouble?

“You are not walking, I should take you to the hospital right now.”

“No, it isn’t that serious, I just need to lay down is all…” he went limp and I put him on my back, I had no idea what to do, if it was a false alarm it would be one thing but I didn’t like the idea of him being in danger and I not do anything. I decided to take him home and lay him in his bed, i listened to his heart and it was strong and yet…it sounded like he had a slight murmur. This was so strange, I will get to the bottom of it though.

“Stay here and sleep I will find out what to do okay?”

“I’m fine Sae, I’m just really tired…I’ll be up and ready to go in a couple hours.” He began to drift off and I kissed his forehead. Just when things were back to normal we have more to deal with.

K

I couldn’t worry him, this was probably nothing, a side effect of the venom leaving my body. I had to lie about the pain I had been feeling in my chest, and the fact that I had passed out in the classroom and that was why I was still at RAD. He was looking so happy lately and I couldn’t drag him down yet again.

“I will be right back, I am going to call the doctor to get his advice, just stay here.” He left and I sighed, here I go again, ruining his good mood; but even still something was definitely wrong. I kept my breathing slow and steady but even now there was a tightening in my chest again that felt like a knife being twisted. I tried to keep my breathing even, keep oxygen in my body because getting excited would only make it worse. And then it happened, a pain so sharp and so overwhelming I couldn’t help but scream. It was like my heart was being ripped apart from the inside and this time it wasn’t going away. I felt hands on me within what felt like hours and I fought the contact, every moment made it worse, every beat of my heart made me feel like I was dying.

“Kio, tell me what’s wrong, what is it?!” I could hardly breathe but I had to, I had to keep breathing, I had to keep conscious though I wanted to pass out so much. I was afraid if I did I would never wake up.

“Hurts…it…hurts…it hurts!” I grabbed at my chest wishing that I could just rip out whatever was causing this, I couldn’t breathe and I was dizzy from pain. Sae was trying to comfort me but nothing he tried made me think of anything other than my heart tearing to shreds.

“Yes hello, he’s having severe chest pain, I don’t know what’s going on. This started maybe two minutes ago, right when I called you!” Two minutes…it had only been two minutes?! On top of it all I was feeling extremely nauseous and I didn’t have a bit of strength to hold it back. My body heaved until there was nothing left and when I opened my eyes I saw the deep red mess all over the floor and my hands.

“…internal bleeding…he has internal bleeding! Yes, I’ll get him there as soon as possible, okay thank you!” it was ten miles to the hospital, if I felt like this after two minutes I wouldn’t know what to do for that long painful trip.

S

“Come on Kio we have to go!” I tried to grab him but he fought my touch, he couldn’t stop screaming, he was miserable and it seemed that just touching him made it worse.

“I…can’t…no, stop!!” He wouldn’t let me near him, he started clawing at his chest crying and screaming painfully as I watched him helpless. Seeing the mess on the floor and the state he was in make my stomach twist, if he’s bleeding internally then he has less time than I had hoped.

“Kio please, I have to get you to the hospital, let me help you! Stop fighting me!!” I grabbed him and pulled him into my arms making him cry out in pain and curl tightly. He was pale as a ghost and sweating profusely, I should have taken him straight there! I lifted him and began to carry him out of the house, it was then I realized that the others would be home soon and need to know what was going on, but I didn’t have time for more phone calls, I had to get him help. I ran with him on my back, I knew I was faster than most but it seemed to take an eternity to get anywhere to me. I kept going, willing myself forward, go faster, go faster! I just had to get him to Dr. Namtar, he’s expecting us and they will know what to do. Not even at the five mile mark his yells peaked again and he tried to flail out of my arms but I held on as best I could until he vomited again all over my shoulder. I had to stop and let him down if only to assess his current condition. His eyes were clouded and all color was gone, if it weren’t for his rapid panting and excruciating screams I would swear he was dead. He felt so cold, he must have lost a liter of blood by now, if I didn’t hurry…

“Come on, we are almost there, we’re going to get you help baby.”

“No…no…no…no more…please!!” I pulled him into my arms and cradled him I never wanted to see this kind of misery on his face.

“I’m sorry, we have to go, we are almost there I promise!”

“No more…please…kill me…please, just let me die!” my own heart stopped and I flashed back to the last time he asked this of me, he was exhausted and in pain then as well. I looked in his eyes and he was so scared, he whimpered like a little child, he was so cruel to ask this of me.

“You know I can’t do that…”

“It hurts…please…it hurts, let me die, please kill me!” He is suffering that much…and I knew for a fact that this was my fault! I looked around to make sure no one was looking and I kissed his bloody mouth as he cried.

“You want the pain to end my love?”

“Y-yes…please…” tears fell from my own eyes as I nodded in compliance.

“Okay…” I lifted him to a sitting position and without hesitation struck him in the back of the head, knocking him out. I pulled him onto my back once again and took off down the trail with him now dead weight but alive and no longer in pain. I was not going to let my mistakes kill you Kio, I’ll die before I do that.

~ ~

It wasn’t long before everyone else had filed into the hospital as well as I paced in the waiting room trying not to let the worry show on my face, but if the blood all over my clothes were any indicator I was sure they knew how serious this was. We all waited for hours as the doctor worked on him and we received no word as to what his condition was.

“Oi, stop pacin’ like that or ya gonna give yourself a heart attack.”

“Yes, come and sit down Satan, there is nothing we can do at this point.”

“I’m fine, I’ll be okay….just leave me alone!”

“Come and read a book or a magazine at least.”

“I don’t want to read! I don’t want to sit, I don’t want any of you to bother me alright?!” Jetèa hugged me and I felt so close to tears again, I can’t fall apart, I wasn’t allowed that luxury.

“Are you all with the patient?” All of us stood as Doctor Namtar came forward flicking his green ponytail behind his back as he clicked his pen.

“Yes, we are his family!”

“Well only five of you can come back but be quiet.” Lucifer, Jetèa, Mammon, Belphie and I filed behind him silently as he spoke I hung on every word hoping beyond hope that all would be okay.

“Well he is alive, he is an amazing patient, I would be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy working on him every time he showed up here. The way his body works is pretty amazing, his major vitals heal on their own and when I checked him last he seemed to be good to go. But now I know that it was a major mistake on my part.” He opened the double doors that lead to the row of beds for those patients in recovery. I saw Kio in the first bed hooked to an IV and I breathed the biggest sigh of relief I had ever made. I rushed to his bedside and saw that he was breathing normally, his color had returned and best of all the monitor showed he had a strong heartbeat.

“Doctor you said not checking him over was your mistake, why?” Lucifer crossed his arms with a look of scrutiny and we all turned to the doctor who sighed and clicked his pen.

“Like I said, Kiomè is a very special patient, any major injuries to his vitals repair on their own at a rate I have never seen. When he came here a few weeks ago I had taken a sample of the damaged heart before it could regenerate and I saw that the venom had completely broken down the cells, liquefying them, but his heart did regenerate and became whole again. It not only healed but beat strong so after seeing his vitals being good I cleared him. But I studied the sample and I noticed something…odd.” A soft groan filled the silence and I looked down to see him looking up at me a soft smile on his face.

“I had the shittiest dream…hmmph…well I guess it wasn’t huh?” I petted his hair and Jetèa held his hand.

“Glad to see your awake Kiomè, you’re looking much better, I’m going to keep you for a day or so to make sure you’re well enough to go home this time. I want you to rest for now.” He tried to sit up only for me to push him gently back down.

“I’m all good I promise, you don’t have to worry about me.”

“No, because I listened to you before, you almost didn’t make it. You rest and behave.” He pouted but let his head fall back to the pillow.

“What was so odd?” I looked to the doctor whose eyes rested on Kio and he took a long breath.

“The venom in your tail Satan…it was a cytotoxic venom, it was made to break down and degrade the area of the sting and it was very true the venom broke down the cells in Kiomè’s heart.”

“Heh…see I told you that you were toxic Babe.”

“Fuck you Kio.”

“That’s how we got here.” He let out a small laugh and I shook my head, several hours ago you were asking me to kill you and now you crack jokes. Do you know what a roller coaster you are?

“However I did notice that several cells were already regenerating when I took the sample and I studied them. Some cells were Kiomès’ and there were Cells that after testing I found were not his, now being that I know that there are cells and DNA in venom I assumed this to be yours Satan. But some of the other cells…they were neither and I tested the DNA and I found they were…both.” We looked to each other and the others whispered confused. Lucifer for once seemed at a loss for words and in the deafening silence the doctor sighed again.

“Come with me.” We left Kio in bed to follow the doctor down the hall to something covered with a large white sheet and I felt my stomach knot up.

“From what I have studied I found that because of Kiomè’s rapid regeneration the venom wasn’t being expelled. However it not only didn’t get expelled but it was absorbed and the strands of DNA merged and a reaction happened.” He looked to us and sighed again and I was now sure that he was just as confused as we were. He put the clipboard down and shoved his hands in his pockets as he looked to the floor for a moment.

“Look, I’m going to be very honest and real with you, the DNA merged and formed a cancer. What was happening to Kiomè was that the…growth was actually growing, putting pressure on and then tearing his heart. But…dammit…look if I read this in some sort of medical magazine or some article in the newspaper I would have thrown that shit in the garbage and called it just that. It is not medically possible, it is not genetically possible, hell I don’t believe it is even physically possible! But I opened him up with my own hands, I removed it myself, I put it in this tank and hooked it to these wires and I still don’t believe it!” We stared at him confused and he looked it too, he wasn’t even speaking to us as a medical professional but as one demon to another at this point and that worried me.

“Okay look, if you want to know my medical opinion, I think this is a genetic breakthrough. If you want my personal opinion I think this is the craziest thing I have ever seen! But if you want the cold hard truth of just what this is…?” He pulled back the sheet to reveal an incubation tank. In the clear liquid was a small creature curled in on itself with cords hooked to it connected to monitors and on the wall showing things like…a heartbeat??

“That… _that_ my fellow demons is a fetus! I removed a _living fetus_ from a young demon’s _heart_ , okay! These same cells that were once cancerous actually formed a tiny demon fetus within a few weeks, and it’s gotten bigger since I placed it in here!! I have lived for _thousands of years_ , I have seen a lot of things but never… _never have I ever_ seen this!” I stared at the little creature in the tank, unable to wrap my head around exactly what or why it was what it was. Me stinging him in the heart did this, he almost died because this thing was getting too big and moving? How? Was it really because of Kio’s healing abilities? And what even is this thing, will it become some sort of monster and rampage all of Devildom? What have I done…it’s like the more I try to put this behind me the more it wants to stare me in the face. And here it is, a monster no bigger than my thumb, a living reminder that I and ruining my partner’s life. I felt a hand on my shoulder and Lucifer looked at me with confliction, he had no words for this either.

“Listen I know this is a seriously confusing time for all of you and in honesty I need a drink after something like this. Satan…I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted the same. I don’t know what you guys plan to do, but I would like to study it and monitor its growth and development. I think this is a serious medical breakthrough and other physicians should know about it.”

“I…uh…yeah, ok.” Dr. Namtar nodded and cleared his throat looking back at the creature in the tank before patting my shoulder with a smile.

“Excuse me for sounding so unprofessional, but this…this is amazing, I held it in my hands and I still can’t believe it. This little thing shares both of your DNA, so all I can say is, congratulations, you’re technically a father.” He chuckled and I felt myself pale, there was no way, this was some fluke, a mistake! This should never have happened!

“I will leave you all alone to discuss this.” He left us still muttering his astonishment and we were all dead silent as we looked to the little demon in the tank.

“I wonder how much grimm we can get for lettin’ people see it.”

“Do yourself a favor and stop talking Mammon.”

“Oh wow, this little guy was what put him in all that pain…this is so odd…” Jetèa touched the glass tenderly as she looked at it.

“Yes this is odd…Satan, what is it you plan to do from this point? You have a responsibility you know.” Responsibility…? Just a few hours ago I was planning a school function and now I have…a responsibility? What the hell is going on right now?

“This is actually really cool, strange but cool.” Belphie walked around the tank to see from all sides. I felt jealous of him in that moment, he could move from the spot he was standing in right now. I felt like my feet were glued to the floor, my eyes stuck on this thing that was obviously going to change our lives, I just didn’t know how.

“Hey, guys, what’s going on? What did he say, what’s up?” I heard Kio calling from the other side of the room but I didn’t have the words to even explain what was happening. I knew that whatever we say next would possibly end his world as he knows it. But of course my younger brother with no filter had just the words only he could come up with.

“Hey Kio, congrats, you’re going to be a mom!” It was silent and then I heard the bed creak as I knew he would sit up at hearing that.

“What???”

“Yeah, the doctor just took this kid out of your chest, and the DNA says that Satan’s the dad, so yeah…Mazel Tov!!” There were multiple ways to say that more delicately, but he always gets straight to the point.

“What the hell is going on, Sae what is Belphie saying? Sae? Hey somebody give me answers that makes sense here!” Believe me Kio…I wish it made sense, I wish I could tell you anything right now that would make sense, but I can’t…I couldn’t make sense of this no matter how much I tried.

“What the hell are we going to do now?”


	7. Kenzo Rin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A cancerous mutation became a tiny demon. The news put everyone in a different corner on the matter but one thing remain certain. Rin was here and alive.

Chapter 7

K

I listened as Sae gave the doctors’ explanation as best he could while he was trying to wrap his head around it as well. So I had some kind of cancer that mutated, but what could or even should have become a malignant growth actually became…a baby? It had only became a living being because of my healing abilities, but even so it doesn’t explain how it has a heart and limbs. Everyone looked to be a strange combination of shock and confusion but Sae looked like he were sick, the more he spoke the paler he became, it was like he was slowly losing himself.

I laid there in that bed in the dark and I looked over to see my lover resting in the chair by my bedside, he had rested his head beside me and I petted his hair. I checked the clock, it was about four in the morning, no one would be up any time soon, meanwhile I was restless. I thought about the faint glow of the object on the other side of the large room and remembered that it was there the doctor had said…the thing was. I looked around, there were maybe three other patients and they were sleeping, they wouldn’t tell on me if I decided to take a little walk right? I sat up, my body felt a little sore still, I looked to the incision where the doctor had removed the growth and I remembered that he told me not to heal it or the ribs he had to get through, that I had used so much energy on my heart and went through so much trauma that doing so would put a strain on me. I would have disobeyed if not for the fact that my legs nearly gave out when I stood. I caught myself on the bed and looked back over to Sae to see he was still sleeping soundly, good.

I walked slowly down the aisle looking at the soft white glow of the tank just ahead, wondering just what it would be that I would see. No one would tell me what it looked like or anything about it other than the medical facts, but I had to know, if I nearly died so it could live the least it could do is let me see it.

I stopped just in front of it, listening to the soft beeps of the monitors and my eyes fell on the steady spiking line that indicated its heartbeat. It had a heartbeat; it has a heart which means it has a functioning brain…how? I looked to the creature in the tank, and it looked just like those babies we read about in health class. It was curled in on itself and I could see the spiny tail that was nearly the length of his body…it was just like Sae’s. I looked closer, it had arms and legs and even tiny hands and feet a mouth that moved maybe once every few minutes and its eyes…they looked like an aliens…they were large and black and almond shaped which frightened me a little. But then I hardly knew about human babies let alone demon ones, I was sure its eyes were still just developing. It was small…it could fit in my hand, which I suppose given the fact that my heart couldn’t bear the pressure of something that big inside it I understood the pain I went through.

“So you’re the one that caused all the trouble huh? What do you have to say for yourself?” it twitched and stretched its legs slightly and then my mind was brought back to those bouts of pain that made me shudder even now. That’s what was tearing my heart, he was only stretching in the cramped space, but I would have died because of it…

In that moment I felt…sadness, which surprised me because I wasn’t around anyone but…

“Hey…are…are you sad?” It twitched a little, and I held my hand to the glass, it was stupid to even talk to it, it couldn’t understand words but maybe it could understand emotions and thoughts. I tried to search the tiny mind which was full of shadows and little swirls of color. I read it quietly, feeling the tiny creatures emotions as the colors changed, I soon realized that the color he associated with sadness was red.

“What is wrong…why are you sad little one?” in its mind I heard my screams I felt my pain all over again…the color red…blood.

“You felt my pain…how…?” Was this little thing an empath as well? I remember the stories my mother told us about the special abilities my baby sister had while still in the womb, she would communicate and talk to Mother constantly. Could it be that this was also the case? I felt the sadness again and it saddened me, this baby was too young, too tiny and too fragile to feel this sad.

“Don’t be sad…I’m okay, see, I’m right here talking to you. I’m not angry at you or anything, it wasn’t your fault, so please…” I felt slight relief and another color came to mind, blue…I didn’t understand, maybe it can see just a little and is associating colors with what it felt when it saw them.

“Can…can you understand me?” It moved its legs again, opening its mouth as though to say something before the tail twitched.

“Do you know me?” again it moved and the heart monitor indicated it was getting excited. It was in my body, so maybe it recognizes my voice!” I felt touched to think something so small and fragile would respond to me this way, he didn’t seem like a monster or some mutant at all. Okay yeah it looked freaky but no one is supposed to see these things this early in development right?

“You came from me…I’m your daddy…” The words slipped out before I could even think about them…what was I saying? Technically it shares my genes and it is a baby so that would be the logical title…but I was still in my teens, I knew nothing of having children. What would I tell my parents? How would I take care of it?

It moved again and I could feel it was becoming anxious because of my own hesitation and I willed myself to be calm. I had no idea what I was going to do but one thing is for certain, I wanted to keep it safe, I wanted to protect this little creature from everything that could or would hurt it.

“Yes, I’m your daddy, and I won’t let anything hurt you, I promise.” Was this what it felt like, to have something rely on you and desire to protect it like this? Is this what my own father felt for me? This was so odd, I had only known it for maybe ten minutes and already I wanted to give my life for its happiness. Already we had a bond.

“Now what should I call you huh? I think you deserve some sort of name; I can’t tell what gender you are…so maybe I can just call you Rin? Would that be nice?” I touched the tank feeling such warmth in my heart and I felt it returned. He liked it too.

“What are you doing?” I turned to see Sae behind me, he looked exhausted, I must have scared him when he found me gone.

“Sorry Babe, I was just talking to Rin here…”

“ _Rin_ …you named it?”

“Well why not, it’s alive so it ought to have a name. Maybe saying ‘it’ isn’t the best way to go either…”

“Do you hear yourself right now? You’re talking about it like it is some sort of…” He refused to even look at Rin, he seemed so upset and I guess I wouldn’t blame him, this situation is pretty strange.

“Rin is alive Sae, he’s a demon just like us, and he’s ours.”

“It isn’t even supposed to _be_ alive, you heard what the doctor said and you read the charts yourself. This is nothing but a mutated form of cancer that by some fluke or stem cells or whatever was able to become a functioning organism. You can’t just give it a name like some pet when you don’t even know what it’ll do! It isn’t supposed to be here and yet it just came into this world and you expect everyone to just accept it?”

“I mean you came into this world and everyone accepted you.”

“That’s fucked up Kio!”

“No what’s fucked up is that you don’t look at that and think this is the same thing?!” I felt a pain in my chest and my head hurt suddenly, the color red…”

“What’s wrong?”

“Rin…doesn’t like it when we fight.” I looked back to the tank, his heart started beating faster.

“You…can talk to it?”

“I can feel his emotions and he mine, we can communicate sorta.” His face softened and he finally looked to Rin with real thought.

“Of course…it would turn out just like you, maybe that’s a good thing.”

“I mean yeah Rin looks a bit weird but you just have to give them time.” I wasn’t sure what I meant by that, I didn’t even know what Rin would look like once time went by.

“Well you need to get back to bed, you need your rest.”

“Sure…” I looked back at Rin, watching those tiny legs stretch.

“I’ll talk to you later, okay?” I smiled and turned back to see Sae watching me.

“What’s wrong?” He sighed and shook his head, maybe I shouldn’t have assumed he would take to it so easily, I was just as confused and scared but I know I can’t just abandon the little guy.

“Nothing, we had a long day, you need your rest.” I put an arm around him and let him take me back to bed. Thinking about it, I wasn’t sure why I was acting the way I was either, I just knew that Rin felt scared and alone, no matter how he came to be alive, no matter what he was, I couldn’t ignore that. 

S

“I don’t know what else to do, he’s been visiting it every day after school. I really think he’s bent on keeping it.” My brothers and I sat in the living room to talk this matter over. It had been nearly three weeks since ‘Rin’ was removed and we already noticed that he was growing and developing stronger by the day, he was the size of a small melon and his eyes thankfully formed lids. But the question still remained of what to do once the doctors were finished with their studies.

“Well why not, I think having a little cambion baby would be a nice change of pace. Imagine the possibilities, the clothes the shoes the pretty hair bows and pageants!”

“That sounds like a life I would rather die than experience.”

“Oh hush, it could be a little girl, and she would love it! Hell even a little boy would love the attention!”

“But Asmo is right, it wouldn’t hurt to have a little kid around.”

“You lot don’t seem to understand that there are basically seven children running around this house at this moment!” Lucifer flipped through his papers as he glared over at us, as usual, he had something to say.

“Lucifer, I am really not in the mood for your bullshit right now.”

“Well you need to hear it Satan, because you two got yourselves into this and now you need to decide what it is you’re going to do. You can hardly care for yourselves and you’re clamoring about a child like it’s it a new puppy or something!”

“What are you trying to say?!”

“I’m saying you will bring it home where you will care for it for maybe a week and once you see the work that needs done you will pass it off to someone else! Tèa and I will take the brunt of the responsibility as always.” Oh he had some nerve, he would talk to me like I were some child!

“You have a lot of fucking nerve! You think I did all of this on purpose, you think I wanted this to happen?! Well I didn’t, but I know damn well that I can care for that…child a hell of a lot better than you!!”

“Oh so now you are going to care for it?”

“Yeah, I’ll take care of it and I’ll show you that you are wrong about us!” He crossed his arms as the others looked on and smiled that smug smile.

“I hope so.” Ugh he can be such an asshole!

“Luci, you’re being hard on them, no one was prepared for something like this.” Jetèa brought some tea in hopes of everyone calming down but I wasn’t in the mood to be pacified.

“Well, all of you need to prepare yourselves, the doctor is saying that he hasn’t seen anything like it and in honesty we should figure out just what it is.”

“It’s a demon.” They all looked at me as the silence fell. I remembered the conversation I had with Kio, he had a point, my own birth was unusual and yet here I was and I wasn’t a monster…well not in the literal sense.

“It’s just a demon like the rest of us, it may be odd but…it’ll be okay.”

“You really think so?” We turned to see Kio watching us with a smile on his face, he sat his bag down and sat next to me on the couch. Well I chose my side of the bed, I may as well make it.

“Yes, it’s possible we can keep the baby and raise it here.” The way he shimmered when I said that, it was like the first time I told him that I loved him.

“You have no idea how happy that makes me to hear you say that.”

“How is …Rin doing?”

“Rin is getting so big! Little guy has some serious claws already and guess what!”

“Ha, what?”

“Rin’s a blonde, not like golden blonde like yours but more like a honey blonde, it’s almost brown.”

“Don’t they call that dish water blonde?”

“Uh-uh no, those are two different shades; if you went to the salon as often as I do you would know.” Asmo leaned back in his seat with a smile, proud of his hair knowledge.

“Okay it doesn’t matter, the point is that in a few weeks he can leave the tank.”

“Wait…he?”

“Yup, it’s a boy!”

“All right!! We ain’t gotta worry ‘bout any dumb girls crampin our style…I mean, not you Tèa, ya not a girl! Gah!”

“Just shut up, idiot.”

“And just where will he sleep?”

“Well I was thinking I could give him my room and I would bunk with Sae, I mean we always sleep together anyway, it makes sense. We would just have to get new furniture to accommodate him and I’ve been doing some searching already.”

“You have been putting thought into this haven’t you?” His eyes were so bright and he seemed so excited, it’s like this child wasn’t a living reminder of the worst few weeks of our relationship.

“Yeah, I‘ve been thinking a lot about what we would do like where to get his clothes, furniture, schools, all of that. I’ve also been reading to him, maybe he can learn words a lot faster if we start him early.”

“Well at least one of you has been thinking on it.”

“Have you guys been thinking of any names? Oh I love picking names!”

“To what Asmo, your shoes?”

“I don’t know, I’ve been calling him Rin so far.”

“Hey, I was playing online with this one demon who bet me a whole marathon of Stellar Battles that I could beat his high score…well I didn’t, he cheated. But the marathon was pretty good for normie stuff, it would have been better if it was an anime. I think you should name him Kylo Ren after the fierce warrior and general of the star force army!”

“Yeah, no Levi, I am not naming him after some dumb fictional character.”

“Come on now, if it was some protagonist in those novels you read it would have been a great idea!”

“Well maybe he isn’t too far off.” I looked over to Kio who seemed to have a mischievous smile on his face, which was scary, because I was usually in on his schemes.”

“What do you mean?”

“We could name him Kenzo.”

“Oh you mean after Kenzo Takada, the famous Japanese fashion designer?!”

“No…Kenzo Kitakata, the author.” I thought about that, I did enjoy his detective novels and I wouldn’t mind it.

“Sure, I can deal with Kenzo.” He beamed and I felt happy to see his smile, he hadn’t smiled this much since before my mistakes.

“You have to come with me to visit him tomorrow after school, I am reading _The Little_ _Siren_ to him and he’s really into it.” He really didn’t see that this was a reminder of what I did wrong, he saw an opportunity to unify us, he saw someone to protect and he put all his energy into it. He always was a nurturer, I loved that about him.

“Sure…” He smiled brighter and got up to leave as the others dispersed, we all talked about raising a child but it seemed I was the only one concerned with how this child is going to be, like what if he isn’t just a demon? What if we are biting off more than we can chew and I just jumped on board without even thinking about the outcome to this? But the way he smiled…I would give anything to keep that smile on his face, I just hope I’m wrong about this.

K

“Today was amazing, I was able to speak to him telepathically and he was able to send back some words I used. He knows the difference between colors and he is learning numbers and shapes every day, he’s like a sponge ready to soak up any information available. He’s incredible!” I changed out of my uniform jacket and into a t-shirt as I talked to my sister, I had such a nice visit with Rin, the bigger he was getting, the more excited I became about what he would be learning next or how we could communicate.

“That’s wonderful Kio, and he’s communicating with you too?! What have the doctors said about his development?”

“It’s really fast, they say it might be five times faster than a human. He will be fully developed in just under a week and they want to remove him from the tank and see how he does.”

“That’s wonderful.” I know that tone, she was doing it again.

“You said that already.”

“Well Kio…”

“Out with it Tèa.”

“You basically told everyone that you are going to be raising a child, that is something big to take on.”

“Yes I know and I’m willing to do that, I’m prepared do take that on!”

“But is Satan?”

“He said he wanted to do this, he even liked the name I don’t understand what you are getting at!”

“Okay, okay but have you told Mother and Father?” I stopped short and stared at her for a moment.

“I…hadn’t even thought about it…what do I say?! How do I tell them what happened?! Do I just go home with him in tow and say ‘Mom, Dad you now have a grandchild, enjoy!’ That’s insane!”

“In honesty we expected something like that to come from Lai.”

“But what would they say, how can I possibly tell them this?!” She stood clucking her tongue as she hugged me, rubbing my back like any older sibling would.

“You stressed yourself sick when you found out you were bi, you thought they would disown you and they adore you anyway. Chances are Mama will adore Rin and Father will go with the flow, it isn’t like you’ve done anything wrong. And if they have something to say about it, I will be there by your side.” She really has changed, took long enough but she was truly the sister I needed.

“Aw nee-chan…” She backed away quickly, swiping a tear from her eye as she chuckled.

“Now tell me more about my nephew.” I smiled, but what she said about Sae really made me wonder, is this what he wanted? He said he was for this, but was he just trying to appease me? No, he would have said something; Sae wasn’t the type to mince words.

“Well today he told me, that the little siren should have stayed in the ocean because she already had people who loved her. Leaving her family only caused more pain.”

“He said all of that?”

“Ehh, well he felt those things and said she should have stayed home, he’s really smart.”

“If he’s from our bloodline I know he is.” I laughed at that, we were all sponges in our own right.

“I want to make this room his, do you think you and the others will help me?” She laughed at that and nodded. Maybe I was getting really excited but they didn’t know Rin like I did, we had a bond. And I would do anything to make sure he would be loved and safe.

~ ~

“And when she found that her voice was being used by the evil sea witch to make the prince fall in love with her instead, Vila fell deep into despair. She didn’t know what more she could do to make the prince love her and now it seemed she would lose her chance with him. If the prince married another she would turn to sea foam, and she had until sunset tomorrow, so Vila went to the ocean to pray for an answer.” Rin twitched and moved his head as I read, feeling afraid and sad for the siren. It seemed the more I told him stories and illustrated telepathically the faster he was able to understand just what words meant. As time went on I began to love spending time with him, I looked forward to it after school every day and felt sad when I would have to leave. The doctors would monitor him during the visits as well and they told me that when I was here he was higher in spirits and his readings were much higher. We were good for each other, it was plain and simple.

“And then the goddess of the sea took pity on poor Vila and came to her in the moonlight, she said to her. ‘If the prince refuses to chooses you by sunset tomorrow then you shall turn to sea foam, however if you kill this prince before time is up then you shall regain your tail and rejoin the sea. This is your choice, you have it to make.’ And Vila was conflicted for she did not want to die but to kill the prince was never a thought to her. She loved him, and didn’t want any harm to come to him however if he refused to love her then all was for naught and she would die. And if refused to love her, then maybe he should make the sacrifice, she thought this to herself as the moon rose higher above the ocean waves that always called her home.”

_“no…”_

“What is it?”

_“No…kill prince.”_

“You wouldn’t kill the prince? And why is that?”

 _“He…miss her…when she leaves…how will find again?”_ I looked to the cover of the book and I sighed, this was not the best story after all.

“Rin…if the price dies…then the prince is no more, death means the end of life.”

_“No…understand…”_

“Maybe…we shouldn’t read this story…I think it is too sad for you.”

 _“Story…more…Daddy…”_ He always got me with that word, but how do I describe death to someone who had barely begun to live?

“I see you two are deep into it.” I was nearly startled to see Sae coming up behind us but it was a pleasant surprise. This was his first visit since the night he was removed.

“Hey Babe!” I kissed him and pulled him closer to the tank to have a seat, Rin moved his head slightly in Sae’s direction which seemed to spook him a little.

“I told him you would come, he’s happy you did.”

“He really said that?”

“Yes, I told him all about you, you are his father after all.” He looked like he had just tasted something sour and turned his head.

“I can use another name, Rin already calls me Daddy, what would you like him to call you?”

“It doesn’t matter…look Kio, don’t you think we are a little…ill prepared for this?”

“What do you mean?” He was looking at his hands, he wouldn’t meet my gaze for a moment and it alarmed me. I eventually heard a sigh and he looked up at Rin.

“I love you Kio, you know I do and I have put you through hell lately. I know you care about Rin, I know you think that this is our way of having some sort of family but the truth is that we aren’t ready for this. We don’t know what he will grow to be. We don’t know what his life will be like or if we can even care for him properly. I think the best thing for us to do…is to stop this before it’s too late.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying that we shouldn’t take him, we can’t care for him, and we should stop this whole plan of taking him in. We need to end it.” I turned to him completely so I could really look at him and I outright scoffed at him.

“And what will we do, give him to science, let him be poked and prodded like some experiment or some damn animal?? Or maybe you want him to be taken in by someone else is that it?!”

“Kio, I meant-”

“Well I won’t do it, I refuse, I am not going to abandon him because it is inconvenient for me! I brought him into this world and I am going to make sure he is protected, he is mine! If you don’t want to do that then you don’t have to, I won’t force you to but you should have said that first instead of trying to convince me that giving him away would be better than even trying!” the monitors beeped louder and I turned to Rin who fidgeted.

“Hey, little man, I’m sorry. Daddy’s okay alright, everything is fine.” Sae looked at me like he was defeated and then shed a smile.

“I would never let you do this alone, you are my partner and we did this together. I just thought…well it isn’t important. If you are all in then so am I.” I felt so relieved at that, he smiled so warmly but there was something he was hiding and I wasn’t sure if I should pry.

“Maybe you can help us, the little siren has to choose between killing the prince to save her own life or dying by sunset. I don’t quite know how to explain death to him…”

“Of all stories, you read him this one, does he underst-” He turned back to the tank sharply, as Rin seemed to focus on his direction.

“Did he say something to you?” He looked stunned, almost scared as they seemed to connect.

“Uhh, death. Well I am alive, you are alive and so is Kio. At one point we are all alive, we breathe and think and learn. But if we die, that is the end of it, we don’t breathe or learn or do anything and our bodies return to the earth to be processed as carbon. When you die…you are just gone.” There was silence and I felt Rin’s sadness.

“That is what makes the sirens story much more meaningful, if there was no real consequence, no permanency then there is no value. It is a question of whose life is worth more, because you cannot get them back once it’s gone.” I was in awe of his explanation, not because it was insightful because that was just Sae, but because Rin not only understood but enjoyed the story much more. I handed the book over and he looked at me like it was going to bite him.

“Maybe you can take over, I’m sure he would like to hear your voice for a while.” He slowly reached for the book, looking at me with a hint of fear before looking back to Rin.

“Sure, I can read to you, would you like that?” just then his lids slit open and slowly he opened them wide to reveal a pair of pretty green eyes. They were odd in that the pupils seemed to be non-existent or maybe discolored, but more so they were beautiful and added to his developing features.

“Oh Sae…he has your eyes…” he stared at Rin’s face before chuckling almost forcefully.

“He has my eyes…but I already know he has your heart, I know from what he told me alone.” I smiled at that, maybe we didn’t mean for this to happen, but it didn’t mean we should be afraid. He was here, and he had already both broken my heart and stolen it in a matter of weeks. I for damn sure wasn’t going to let him go.

“Kenzo Rin Minamino…I think I like that name.”

“Then it will be his name, should I start here?”

“Yeah, that is where we left off.”

“And so the siren paced all morning, hoping there was another way she could end this day than with death. She decided to once again approach the prince and confess her feelings with a kiss in hopes of awakening something within him…” I remember Sae had told me that he was afraid he wouldn’t be able to provide a family to me, but here right now we had one. It may not have been in the way we had expected, but I knew our son would grow up in a house full of love and chaos, in the end that is what makes a real home. And I would do what was possible to give it to him, the past couple months have been hell for us, but watching those two was like a slice of heaven. 


	8. The Grand Debut

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Satan has to decide if he wants to be Rin's father or not, the child's debut is a little more exciting than expected and leads to many more questions.

Chapter 8

S

The more time went by, the more I began to feel myself consumed with thoughts of Kenzo. How is it that everyone can be so excited about it and not look at the other possibilities? What will we do if he causes mayhem, and more so than the usual demon? If he can communicate this early, how powerful can he be? But then he spoke to me that day I went to read with them, he told me that the siren shouldn’t kill the prince because to end a life isn’t nice in so little words. That told me he was compassionate, just like Kio. The whole evening left me on the fence about him.

“So the decorations are all set and the tickets have been sold out, the food is ready and the games have been gathered. Satan what about the booths, how are they looking?” If he could be that compassionate then he wouldn’t be a threat, but I have heard from the doctors that he gets excitable when we aren’t around.

“Satan?” Would this mean that we would have to monitor him all hours of the day, how would he function? What if he’s aggressive when he’s alone? This goes back to his strength level…

“Oi, Devildom to Satan! We ain’t tryin’ to sit here all night!” I looked around to see everyone looking at me which was embarrassing.

“I apologize, um, yes everything is good to go on my end.” Diavolo looked at me much longer than I wanted and leaned over the table with a bit of worry on his face.

“Is everything alright, you seem awfully distracted, it’s not like you.”

“Oh don’t mind him, he’s just expecting-“

“A call, Satan is expecting a call. And he should keep his DDD on silent…” Lucifer’s sideways glance only added to my agitation.

“I’m fine Diavolo, let’s just continue.” He nodded and stepped back as he looked back to the paperwork before him.

“If everyone is ready with their parts then the school social will proceed tomorrow as planned. Does anyone have any other business?” I shook my head as the other voiced their answers.

“Alright, then we are adjourned. Satan, Lucifer, could you stay here a moment?” I felt my stomach drop at the thought of another conversation involving my focus and responsibility. The others left and I waited as Diavolo closed the door behind them, I was already agitated, I didn’t need this too.

“Listen, I know you guys have private lives and that’s all well and fine. You are not required to tell me of anything that goes on there unless you choose to…or unless it involves my kingdom.” Oh hell, here we go.

“Why didn’t you guys tell me about what happened to Kiomè or this new little demon?”

“Well Diavolo this is a very delicate matter, we thought it best to keep it private until we had more information.”

“At the very least I thought we were friends Lucifer.”

“Of course we are, but you see this matter may be a family one, however I didn’t find it my place to discuss. This is Satan’s business.” That surprised me, I didn’t expect him to consider my privacy, I thought this would be yet another moment he would once again lord over his perceived superiority.

“Oh, of course, forgive me. It’s just when Dr. Namtar contacted me the other day and told me about the other physicians coming to view the little one, I was intrigued. And when he told me how it happened I was flabbergasted that I didn’t know this before. This truly is amazing.”

“Has something like this ever happened in the Devildom before?” He looked at me carefully as he thought and sat down.

“Well I remember a long time ago there was a study about healing abilities, could they be learned and what properties and factors are required. Now what Dr. Namtar explained it to me after their current research, was that Kio actually possesses two types of abilities, one he learned was how to split cells at will. The other… is an autoimmune response his body makes when faced with physical trauma to the lungs heart or liver. We don’t know anything about the brain, damaging it on purpose would be simply out of the question, however from the samples they have taken from…what was his name?”

“Rin, his name is Rin.”

“Oh right, thank you, he had a large number of stem cells in his body. Now the doctors believe that Kiomè’s vitals will produce them to eliminate confusion when there had been a massive amount of physical trauma! The cells took the DNA from you and mended them together thinking it was meant to be and once that bond formed they grew into their own entity. It was astonishing to hear about!” They didn’t tell us this much information, I suppose this comes with being the prince.

“But more than that I am very excited to meet the little one; would it be alright if I were to view his release?” He was just another one, someone excited to see the new addition but not thinking of the possible consequences.

“Sure Diavolo, I don’t really care.”

“Wonderful, oh you asked if it’s ever happened before! Well no not to my knowledge and not according to any archives I’ve read so far, I have been looking into this believe me. But as far as I’ve researched Rin is the first of his kind.” Of course he was, so many variables. Why is it that no one thought about other outcomes for this demon, why was no one worried?

“Alright so we should get going!”

“Going where?”

“…you do realize that it’s today right? He’s being taken out today to see how he fairs.” That was today?! Kio did say something about it but I had been so distracted that I paid no mind to date and time.

“Right, of course, let’s go.” He smiled and headed towards the door and I felt Lucifer’s hand on my shoulder.

“Diavolo is right, you are distracted, this situation has you bothered.”

“I’m fine.”

“You are far from fine, if you are not ready for such a responsibility then you need to take action before it is too late.” I shrugged his hand away and I felt my mood go from agitated to straight pissed off.

“Really, was that your mistake Lucifer? Did you not decide how to _handle me_ before it was too late?!” he sighed and kept that same stony expression.

“I know you better than you know yourself, we did used to be one you know. This matter is very different, there is a child that will be relying on you in the near future and no matter what you choose to do, it had better be something you can live with.”

“And just what would the great wise Lucifer suggest?! What should I do about Rin? What answers do you have?!”

“If I were someone who had a father, I would expect that father to be wise, noble and willing to help me develop to my best potential. A father is someone who protects, who teaches and disciplines when necessary and without malice! If you are going to step up and be that father then be it, if you aren’t then don’t but the last thing any being, demon, human or angel would want is to grow up knowing their own father resents them. So don’t do this half assed!” Dammit…it was actually good advice but I dared not show it.

“Tch… whatever, let’s just go to this thing, I don’t want Kio to jump my case too.” I brushed passed him not wanting to even look at him, but I heard the smile in his voice.

“Good to see you’ll at least think about it.” Such a bastard!!

K

“Alright, his vitals look good, blood pressure is stable and temperature is at 99.8 degrees.”

“So we are ready to go!” There were doctors from all over Devildom that had come to see this happen, my sister and Belphie came as well. The others didn’t show because there was only so much space, but Sae was supposed to have been here when the others showed up. Where could he be?

“This is so exciting, it’s like waiting for a birth.”

“I mean it isn’t like we don’t know what he looks like, it’s no different than taking him out of the bath.”

“Maybe, but we will see if he is able to breathe and survive on his own, that’s big.” I would be lying if I said I wasn’t a little bit nervous about this, what if the air made him sick, what if he caught a cold or his lungs weren’t developed enough? He seemed so nervous to see all these demons here, I noticed his tail twitch like an agitated cat as he looked to all the unfamiliar faces.

“Hey, it’s going to be okay little man, don’t be scared.” I could see in his eyes that was exactly the problem. ‘Who are these people, what do they want, are they going to hurt me?’ Those were just some of the questions going on in his mind.

“Hello everyone, my, this is exciting isn’t it. I bet you’re proud!” Diavolo sat behind me, patting my shoulder as he grinned ear to ear. I simply assumed that the doctors would contact Diavolo for the funding alone, but him seeing this as a personal miracle among his own friends was just an added bonus. Lucifer sat beside him and I turned around to look towards the back.

“Don’t worry, he’s coming, he wanted to do something special.” Lucifer gave me a knowing smile and I felt just a little bit suspicious. In truth we were good friends but Sae had his reasons for not liking us being too close when he was present. It was why I took it upon myself to irritate him, though in this case he understood.

“Good, thanks Lu, I hope he makes it in time.” I turned back to the front as Dr. Namtar was pressing some buttons and the liquid began to drain which seemed to immediately frighten Rin, his whole world was this little fortress. He didn’t know what to do and he was panicking as the fluid lowered.

“Heart rate is skyrocketing!”

“Blood pressure is building!” He thrashed around panicked as he ripped the cables that checked his vitals and fell to the bottom with a thudding splash. He tried desperately to escape his ever shrinking refuge until the liquid was gone and he was left choking in a corner putting me in a panic. Dr. Namtar quickly opened a compartment and tried to get a hold of him only for Rin to slash and bite at him as he choked. He wore protective gloves but they weren’t much match for him, but thankfully he was able to clear Rin’s airway so he would be able to breathe.

Unfortunately, Rin had never had physical contact before and was terrified of what the doctor was doing, he lashed out, injuring him and making him fall out of the chamber. Everyone gasped and yelled and it was utter chaos!

“What in Sheol is going on?!” Sae came just in time to see this at its worst and I feared this would hurt his opinion of our son.

“Get out of there!”

“We need to restrain him!” Others began to crowd the now empty tank and Rin bolted out of the opening and under the feet of the doctors making them shriek and run.

“Be careful, he must be restrained!” everyone was yelling and running everywhere, I watched as Diavolo and Lucifer spoke about something, which floored me because there was no way anyone can hear with all the screaming and glass shattering! Rin was darting on all fours evading everyone and lashing out at those who came close to catching him. All of the other doctors were running and screaming and it was a total shit show! Rin had finally run himself into a corner and a few of the doctors stood there to keep him from escaping, he was hyperventilating and so panicked that I couldn’t let them handle this anymore!

“STOP IT!!” I ran over to the corner where others tried to stop me but I wasn’t shy about shoving them out of the way to get to the three that had my son cornered and scared out of his mind.

“Stop it, back away from him!!”

“We have to restrain him before he hurts anyone else, there is reason to believe that he is venomous as well!”

“Well you’re doing a really shitty job at it!! He’s cold and scared and you are all chasing him like he’s some damned animal! He’s just a child!!” I saw one of them had a pair of clamps and I snatched them away and threw them. I would never leave him with the likes of them, they treat him like some object, like he has no feelings!

“Move.” They parted and I stepped forward, he was backed against the wall his eyes wide with fear and panting, his wet hair hanging in his face. Poor little guy was naked cold and terrified, and these jerks just wanted to treat him so horribly.

“Rin, hey Rin, come on buddy, it’ going to be okay.” I knelt down and he let out a growl a he showed me his fangs.

“I bet you have a killer bite little man, did you give some of those lab coats a taste of their own medicine?” He searched my eyes as I laughed but tried to back farther into the wall.

“Hey, no one here is going to hurt you, okay? I’m not going to let anyone hurt you.” He looked up behind me and over my shoulder Sae handed me a thick blanket with a nod. It was a soft green quilt with fleece on the other side, embroidered in red letters was _Kenzo Rin Minamino_ , this was what he was taking so long to do. I turned back to Rin who shivered violently and I held up my hand making him flinch.

“Hey, I’m not going to hurt you, it’s okay. I’m never going to let anyone hurt you, Daddy will always be here when you’re scared.” I held the blanket in one hand and my other hand I held out to him. He shivered again and crept closer to me and slowly lifted his hand towards mine until he touched my palm with his finger and quickly pulled it away.

“It’s okay Rin, come to Daddy…” He looked at me as I stroked his face and a tear fell from his eye. He took two steps toward me and I wrapped him up in the blanket and bundled him in my arms. I held him tight, rocking him, willing him to have all my strength my warmth and my love.

“It’s okay, Daddy’s here, Daddy’s here Rin.” I kissed his forehead, cradling his head in my hand like my own father had done. He felt so confused and so afraid but he knew what I was doing was nice and he wrapped his arms around my neck and buried his face in it.

“Daddy’s here little man, and I’m not letting anyone hurt you.”

S

“That is amazing.”

“I knew if anyone could calm him down it would be Kiomè.”

“Aww, look at that…” Everyone watched on as Kio held onto Rin, snuggling him close and my heart melted. He loved that little boy, and I could see from the way he clung to him that he loved him back. Lucifer had said that I needed to choose whether to be all in or all out when it came to him and seeing this I made my decision.

“You all must be ashamed of yourselves, look at him, you think you can just come after him like some mob and he not act like the animal you make him out to be?! He’s a child, he’s terrified and all of you but a few of us are strangers! For scientists you are all a bunch of imbeciles! Show some damn tact, and if any of you come at him again I’ll rip your damned faces off, shove you in some cage and show you who the real animals are!” Did I go overboard, maybe, but they got the message loud and clear. If hurting Kenzo hurt Kio, then I would destroy anyone who even thought of doing so.

“Yeah, that’s your father; he will keep you safe too.” I heard the muttered words and yet my mind didn’t register just who he was speaking of until I turned to see them looking at me. Kenzo was looking at me with such wide pretty eyes… he reminded me of the baby pictures of Kio, he had his delicate features and that curious look. And Kio looked at me so much pride and adoration that I felt my face redden. I approached them both and reach my hand out which made the child flinch only slightly.

“Come now, after that amazing story, you think you don’t know me?” He looked to Kio and reached for me, which I admit I wasn’t ready for but took him anyway. He was the size of a small toddler, his hair nearly hung to his shoulders and it almost covered his eyes. He studied me curiously as I stared back at him, it was odd, it was like we were trying to figure the other out.

“Hello.” He watched my mouth as I spoke, reaching up to touch my lips gently as and I repeated.

“H…h…hellllo….” The scientists gasped and murmured as they wrote their notes, he was studying, learning how to move his own mouth and form words he already knew. The fact that he took this technique on for himself was astonishing, he was so intelligent.

“Very good Rin. You are Rin, can you say that?” He watched and felt my mouth again as I formed the word listening closely.

“R…rrr…Rinnn…”

“Good job!” He saw as I smiled and tilted his head curiously.

“I am happy, you did well!” Two words inside of a three minute period was extraordinary but I suppose it wasn’t fast enough for him.

 _“What…happy…no…understand…”_

“Umm It’s the feeling you get when you are around someone you care about or a nice warm hug like this. It’s a warmth in your chest that makes you feel a little bit afraid but it makes you feel really good at the same time.” I could tell he didn’t know all of what I was saying but he nodded and hugged me tighter.

“You two are going to make me cry….” Kio watched us and I saw Kenzo turn and brighten instantly.

“Daddy!!” He would get that word with no help. He reached out for Kio who took him back and I left them to handle the mess that’s been made.

“Okay, I admit that could have gone a lot better, we’ve never seen a child like him even normal demon infants can’t even maneuver their arms properly at birth and here he was not only running, he was learning and watching! I have been watching him all this time and yet he amazes me daily.”

“He can walk and run at birth, so in other words, he’s like a baby pig?”

“Belphie seriously?!”

“Hey my nickname for him is piglet now, there’s no going back! This was one hell of a show, glad I didn’t take a nap instead.” Belphie laughed and I admit in hindsight it was a little funny watching them all scramble like idiots like they were trying to catch a greased pig.

“The work you are doing Namtar is intriguing, I want you to find out all you can about this little guy and I want it done within reason, you scared him half to death!”

“I apologize Lord Diavolo, it was a lapse in judgment on my part, I have been watching him and studying him for several weeks but I should have known the sudden change in his atmosphere would have alarmed him. I will be more careful from this point forward.”

“Wait, this point forward?”

“Yes Satan, he still has to stay here to study how well he develops outside. They need to know if he will be able to feed himself and survive.”

“Yes, and I would like to study his motor skills, I see gross motor is fine but the fine motor is yet to be determined.” I wasn’t stupid, if all they wanted to test were his motor skills and his mental capacity then they wouldn’t have chased him in a panic like that.

“You also want to know how dangerous he is.” He looked at me with steady eyes and nodded, someone was thinking of the same things I was.

“Once we have all of that sorted then we will determine if he is safe to go home with you, but we would like follow up visits as well.”

“Fair enough, but after this debacle I require one of us to be present when you administer any tests.”

“Yes I believe that is best for all of us, the way your partner bonded with him is extraordinary. The trust between them is absolute and I think he will be the key in determining his threat level.” I watched as Kio talked to Rin who had his undivided attention. They bonded from the first day, it was no question that they trusted each other, I just wish I could say the same.

“He’s a good father.” Dr. Namtar sighed as he removed the shredded gloves from his hand revealing that they were badly damaged.

“Oh no, that looks bad.”

“I hadn’t even noticed until now, I suppose it was the adrenaline. I can hardly move my fingers now.” Kio came over to see the commotion and paled at seeing the doctors mangled hands.

“Oh no…he needs his hands to make others feel better.” He was talking to Kenzo again who looked at the hands of the demon who removed him from his daddy’s heart. I may be wrong in this, but I believe to this day that deep down he knew that.

“Hurt…” He reached out to the doctor who flinched a little and the two met eyes.

“Yes…it hurts.” Rin touched his hands, pulling back to see the blood on his fingertips.

“Sad?…no…hurt…?”

“Yes, that is blood, we need it to live, when we bleed it normally means we are hurt.” I didn’t understand what they were talking about but Rin nodded looking sad himself before reaching to the doctors hands again.

“No, hurt.” He touched them again and before our eyes his hands repaired! Dr. Namtar moved his fingers and turned his palms repeatedly and petted the little boy affectionately.

“Thank you Rin. I must learn more about you…” I admit I was astonished too, this child had done in fifteen minutes what no one has ever done after being born. I wanted to know more as well, much more.

“That was amazing, you bet I’m going to donate for this cause, you are simply incredible!” Diavolo petted Kenzo’s head who looked to the prince in curiosity, so many new faces, it must be so much for him to take in.

“Very good, let’s clean this place up and see if we can get him some clothes and food.” I looked around to see the shattered glass and broken chairs, some grand debut, you surly know how to make an entrance.

K

“Can you fit the square block in the right hole Rin?” I brushed his hair which he seemed to like a lot as he looked to the many blocks and holes of different shapes. His small fingers soon picked up the rectangle block and looked to the hole again.

“Does it fit?” He looked at the two closely and shook his head before putting it back down. He picked up a trapezoid and looked again but saw it wasn’t right either.

“You can do it.” he put it down and picked up a pentagon, and when that didn’t fit he threw a fit, swiping the blocks from the table with a growl. Someone has a temper.

“Hey now, how are you going to learn if you get mad and give up like that, now I know you can do this. Pick up those blocks and solve the puzzle.” He growled at me and I felt a little hurt, he had never done that do me before.

“Rin, I asked you to pick up those blocks and try again. You don’t need to growl at me, I’m just trying to help you.” He growled at me again and I felt angry, why was he lashing out at me like this. I remember when we would use the wrong tone of voice with our mother she would give a few stern warnings, only my sisters were bold enough to let it get to a slap in the face. The only time she struck me was when I badmouthed my sister in front of company. I guess that was why I was Mr. Perfect to them, in truth as much as I loved my mother, I was afraid of her anger.

“You are not going to growl at me Rin and I am not going to ask you again. Pick up the blocks!” He stared me down and his eyes began to glow a bright green as he snarled at me. He was so angry at me and I knew getting mad in return wouldn’t be right but the fact that he would threaten me just felt like betrayal.

“That’s it, I’m putting you in a time out, you are not going to threaten me and get away without punishment! Come on, in the corner now!” I reached down for him and he slashed at my hand making me yelp in surprise. I grabbed my hand and blood seeped between my fingers dripping to the floor making Rin’s eyes go wide.

“I…I hurt Daddy…?” I looked at him surprised and I couldn’t answer him, he had never tried to hurt me before, it was over two weeks since he was ‘born’ and for the most part I was so sure he would never hurt me. I moved my hand to see the deep tear in my palm, his claws were sharper than razors, I hardly felt it until after the fact.

“Yeah…yeah you did…” He immediately started to cry and hyperventilate as he reached out to me and within a few moments the wound was gone but his tears continued.

“Rin, why did you do that? Use your words.” He looked to his hands and sniffled ashamed.

“I was mad…”

“You were mad at me?” He shook his head and picked up the square block.

“Hard…I can’t.” he got frustrated just like I thought, but when I pushed him he got mad.

“I know you can, you are so smart Rin, you can do it.” I petted his hair and he moved away from me.

“I’m sorry Daddy…”

“It’s not nice to hurt others, but it’s okay to get mad. You just have to learn to control yourself, but we will do that later. Right now I want you to figure this out and we will do it together. Now look at how many sides this shape has, can you count them? Now which hole has the same number of sides?” he studied the shapes and soon found the square hole and slid the block right in.

“Very good! Now this is the triangle, tri means three, there are three sides. Which hole has three sides?” He looked over them again and found the correct match.

“See, I told you that you could do it! Good job!” He still kept his eyes down and I wiped the tears from his face.

“There are a lot harder things out there, and you will get frustrated; but I’m going to teach you how to get through it. You and me, we can do this together, so don’t be so down on yourself. I’m here for you little man.” He climbed into my lap and rested his head on my chest as he sniffled.

“Do you get mad a lot?” He nodded his head and I thought about this, he would lash out at the doctors from time to time but I assumed that they had done something wrong to him yet again, but if he was angry a lot, then he may be more like Sae than I thought.

“It’s okay to get mad, it happens to all of us, it’s an emotion like all the others. You just have to be careful not to hurt others when that happens okay? He nodded again and I held him close, he really felt sorry for what he had done. He was such a soft and compassionate little guy, but he just needed to control his anger. I know all about that.

“Daddy?”

“Yes Rin?” He looked up at me with sad eyes that hurt my heart, I brushed his hair out of his face and kissed his forehead.

“Am I bad?” His sentences would be three to four words at most but the words he used always got right to the point. I know how it feels to believe you’re a monster because you feel a little out of control. I hated to even think he felt this way about himself and at such a young age, Sae had told me something a few days ago and now I see his point. Rin has our genes; we know already that he can communicate telepathically and that he is very smart. But if it was possible that he had Sae’s anger, even an ounce of it then we were likely to have our hands full. What else can he do, what abilities of ours or combination of can he achieve? How dangerous could those be?

“No, you aren’t bad, sometimes we do bad things but it doesn’t mean we _are_ bad. Your good deeds must be more than the bad deeds that you do. Keep doing good things, try not to do bad ones and you never have to worry if you are bad okay?” He sniffled again and I went to touch his face with my other hand but it was still covered in blood. A cloth drifted over to me and fell onto my bloody hand…but I didn’t do it.

“Rin, you can move things?”

“Is that bad?” he was born just a couple of weeks ago and he can do things with the amount of precision that took me until at least seven to do. Sae would probably want to be cautious about this, his anger with my abilities would be devastating in the wrong hands.

“No, of course not, daddy can do that too so it isn’t bad,” He finally smiled and rested his head in my chest as I kissed his hair.

“But it certainly is interesting…” 


	9. Secrets Start to Slip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kio feels guilty that Rin is alone in a hospital facility while they go out to the spring social. Satan begins to feel pressure of his sin as someone is watching him.

Chapter 9

S

“Okay but I don’t see how I’m supposed to be the mother, I’m nobody’s mother!” Band practice was always interesting but now with Kenzo in the picture, there was no shortage of debates. Belphie would bait Kio like he always does and Kio would feed into it, it was endearing watching them bicker like they were brothers; things haven’t been this relaxed in a while.

“Well I mean think about it, you carried him in your body.”

“He was growing inside of my heart man, that isn’t the same thing as him being in the womb!”

“But ya gotta admit Kio you are the more nurturin’ type.”

“I care about his feelings, I want to make sure he is loved and secure is that wrong?”

“No, it isn’t, but you were on the receiving end of it in the first place.”

“I was stabbed!!”

“That’s what she said.”

“You know what, all of you just shove it!” They laughed raucously as they did sound checks.

“But for real, when is Piglet coming home, I have so many sleeping spots to show him!”

“I would love to show him some of my anime.”

“To heck with all of that! I want to take him to the park to play, let him get some ice cream and take him roller bladin’. He would have a good time wit uncle Mammon!”

“That’s actually really nice of you…”

“No Kio, Mammon would probably try to get Rin to fake some sort of illness and petition for funds for medical bills. That good time would be his reward.”

“Dammit… I mean I wouldn’t do a thing like that!”

“Anyway he will be home soon, the doctors say that he is healthy and he can thrive home with us as long as we monitor him.”

“And I have the room all ready for him too, he is going to love the stuffed animals I have laid out for him, he loves Lady Calico, so I just filled his whole room with friends for him to play with.”

“See look, he’s nesting.”

“He’s totally the mom LOL.”

“Both of you can eat a dick!”

“I would but I’m saving room for your mother.”

“Fuck you Belphie!”

“Speaking of which, have you told your family about Rin yet?” The others fell silent and I saw how rigid Kio had gotten, he was so proud of him and yet he didn’t tell his family?

“No, I haven’t…I need the right time to tell them.”

“When is that, when he’s an adult?!”

“Look this is sudden I just need time okay?”

“Alright, then we will change the subject, the school social is tonight and I hope you all know your posts and the schedule.”

“Of course, we have been looking it over all week.”

“What should I do between songs?” He looked at me almost shyly and I smiled at him, he can be so coy at times.

“Well you’re my date of course, I would like to think we will be having a good time together.”

“Sure…That would be great.”

“Is something wrong with that?”

“I was just thinking that it wouldn’t be fair that Rin is locked up in that place while we go have fun. I want him to come too.”

“Well you know how he is around strangers; we don’t need him wreaking havoc at a school function.”

“The fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“What is what supposed to mean?”

“You said wreaking havoc like he was some kind of damned wild animal!”

“I didn’t mean it like that, I just didn’t want there to be a panic when all those strangers freak him out!”

“So it’s better that he stays locked away is that it?! You want to keep him out of the public eye so he won’t embarrass you right?!”

“Whoa, I never said anything like that!!”

“But you get apprehensive every time I bring him up, why?!” This was spiraling fast, I had to do something or I risk another fight with him, I had done too much against him to bear that. I closed the distance grabbing his shoulders as he tried to back away from me, I had only one shot.

“Listen, listen to me baby, you know I care about Kenzo, I worry about him in there just like you do! I just feel that taking him out right now would be a shock, just like that first day. If we even tried to take him to the social then he may be afraid and lash out at others and they wouldn’t see him the way he truly is! It will set him back in his progress and that isn’t what is best for him. You know that right?” He pouted but nodded, good.

“How about we have our own little party, everyone from the house could be there and we would have games and things for him to play. It would be another opportunity for him to get to know the others.”

“Yeah, I wanna see the little guy!”

“I’m telling you, Piglet is adorable, I don’t know how he came from these two. And he’s got a temper like Satan’s too!” This was the first I’ve heard of it.

“What?”

“The last time I went to visit one of the doctors was trying to get him to match the cards, you know the game. Well he got frustrated with it and wanted to quit and the doctor said that he receives no juice if he doesn’t do the game and I tell you no lie, he threw a fit and ended up biting the guys pinkie off! It was epic!”

“OMG Remember when Satan was younger and he took a fork and jammed it right into your hand Mammon because you tried to take his pudding? You were stuck to the table for hours!”

“Why ya gotta remind somebody of somethin’ like that?”

“So he has problems with his anger? Why didn’t anyone tell me that?” Kio fidgeted and I turned to him.

“I mean everyone gets mad, I didn’t think it was that bad…”

“Until…?”

“Look he got frustrated with a game and I tried to encourage him to continue and he growled at me well I didn’t put up with that and I was going to punish him and he lashed out at me. I mean he healed me as soon as he realized what he did and he was crying he was so sorry!”

“He was not sorry about that doctor though.” This changes things, if his anger is anything like mine then it would be difficult to control him. If he sees that he can strike fear in us then he will use that power to do as he pleases.

“How many times has he lashed out at you Kio?”

“Just the one time, and he was so sad after that I know he won’t do it again, we finished the game together. I’m teaching him to handle himself.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yes, I’ve been there so I know what I’m dealing with.” Wrong, you were learning to control _your_ anger, mine is totally different. Yours stemmed from a deeper issue, from pent up grief and frustration from a life that cheated you. I was born from wrath, I am wrath, it was all I knew until I learned to hide it and keep it in check. Rin is much too young to have your anger, which means we are in for real trouble.

“Okay…just let me know if it happens again okay?” He relaxed and nodded, Kio is the last person Kenzo would attack, if he makes that a habit then it was possible this family wasn’t possible after all.

K

“I want to go outside Daddy.” We sat across from each other as we stacked blocks to make a tower. Rin had been looking sad the past couple of days and I hated it, it wasn’t fair that I would tell him stories about magical lands and oceans and adventures when he had never felt grass under his feet.

“Well you could if you do as the doctors ask you to, you keep wanting to quit and you get mad at them. These tests are to help you learn.”

“I don’t like their games, they don’t leave me alone.”

“They just want to see how you are developing and learning. You aren’t being too easy on them either Rin.”

“Tch, I don’t care.”

“Kenzo, why aren’t you taking to them? They want to know your level of communication but you refuse to tell them what you want. You wouldn’t even be having these issues if you would do more than growl and bite them, they think I’m making it up when I say you can talk!”

“I don’t want to talk to them! They make me mad, they always poke me and make me do things for treats. I don’t like their games I don’t like their smell, they are mean!” He swiped at the tower making it fall, I sighed and started the tower over again as I continued.

“Do they hurt you?”

“They… poke me a lot, they poke me with these little spikes and they take my blood away.”

“Those aren’t pleasant, but that is their job, we all have to get our blood taken once in a while.”

“Do all children have to grow up like this?” Oh no, I wasn’t prepared for this, he was only a month old and he sat there looking like a three year old with the vocabulary of a ten year old. I wasn’t sure if either of us were ready for this conversation.

“Some children do, when they are sick or very special.”

“Which am I?”

“You’re special of course, no one your age can do the things you can. They want to know what it is that makes you unique, that’s why they have all those games and tests.”

“I don’t want to be special, I want to go outside and play!” Damn, he knew how to get my heart.

“I know Rin, you will soon-”

“You say that all the time and you always leave me here alone!! You don’t care about me, you won’t take me outside you always leave me here!!”

“DO YOU THINK I ENJOY THAT?!!” He flinched and sat back, I had never raised my voice at him before and it frightened him.

“Do you think I want to leave every day without you? Do you think I want you to sleep in that cold room alone? Do you think I don’t want to take you away to play, play in the grass and swing for the first time?! I want to take you home! I want you to sleep in your bed and play with the toys I have ready for you, I want you to be at the breakfast table every morning, I want to see you running in the house having fun, I want to see you bond with your uncles!”

“Daddy, I’m sorry, please don’t cry…” I wanted so much for him and it wasn’t fair that he couldn’t have the simple pleasures I should be able to provide for him!

“But that cannot happen until you cooperate with them, you have to show them that you can do this! I know it sucks but if you can do as they ask then they will let you come home with me!” He looked down and sighed sadly.

“I don’t want to talk to them, I don’t trust them.”

“Could you at least talk to Dr. Namtar? He cares about you, you know.”

“He’s okay I guess…I’ll try.” He started putting blocks on the tower again and I watched him as he worked.

“You’re going somewhere special today…you’re wearing different clothes.”

“There is a get together for the school, sort of like a fair, we have to play music there. I told you about our band.”

“Yeah.”

“We are going to have our own party here soon, Dr. Namtar gave the okay and we will have lots of snacks and fun games and you can get to know your uncles better.”

“But I’ll still be in here. I know, I know, I’ll try harder…” Something felt tense between us at this moment and I didn’t like it, he was always able to talk to me.

“Daddy?”

“Yeah little man?”

“Maybe…we can have the party outside? I would still be here, but I want to play in the grass, I want to feel the sun.” I thought about this, it isn’t a harrowing request, and they could run their tests about his reaction to plants and other organisms…

“I think I can arrange something, if we work together, I think we can get what we want.” I held up my hand and he high fived me.

“It’s a plan!” I looked around his room, the only thing he had was a bed with the blanket Sae had given him, his large stuffed kitty named Lady Calico and a small cd player he listens to our music with. Here was a small barred window he could see the outside from, but the way the awning was he could never even feel the very pale glow of daylight. He needed more than this, he deserved it, maybe one day soon I will take him to the human world so he could know what real sunlight was.

“Good, we can do this.”

S

“We don’t go on again for a while so I think we should get something to eat, maybe play a game or two, what do you think?” I held my partners hand as we walked along looking at the many lit up booths with food and games and prizes. There was also a drink bar for other students to socialize, this whole thing was Diavolo’s idea of trying to ensure the students had a friend or two or could make friends, it seemed stupid on paper, however the result was nice, at least everyone seemed to be having a good time.

“What’s that booth?”

“That is the icebreaker booth, you pull a card and it has a starter for a conversation, you give that card to someone you want to have that conversation with and it helps break the ice.”

“That’s really cool, I bet you came up with it.”

“It was a group effort but yeah it seems very good in theory.” I felt a hand go into my back pocket and I turned to find no one there.

“Kio, did you put your hand in my pocket?”

“What, no…you okay?” It was odd, I swore I felt someone there.

“Well I think I want to go to the funnel cake booth, that looks really good!”

“Good, go and grab us some I’ll get some drinks.” He nodded and headed away and I left in the opposite direction. I had been feeling anxious ever since I learned about Kenzo’s anger, I kept thinking about what that would mean for us, how can we handle it? And then he came back from the visit talking about having an outdoors party, it wasn’t that I was against him playing outside but how will he act when we tell him to come back inside? What if he throws a fit and he lashes out?

“Satan, long time no see, you guys did beautifully as usual.”

“Lexxane, how are you?”

“I’m well, though the girls and I have been a little curious as to what’s going on with Kio.”

“What do you mean?”

“You haven’t heard?”

“Heard what, what do you mean?” I knew Lexxane well enough that she wasn’t particularly conniving but she as smart and she carried herself with an air that demanded respect for it. If she had a secret to tell, she would be sure you asked for it.

“Well after you two had that horrible fight he had been really upset and then suddenly things had gotten better.”

“We made up, it’s no big deal.”

“Yes but I heard word that weeks later the Kiostans have completely disbanded. There are only three official groups now, and I find that pretty suspicious.”

“Suspicious how?” She sipped her drink with a playful glint in her eye as she leaned into my ear.

“Well, you didn’t hear this from me, but there was a dispute about why Kio had put space between himself and the Kiostans, even the other groups know that it isn’t like Kio to turn away his friends, which means something…juicy happened.”

“What do you know?”

“Rea had questioned Ari who said that Simi had said something to him and she denied that vehemently. But you see the only ones that had the most contact with him were Simi because she was in class with him and Ari because they were doing a project together, or so she says. Anyway it became a huge fight that ended in them completely shutting down the Kiostans, but that isn’t the last of it.”

“There’s more?”

“They won’t allow anyone else take up the group, so unless those girls get back together Kio has no physical following.” Kio wasn’t even bothered by his following, not since we had gotten Kenzo, he didn’t even mention the girls…the very reason we had gotten into such a mess.

“Now Lexx, if you are going to dish, you have to dish it all.”

“What is it Rina?” She tucked her pink hair with a raised eyebrow and looked to her friend with a smirk.

“Well, word in the halls is that Ari had tried to rape Kio and that was the reason why he left the Kiostans.”

“What?!”

“Seriously Rina, there was a reason I didn’t tell that part!”

“Well rumor or not he has the right to know! Anyway I heard that Simi had suspected some foul play especially when Kio was being so distant and went to Rea about the situation. They noticed that Ari was acting strange too and when they questioned her she turned it all on Simi, calling her a traitor. She was like: ‘no one loves Kio like I do, I would do anything for him, how dare you accuse me of doing anything wrong to him!”

“But how would they know anything about rape, that’s a serious offense.”

“Yes I know, but there were two things that lead them to believe this and I heard it from the twins themselves. One they said they had a school project to do together which they went along with until they realized that there was no way for that because they shared no classes! Two, Yuki saw Ari go after Kio that afternoon of that big storm and they left together.”

“That doesn’t mean she assaulted him, it just means they hung out together.” They looked to each other and I felt sick to my stomach.

“Rea found Kio’s choker under Ari’s bed…the red one, not his black one.” The one I gave him on our anniversary…

“The one he wore the day they left together.”

“The last day he had anything to do with them. Now I know well enough that if Kio is taking his choker off then chances are other things came off too. And it could have been played off as a hookup if Ari’s face wasn’t bruised the next day.” I hadn’t even noticed that day, I was so angry with him that I didn’t realize he was missing anything by the time he came home.

“And if he had been the one that assaulted her, he wouldn’t have become so closed off and timid. And we all know he isn’t an actor, not for something like that.”

“Needless to say it caused a blow up, and the girls argued like hell. They didn’t have concrete evidence that she did what they were accusing so the next best thing was to split the group.”

“And to prevent it from happening again they don’t allow any of the other girls resurface it. So as of six weeks ago, Kio has no physical following, no support.”

“And Ari hasn’t shown her face at school since then.”

“Is that going to be a problem?”

“I suppose not, but what would Kio think of that?”

“I’m not sure, he hasn’t mentioned it, or anything about that day.”

“And that is why I think it’s all the more sus. If he was taken advantage of I hope he is okay. We will never abandon you Satan, no matter what the other members are doing.”

“Thank you, that means a lot.”

“Of course. We’ll take off, give Kio hugs for us.” They left and I took another drink, trying to ease my nerves; this was supposed to be a secret between us, it was supposed to be taken to the grave! And now it’s floating around school what she might have done, it will only be a matter of time before she tells them what part I had to play. Once Kio finds that out…I’m done for.

“Good news, they had red apple funnel cake! This stuff is hot too and so good, here take a bite.” He fed me a piece and I exclaimed in pleasure at the taste, trying desperately to hide what I was feeling.

“That is really good.”

“See I told you! I’m just glad I managed to get some before Beel sniffed the booth out.”

“Yes, that’s very fortunate.”

“So what were you talking to Lexxane and Rina about?” Oh damn.

“You saw that.”

“I couldn’t help but notice the way they were whispering to you. I figured they had something important to tell you.” That tone…was he the jealous one now?

“They wanted to tell us how much they enjoyed the show so far.” What do I say, how much do I tell him?!

“Oh.” He was definitely upset at that answer but I know him, he won’t show it.”

“I mean…they did say more.”

“That’s not my business, they can tell you whatever they want, I trust you.” No, it wasn’t jealousy, but resentment. I made such a mess over something he had just seen me do, I was such a hypocrite.

“They were telling me about your girls, did you know they broke up?” He stopped walking then and looked at me alarmed.

“No…I hadn’t spoken to them in weeks, I had no idea.”

“They got into a fight after…what happened between you and Ari.”

“How would they know that?”

“You left your choker at her house.”

“ _Fuck_ …I was looking everywhere for it too! Sae, I’m so sorry, you must be so humiliated, I’ll find some way to make this right!” No you adorable idiot, I’m the one who humiliated you!!

“I’m more concerned with how you are feeling.”

“Me?”

“You were violated Kio, that wasn’t right, she took advantage of you.”

“I mean…yeah that’s exactly what it felt like but I just didn’t think about it like that, I just thought it was all my fault. I should have seen the signs, I should have stopped her sooner, I shouldn’t have gone to her house.” I shouldn’t have paid her to sleep with you.

“It isn’t your fault, a lot of guys get drugged and violated, and hardly any of those ever say anything about it. But it doesn’t make it any more your fault.”

“I guess, but even still, thank you.”

“For what?!”

“For forgiving me, I betrayed your trust and you took me back. After you had been so afraid I would hurt you I had done it anyway, and yet you found it in your heart to continue loving me anyway. I know I tell you all the time but I keep putting you through hell and you keep putting up with my bullshit. I really don’t deserve you Babe.” Stop it, you are tearing my heart apart, I can’t take this guilt.

“I told you that I love you Kio, and I don’t want you to beat yourself up about it. Let’s put it behind us again, I don’t want this evening soured by the past.” I pulled him closer and put my arm around him as he slid his hand in my back pocket.

“Hey, what’s that?”

“Well what would be my ass, seems like you feel better already.”

“No jackass in your pocket!” He laughed as he pulled out a folded card from my pocket and handed it to me.

“This is one of the icebreaker cards.” I wonder how it got there…

“Must have been an extra one then. I opened the card and I paled at the words written on it. _What is the worst lie that you’re keeping from someone you love?_

“What does it say?”

“It’s blank, I guess it was an extra.”

“Oh, I guess you stuck it there earlier then, no big deal.” Someone put this in my pocket, someone who knew what had happened. Someone was either going to make sure I felt the full weight of what I had done, or they were trying to see me react. Was this some sort of game or was this a personal vendetta? Either way, it stood to ruin my life.

“I was thinking, we should get an order of funnel cake to take back to Kenzo, I think he would like the treat.”

“Oh yeah for sure, he would love that! Dr. Namtar and I think Rin would do great outside for the first time. If he does well at this party then he will be soon to come home. I know you’ve been nervous about it, what with his anger and all, but you guys don’t know him like I do. He is sweet and gentle, and so smart. He isn’t too great with puzzles and gets frustrated with them, but he’s a whiz in math, they say he is at a first grade level already. But he can’t read at all, I was wondering if you could help him out. The doctors are focused on his puzzles and colors but they piss him off entirely too much and he won’t work with them so it was never covered.”

“Yeah…I would be happy to.”

“You alright Babe?” I looked at him and gave him by best smile while inside I felt sick and afraid. Someone was out to get me, was it Ari, was it one of the other girls? Would they soon send hints to Kio as well?

“Yeah, I’m okay. Let’s go play a game together, maybe we can win Kenzo a new toy as well.” He smiled and I pulled him close as we walked, this was supposed to be a good night together, but already I could feel I was heading into a nightmare.


	10. Building Bonds, Breaking Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Both are feeling the intense pressures of guilt and though they hide the brunt of it from each other, it is only a matter of time before emotions bubble over.

Chapter 10

K

“Come on Barb, you know I hate it when you dance around the real issue.”

“And what issue do you think that is Kiomè?”

“The reason I haven’t told my family about Rin, I mean the whole thing is complicated, I figured everyone would understand that.”

“Of course, this whole thing has come as a shock to you, and you wonder how your family will take to it. There is nothing wrong with that.”

“But?”

“However I cannot help but wonder if there is another underlying reason or reasons why.” Good ole Barb never changes, every week is another torture session, as if explaining how I let myself cheat on Sae wasn’t bad enough he wanted to know every emotion I felt during. I know his process works but damn, it hurt.

“No.”

“No?”

“What do you want me to say to them?! That I got drugged and made it to third base with some girl who said she was my friend and because I was in a horny stupor I nearly raped my partner, screwed up and made Rin? That will be a great way to break him into the family, here’s my illegitimate son, have at him!” I fell back onto the couch with a sigh, thoroughly fed up with this session. There was that damn silence again, the silence was told me he knew there was more for me to say on it and he won’t let it go until I said it.

“I cheated on my boyfriend…my first real relationship, that lasted longer than a week mind you, and I cheated on him. I don’t even know how he can smile around me anymore knowing that. And I know that’s why he’s wary of Rin, he’s a walking reminder of what I’ve done to him. I mean yeah it could’ve been worse, I could have gotten her pregnant and then that would be a total shit storm. But it’s the principal of the thing, it has been about four months since Rin left my heart and Sae has only been there to visit him three times, three times! He says he always has stuff with student council or whatever but I mean Belphie is on student council and he shows up for him more than his own father. You can’t tell me that isn’t the reason for it. How do I bring my family in on that?”

“Do you think Satan is ashamed of Rin?”

“I don’t know, he feels something towards him but he’s hiding it.”

“Does that make you ashamed of him?” I sat up at that, I wanted to make sure I heard him right.

“I adore my son, I would do anything for him even if it took my own life to do it! There is no way in hell I’m ashamed of him! I’m ashamed of myself, he didn’t ask to be here, it was my screw ups that did this, and I’ll be blessed if he has to suffer for it.”

“If that is the case then shouldn’t you have a discussion with him about it?”

“He doesn’t really want to talk about it, and what is there to talk about that we haven’t already? I messed up plain and simple.” He wrote his notes and nodded and I glanced at the clock, wishing it was later than it was.

“So how does having Rin in the fashion you did affect your self-esteem?”

“Excuse me?”

“Well the first year we had to dive into your feelings of inadequacies about being a man and your insecurities about your sexuality.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Does the manner in which Rin was created affect that in any way?” I really thought about that, the way the guys would rip into me about being a mother was annoying…a little too annoying.

“Maybe…I don’t like the idea of being the ‘mother’, it makes me sound…”

“Feminine?”

“Yeah, I mean just because I like guys as well as girls it doesn’t make me any less of a man. And I’m not ashamed of Rin, I just don’t like the fact that they think of my nurturing behavior as…motherly. I’m just being good to him.”

“Of course you are, from what you have told me and the things the young master has divulged, you are an amazing father. I think you get a little bit of that affection from your mother; you two are close right?”

“Yeah, she used to tell me all the time that I came from her flesh, I was a part of her heart and that she loved me more than air. And truth be told I will never love anyone like I love her, it’s like she is my sanctuary, she loved me truly before I knew how to do so. Now that is something I’ll never give up. So yeah, I want that for my son, I want him to know what that feels like, to be loved like that.”

“I think that’s great. There is one more thing I want to ask you.”

“Oh only one?”

“You told me what happened between you and this other student, and yet you keep saying that you messed up and down yourself.”

“Where’s the question?”

“If you were drugged, you would not have taken things as far as you had with her, you said that yourself.”

“What’s your point? You want me to go over how much of a sleaze I am again?” He was silent, I could feel his eyes on me and they felt heavy; but this time he sighed and clicked his pen, which by now meant he was choosing to change the subject.

“I know you are itching to go to that party, so I will let you off with a little time today. I really think the two of you should talk that issue out.”

“I know…it’s just complicated.”

“If you two want to make it work out between you then you have to. There should be no secrets between you.” He was right on that, I wasn’t sure how much longer I could hold onto this guilt, and if clearing the air once and for all could help then I was all for it. I wanted to stop by the toy store first so that I could get Rin a present for his party, the more color and friendship he had in his room the better. I was caught between the blue bunny and the green pig, which would he like? Would getting both be spoiling him? I decided worse case I could say the other was from Sae.

“Kio?” Simi stood right beside me, I was so deep in thought that I hadn’t even seen her walk up and she startled me.

“Simi? Hey, what are you doing in this neck of the woods?”

“I was just getting some groceries when I walked by the window; I haven’t seen you in a while. I mean other than class.”

“Well yeah, I’ve been really busy lately.” She stood in the middle of the aisle nervously, she had something to say, and after what Sae had told me I wasn’t in the mood for it.

“Listen…are you-”

“I’m fine, really, I couldn’t be better actually.” The look in her eyes said she knew better and that made me uneasy.

“Friend, you’ve changed, I’m worried about you.”

“Well you don’t have to, there is nothing to be worried-“

“I know about what happened with Ari.” I felt sick, was I a bunch of bathroom talk at school now?

“What did she tell you?”

“Nothing, she denies it! She said I was trying to put so much blame on her that I must have done something wrong but I know you Kio! She hurt you didn’t she?”

“No, she didn’t hurt me, nothing happened. I’m fine, so please drop the subject Simi.”

“Then why did you leave us, why couldn’t you at least talk to us if there was nothing wrong?”

“I told you, I had to put some distance between us, I wanted to make peace with Sae.”

“Distance is one thing Kio, but you didn’t even tell us that you just said not to contact you and then fell off the grid!”

“What is your point, what is it you came here to say?” I felt like such an ass, what Ari had done fucked me up so bad that I was sure Simi only wanted more fodder for their locker room stories.

“That this wasn’t your fault friend, what happened to you wasn’t your fault,” It was completely my fault, I shouldn’t have let it happen to me.

“I have to go.”

“Wait Kio!” She hugged me and I felt nothing but fear and I shoved her away, why was I breathing so hard?!

“Don’t touch me!! Just keep away from me, keep your hands off of me!!” What the hell? Why did I push her like that, and why am I going into a panic attack?!

“Kio, it’s okay calm down, you need to breathe!” I closed my eyes and counted backwards, the last thing I needed was to pass out in the middle of this store.

“So it’s true.”

“What’s true?!” Did I have to ask? The reason I left the girls wasn’t just because I didn’t want to make Sae upset. I have been going home to study alone, I separated from everyone but my housemates. I wouldn’t have thought anything of this, but I hadn’t had an attack over something like this since…Asmo…

“She took advantage of you didn’t she?”

“No, I mean she…nothing happened!”

“Kio it’s okay, what she did was wrong, you can report her!”

“NO! I’m not doing that, I just want to be left alone, I don’t want to deal with it anymore!” She pulled my red choker out of her bag and reached forward to hand it to me.

“It wasn’t your fault friend.” I took it in my hand and I couldn’t swallow the lump in my throat.

“She used me…she knew I was hurting and she took advantage of me.”

“You should report her, what she did, that wasn’t right. It was during school hours technically RAD can do some-”

“No, I don’t want to do that okay, I don’t want to dwell on it anymore. Just leave it alone Simi please…” She softened and sighed before picking up the toys for me.

“Listen to me, I am your friend okay, I won’t hurt you. If you need anything, you can talk to me okay?” No, now you put this in a perspective I didn’t like, it was different when I thought of myself as a simple sleaze, now I was just some tick mark on a girl’s belt. I was so damn pathetic.

“Yeah, thanks Simi, I have to go.”

“Is Tèa expecting?”

“What?”

“The toys, they are for a small child.”

“It was nice talking to you.” I paid for them quickly and got the hell out of there, I didn’t want to think of that day anymore, clearing the air was the furthest from my mind now.

S

“What do you want from me, what the hell do you want?!” As if the note in my pocket, the pictures in my locker or the recording on my voicemail weren’t enough I receive a letter in my room with Kio’s red choker and a picture of us when we went out on our anniversary.

_Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. And yet you were all of those things, you let your anger and jealousy taint something precious and the longer you let it fester, the more it will kill you. You know what you’ve done, confess your sin unless you want it to kill him too._

So that was their game, they wanted me to tell the truth? Was that why the icebreaker card had that particular question? Why, don’t you understand that I cannot do that?! _Unless you want it to kill him too…_ what was this doing to Kio? He thinks he was a horny jerk who slipped up, but the fact was that he was humiliated for nothing more than my need to prove a point. He should hate me…he should know the truth.

“I can’t, I can’t do that…” What if the weight of his own guilt was crushing him too? Was he not telling me, or maybe he was and I just wanted this matter squashed. But even if that was the case, my choice would either to kill him quick or to kill him slow…

“Hey Babe you in here?” I quickly crumbled the letter and turned around with a smile.

“Yeah I’m right here, you ready to go?” He looked like he was upset as he sat his bag down and I felt sick. Did he receive a letter too, did someone say something to him?

“How was the session?”

“Same bull as usual, Barb tells me I’m fucked up and I try to guess how much.”

“Well his process had worked so far.”

“Yeah, I guess.” He sat on my bed with his face in his hands and I sat next to him. He hadn’t been this low since his first year here, I remember having to deal with his depression, I felt so helpless watching him suffer. I massaged his shoulders and he let out a pained sigh. Something was hurting him, and I had a feeling it was me.

“That feels good.”

“You want to talk about it?”

“I’m so over talking right now…” I sat farther back and pulled him into my arms kissing his neck.

“Talk to me Kio.”

“I ca…I can’t…”

“You have to, I know that look in your eye, you want to cut.” He sobbed lightly and I held him tighter. What have I done to you now?

“I’m so sorry…I keep embarrassing you with what I did. I don’t mean to keep bringing it up but…”

“But what; say it, it’s okay.”

“I was feeling like shit over what had happened, and she was there. She was nice and she listened to me and I trusted her, I could relate to her. When she invited me to her house I didn’t think anything of it, I didn’t want to go back inside that school and she let me take a hot shower, clear my head. I should have known…but I just felt so lonely, I wanted someone to talk to. I just needed a friend…but she used me…” He started to cry and as I thought, it was all my fault.

“Baby it wasn’t your fault.”

“All this time I thought I was just some asshole but it was because I didn’t want to think about what really happened. How could I have been so weak that I let that happen?”

“Don’t, you are not weak, nothing of the kind! This wasn’t your fault, you have to believe that!”

“She lured me back there, she drugged me and then she tried to… And then she had the nerve to tell me she loved me!! She used me, she hurt me, you don’t do that to someone you love!”

“I think you handled yourself well, I think you did what you were supposed to, you got out of there. That doesn’t make you weak, not at all! You are so strong; you found yourself in a shitty situation and you made it through. Don’t ever think otherwise!” I couldn’t take this, this pain…this guilt…this was killing him and I was to blame.

“Baby…I did something…I did something very bad…” He sniffled and I felt his hand in my hair, his touch was so gentle and loving, that it broke my heart.

“What’s wrong?” The words were stuck in my throat, _I caused all of this, I did this to you._ I couldn’t form them, I couldn’t take this pain and yet if I said it now it would only cause him more. He turned to me, cupping my face so tenderly that recoiled and he reacted by kissing my cheeks.

“Hey, come on, I didn’t want to bring you down. Babe, please talk to me, Sae? What’s wrong?” I was terrified of what would happen if I told him, how much will he hate me, how miserable will I be for the rest of my life? I’ll deserve it no matter what.

“Whatever it is, we can work it out, I know we can. I love you.”

“I can’t…I’m afraid…” He held me close and I couldn’t stop shaking. I would never know his touch or see his beautiful soul again…

“It’s okay, you don’t have to be afraid of me, I’m sure whatever it is it’s not as bad as it seems. Did you threaten the girls? Were you the one that shredded Lucifer’s coat and pinned it on me?” I wish it were one of those.

“I…I…”

“Hey, you guys ready in here or what, the lil guy is waitin’ for a bash and we gotta bring it!! Whooo!!” Mammon, burst open my door and I quickly turned away.

“Yeah come on, Piglet’s waiting for us! He is going to love this new pillow, he said the one he had was stiff and hard.”

“Hey…are you guys alright?” I coughed to hide my cracking voice as I got my jacket.

“I’m fine, I haven’t been feeling too well lately. I may be coming down with a cold.” That much wasn’t a lie, I certainly felt sick.

“Kio, you good?”

“Yeah, Barb just brought up some shit I’d rather forget is all. You know the deal.” They looked at us for a few seconds and decided not to press.

“Well we are gonna be downstairs.”

“Yeah…” They closed the door and I was both afraid and glad, would he want to continue? I turned to see him holding two stuffed animals with a smile.

“Blue bunny or green pig, which do you want to give him?”

“I…uhh, the pig.” He tossed me the stuffed toy and pulled a few more items out of his bag.

“Kio, your choker…how…?”

“Oh, Simi gave it back to me, she was the one that brought all of that mess up. I’m sorry I ruined your good mood.” How was that the choker?! I took it in my hand and even felt the inside, it was velvet, the studs were gold and the buckle…it was chipped. This was the one I had gotten him for our anniversary, the other was new and had silver studs…then whoever did this…

“I’m just happy you have it back.”

“Yeah, come on, let’s go.” He headed out and I took a few moments to catch my breath. Someone is trying to get at me, and whoever they were, they were doing a good job at it.

K

“Come on little man, this is going to be epic! I Told you I would get you outside.” I held his hand as we walked through the facility to the back doors. Everyone had set the field up so all they needed was him, he looked up at me with such happiness and all the bad shit I felt earlier melted away. I made this little guy happy, he loved me, I would never be ashamed of that.

“Alright, now we have set up a barrier surrounding the area, he is not to go outside the barrier understand?”

“Sure, sure got it.” Dr. Namtar looked at me skeptically and then to Rin.

“Do you understand; you are not to pass the yellow ribbons.” I looked to Rin who looked to me and he sighed. We had made a deal after all.

“Yes, I understand. I’ll be good, I promise.” The doctor was very pleased to hear this, other than me he was the only one Rin chose to talk to. Hopefully by the end of the day that would change. The door was opened and the glow of outside stunned him, compared to my home, daytime in Devildom looked like dusk, but even this amazed him. He looked to the ground and timidly stuck his foot in the grass before reaching down to touch it, petting each blade in his hand.

“Hey Rin!”

“Over here Piglet!”

“Let’s party little dude!” He saw everyone and looked up at me before taking off into the field. I laughed as he tripped, rolling a few times only to get up and keep running. I walked out slowly watching Belphie, Mammon and Satan start a game of tag with him as I thought about earlier. He wanted to tell me something, something he had done and he seemed so upset about it. What could he have done that would make him feel like that? I watched him play with Rin and they seemed a little rigid with each other, Sae never said he was ashamed of Rin, nor did he act hatefully towards him in any way; but I couldn’t deny that there was something wrong, and I had a feeling it all had to do with what happened. I had to find a way to get these two to get along.

“He seems to have no adverse effects to the plants and soil, and he seems to be having a good time socializing.”

“Yeah, he seems perfectly fine, does this mean he can come home?” The doctor watched ahead as we walked alongside each other, there has been some adversity when it came to Rin lately, I cannot deny that.

“He is your son, I acknowledge that and you care for him deeply. I simply have my concerns when it comes to him.”

“What concerns are those? He does your puzzles and weird games, he is just as smart and capable and healthy as any child his age!”

“That is the thing Kiomè…his age. It had been four months since I removed him from your heart and he looks close to a human three year old! Don’t you find that a little alarming?”

“Well yeah, he’s developing quickly but it isn’t anything to be alarmed about, he should level out soon right?” He didn’t answer that, it seems like no one wanted to answer me lately.

“I think…he would be okay to go with you, but I will need monthly visits and check-ins. And I will need a report if anything, I mean anything changes with him.”

“Alright, he will be so excited to hear this! And don’t worry, he will cooperate.”

“He speaks so eloquently for someone his age, I didn’t even believe it until he asked me for a juice the other day.”

“He doesn’t like the doctors much, and I understand why, he isn’t treated like a kid here. He needs to experience other things than those four walls.”

“I understand…I just hope this is for the best. I know you are a great father, he trusts you, just please don’t take advantage of that.” I really didn’t like his tone.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“He has serious problems with his anger, you don’t see it but when you aren’t around…he lashes out at the drop of a hat. In truth most of them are afraid of him, he’s a different kid when you come to visit him, it’s like Jekyll and Hyde. Knowing who Satan is, it isn’t hard to see that he had gotten his temper from him, but adding in your own abilities…he’s dangerous, plain and simple.”

“You think he will hurt others?”

“Looking at him now he seems happy as can be, he has no problems with anyone that I can see but I’m still worried…he changes with you, so I know as long as you stay by his side he won’t hurt anyone.” I hadn’t known any of this, he’s always so sweet and kind, I would never think he was dangerous, angry yes, but not dangerous.

“If all goes well then you can take him home tomorrow.” If all goes well, why did he say it like that?

S

“Father, why don’t you come by?” I held Kenzo’s hand as we walked along the outskirts of the party. He seemed to want to stay by me despite the others wanting more to do with him. It wasn’t that I didn’t like him, I liked him a lot, it’s just that…

“I told you, I have student council work to do and homework of my own. I want to come see you more but I’ve just been busy.”

“Tch…sure okay.” He seemed more like me than I had anticipated, on top of everything else.

“You don’t have to take that tone, and don’t suck your teeth at me.”

“Whatever.” He looked away from me and I felt my anger spike, he had the gall to outright disrespect me like that?! I had never heard of him doing this!

“Kenzo, do you have something to say to me?” He didn’t respond, in fact, he ignored me completely. I gripped his hand tighter.

“Rin I asked you a question!” His glare brought me right back to a moment I had a similar argument with Lucifer. He was trying to lord over my existence as he always did and I was not trying to listen to what drivel he was trying to spill. But seeing the similarities, and knowing how he was born…I can’t unsee it…

“Let. Go.” He really just growled at me! I cannot show him that I fear him, that was out of the question but this was going downhill fast. Control your anger Satan, how would Kio handle this?

“Why don’t you tell me why you are so upset, I cannot fix it if you don’t tell me.”

“You don’t want to fix it, you know what you’ve done! You don’t want to fix it!” My mind shouldn’t have gone there, I shouldn’t have started breathing so heavily like I did.

“What do you know about what I’ve done?! What makes you think I don’t?!!” He looked at me surprised and I let his hand go.

“You’re afraid…”

“I am not afraid of you!”

“I don’t mean that.” He can sense emotions just like Kio can, of course he can dammit; I don’t have the strength to hide this from him too.

“Father, did you do something bad?” Now what do I do? I had forgotten he can read minds too, what does he know? How would I hide this from Kio now?! I’m losing my mind, I can feel it, like with every mentioning of that damned deal I feel a bit of my sanity being chipped away! I felt tiny arms around my leg and I looked down to see his kind eyes, he flipped like a switch.

“You feel really bad, you’re hurting.” He knows well enough…I was hurting…I felt like I was slowly dying from this anxiety and I deserved every bit of it.

“I’m sorry Rin, I’m not feeling well…I did do something bad…and it makes me feel really horrible…”

“But Daddy says that we all do bad things sometimes, as long as we do more good than bad and try to not do the bad then we never have to worry.”

“I know, he’s very wise…Oh Kenzo look!” He turned to see a rabbit eating some tender leaves at the edge of the clearing. He was mesmerized by the creature and instantly went for it before I could stop him.

“Hi…what is your name?” He was so fast! He had moved twenty feet almost instantly and was reaching out to pet it. I expected it to run away but instead it sniffed him interested and he petted its head with wide eyes.

“It seems to like you…” He picked it up gently and cuddled it close, listening to it.

“I can hear his heart, Father, can I keep him?” If I wanted to earn back some points with him it would be wise to say yes.

“Well it wouldn’t be nice to take him away from his home, you wouldn’t want to be taken away from all of us right? As long as he wants to stay you can play with him but he will have to go to his home. You can visit him here whenever you like.” He didn’t like that much and his face showed it.

“He may have a family at home, what would happen to a little bunny if his daddy never came home?” He thought about it and put the rabbit down, it took a few ginger steps before taking off back in the brush.

“I wish I could go away from here.” I petted his head but he turned away from me.

“Kenzo, you will come home with us soon, this day is going well. Soon enough you will come home with us.”

“Not like you care.” He spotted a tree and began to climb it, I noticed yellow ribbons tied to the branches and I could feel some warning signals from this.

“Kenzo…you should get down from there.”

“You don’t want me, you don’t care!” He climbed higher and higher, jumping from branch to branch recklessly making them crack.

“Kenzo get down here now, before you get hurt!!” I began to climb up behind him, my heart was racing, I could never show my face if anything happened to him!

“Go away!!” He leaned out onto a limb that was way too thin even for his little body, he was way too high!

“Stop, go back! Don’t do that!”

“Why, you don’t want me, you don’t come by! You don’t love me! Just go-” it snapped and he began to fall. He didn’t know how to brace himself and hit a few of the branches on the way down. He could be severely injured from that height! I leapt from the tree and caught him in my arms midair, protecting him with my body as we hit the ground hard.

I don’t know how long I was out…but I saw Rin shaking me as he cried. There was a slight ringing in my ears and my shoulder was on fire but at least my limbs were okay.

“Hey, are you alright?” He wouldn’t stop crying and he looked down to my leg…a broken branch had impaled my calf. Well scratch that last remark then. I looked up and I could barely make out the broken limb he had fallen from, we must have fallen about forty feet, I could have landed that on my feet…I wasn’t thinking.

“Father, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry!” He had a scratch on his face but for the most part he was okay which made it all worth it.

“It’s okay, I’m glad you’re safe.” I pulled the wood from my leg, biting my tongue hard so not to scream and frighten him, I couldn’t even use my left arm, I must have dislocated it, I snapped it back into place, which I couldn’t get away with without a whimper. I suddenly felt hands on me and the pain lessened until it was gone. Aside from a pair of torn and bloody jeans I was unharmed.

“I’m sorry, I was bad and you got hurt.” He looked so sad, he was just acting out because he was angry at me. I pulled him close and hugged him tight, he was like me in a lot of ways but he was so much more like Kio, and I adored that about him already.

“Just be careful, next time, I’ll teach you how to climb the right way and how to catch yourself if you fall.” I stood up, brushing myself off and trying to hide the bloodstain on my leg. He brightened at that and then his face fell.

“If they find out I disobeyed I won’t be allowed to go home.”

“Then we won’t tell them that, we fell playing, we aren’t hurt so no harm done right?” He smiled at me for the first time and I felt happy as he took my hand again.

“Okay, I’ll be good from now on, and we don’t have to tell Daddy.” Sure, what was one more lie I had to tell him?


	11. Homecoming and Coming Clean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kio finally gathers the courage to tell his parents about his new son, he expects the homecoming to go well, but drama is always close behind.

Chapter 11

K

I sat in tiny chair by the little table in the middle of the room that I had spent my first two years in Devildom in. Now I would be passing it on to my son, I painted the walls a light teal to go with the blue carpet, the ceiling would remain white, but so would the door in case he wanted to decorate it for himself. I had spent the past month or so gathering every stuffed animal of every color I could find. He would keep my old bed but I had gotten him a bunny sheet set and blanket as soon as he told me how much he liked them. Maybe we could get him his own pet rabbit.

The carpet in the center had letters and numbers for him to remember and know what the sounds stood for, as well as he could speak, he still couldn’t read. He didn’t make the time for it with me and other than Sae, no one knew how well he could talk. I had wondered why he refused to open up to the others, he knew Belphie well enough and yet he would give him one word answers at most. He did seem to warm up to Levi for some reason, I’m not complaining though, as long as he got along with us.

I kept thinking about what Dr. Namtar was saying about Rin’s behavior when I wasn’t around. He had said that he was a different child, that he was mean and spiteful and aggressive. I didn’t want to believe that, I wanted to believe that he was as sweet and kind as he had always shown me. It was why I had chosen to let Sae and the others pick him up, I wanted to know how he would behave if I wasn’t around. Why would he be so mean, was it all a misunderstanding, did he simply not trust them? I wasn’t sure, I had to know.

“Are you planning to have a tea party in here?”

“Sure, Tèa you can sit between Mr. Hippo and Lady Flamingo.” She laughed as she sat down and I poured her a pretend cup of tea.

“Do you remember when you were about four and I dressed you and Lai up in the prettiest dresses and had a tea party just like this?”

“I remember I was supposed to get cookies out of it, and never got them.”

“Ha, ha! We had so much fun when we were little, you learned how to drink from your teacup perfectly.”

“When in doubt, pinky out.” We laughed, I needed that, I had so many painful and uncertain thoughts in my head.

“Rin will love this room, he will love it here. You’re a fantastic dad, our parents would be proud.”

“Our parents…I need to call them, I should tell them about Rin.”

“Wonderful! You know Mama has been bugging me about grandchildren for months, her first question when I call is how far along I am.” I couldn’t hold back the chuckle, our mother loved having a big family, I wouldn’t be surprised if they had more children of their own if we didn’t put our foot down about it. Why add more children when the ones you have attack each other?

“Will…will you sit here with me, while I call?”

“Of course, I’ll be right here with my tea.” I took a few deep breaths and pulled out my original cell phone and dialed our mother, putting it on speaker; she picked up after two rings and suddenly I didn’t feel ready.

“Kio! Baby how are you, I haven’t heard from you in weeks, I was getting worried!”

“I’m fine mother.”

“What’s wrong, you sound really down.”

“I’m okay, I…I have something I need to tell you.”

“Okay.” I choked and I looked to my sister who nodded and took my hand.

“I don’t really know how to tell you this…but…”

“What is it, are you okay? Are the other kids bullying you? Did Satan do something to you, do I need to set him straight?”

“No, Mama, we’re great really!”

“Then what is it?” I picked up my cell phone and scrolled through my gallery until I found a picture of Rin and I and sent it to her.

“Let me know when you get it.”

“Okay…aww, look at this little cutie! He’s adorable, oh my goodness, he reminds me of you at this age!”

“Yeah…he’s really special to me.”

“Aww what is his name?”

“Kenzo…Kenzo Rin Minamino.” There was dead silence for several seconds, and then she screamed.

“You’re joking!!”

“No mama.”

“I have a grandson?!!”

“Yes, he’s your grandson.” I thought I was going to pass out from nerves as I heard her yell excitedly.

“Oh my goodness, he even has your beauty mark!! Wait…Maku, what girl did you knock up??”

“None mother.”

“Then he’s Satan’s?”

“Well sorta, see that’s the part I didn’t know how to tell you.”

“Wait I don’t understand, is he your child or not?” I was freaking out and my sister cleared her throat.

“Mama, this is a complicated matter, but the fact is that Rin is both of theirs biologically.”

“Tèa? Ok explain this to me, I don’t get it.”

“Well…there was an accident and Kio was stung by Satan’s tail. His vitals regenerate automatically as it turns out and the broken down cells in his heart merged with the cells in Satan’s venom creating a cancerous growth.”

“Okay…”

“But you see it was supposed to be just that, cancer from the venom, but because Kio can produce stem cells those cells grew organs, limbs…a brain. Now he is a functioning demon and the first born of his kind.”

“Holy shit…” She could say that again.

“The physicians here have been doing research on him for the past few months and he gets to come here to the house today.” It was silent again and my heart pounded, would she just take that explanation, would she ask how I was hurt?

“He came from your heart Kio?”

“Yes Mother, he did.”

“That is so adorable…I have a mago. I honestly thought Laika would be the first to bring me a child. I owe your father money.”

“I heard that Mama!”

“Lai you have a nephew!! Look at him, isn’t he amazing?!”

“Mama, he will be home soon, I have to go okay?”

“Okay, sure, sure! Send me more pictures and call me later!”

“Okay bye!” I hung up and I thought I would faint, she took that well and it would give everyone else time to let the news sink in before I had to bring him home to them.

“And you thought it would go wrong.” I smiled at her, she was such a big help to me. before I could answer however I heard a door slam and yelling.

“What the hell is going on now?!” We raced downstairs to hear Satan arguing with Belphie and it looked like it was getting heated!

“Look I’m just saying that if you bothered to show up for Piglet more then maybe you would know he’s allergic to devilberries!”

“So now I’m a piece of garbage because I wanted to get him ice cream?! No one said anything about allergies to me!”

“Well that would be because you would either make up student council obligations or outright ignore it! If you were really working in student council we would know about it since we are all members!” Levi and Mammon were doing their best to keep them from coming at each other and poor Rin cowered in the corner covering his ears. I should have told Sae that he had a Devilberry allergy, but with all the other stuff I had forgotten and I hadn’t though they would take him out for ice cream.

“Guy’s it ain’t that bad, the kid only flared up a little and it went away!”

“If he were a normal child he could have died, but his own father didn’t think of that! You can’t use Rin’s abilities as an excuse to abuse and neglect him!”

“He picked it out, I only gave him what he wanted!! That isn’t my fault!”

“It is because he liked the color of it!! You should have checked the ingredients to make sure it was safe! As his father you should have known that!! First day and you nearly kill him!” They looked like they were about to fight and I grabbed Satan quickly as Tèa held onto Belphie with Levi.

“Hey Babe look at me, calm down okay, it’s alright. It was just a mistake you didn’t know, he didn’t know Belphie!”

“That is the whole point!! He should have known, you have been there for him every day and I at least came by once a week! How often have you come to see your own son Satan? Like three, four times; I don’t need a full hand I can tell you that!”

“You shut your mouth before I shut it for you!!” This was getting bad, we couldn’t hold them apart much longer. Suddenly I felt my feet leave the floor and my back hit the wall hard.

“NO!! No, no, no, no, no!!” the wind was taken out of me from the force and from the groans of the others I knew they got the same treatment. Rin stood at the center of the floor his eyes glowing bright green and small horns curling from his head. His tail lashed back and forth violently and he breathed heavily as he growled at us. In an instant he was gone deep in the house and we all fell to the floor with a collective thud.

“What the hell was that?!”

I think it was the yelling, he doesn’t like the yelling, Belphie if _you_ knew him better you wouldn’t have started that shit!”

“Don’t put it all on me!”

“Alright would ya just stop already! The little guy just took off, and ya wanna fight?!”

“Mammon’s right, we have to find Rin, this was supposed to be his welcome home!”

“And we ruined it…” The six of us hung our heads in shame, I just wanted him to be home, I should have been more focused.

“Lucifer is at Diavolo’s so we need to get Beel and Asmo to help us look for him.”

“Yes, we’ll split up and look everywhere.” Satan and Belphie certainly didn’t look like they wanted to be done with their ‘conversation’ but they nodded anyway. I grabbed my partners arm, pulling him closer as he grumbled.

“Hey, you alright?”

“I’m fine.”

“It wasn’t your fault, Belphie had no right to go off on you like that.”

“Tch, like it matters.” He pulled his arm from my grasp and left, some homecoming this was.

S

_“Well I know he’s attracted to you, he wants you, but he’s too shy to admit it. He’s been very pent up lately and he needs a special someone to put him at ease. He’s been stressed with school and the band, he makes no time for himself and he needs someone to take care of him for once. You like him right, do you think you can help him?”_

_“What exactly am I supposed to do?”_

_“You are to do the one thing that you both really want to do, you’re going to sleep with him.”_

_“How can you ask me to do that?!”_

_“I see the way you act around him, if he lifted you against this shelf right now you would spread your legs and welcome him.”_

_“I’m not some sort of slut!!”_

_“I never said you were, if you like him and he likes you then what harm does it do?”_

_“Then why doesn’t he approach me?”_

_“Because he always takes care of others before himself, he’s liked you for months. Ever since you walked into our summer shoot in that blue halter bikini he has had his eyes on you. In this book over thirty thousand grimm.”_

_“So now I’m a whore?”_

_“Nothing of the kind, consider this a gift for helping my best friend.”_

_“I can’t, I won’t do this, he’s a good person!”_

_“Which is why he needs this, and you are a good person too aren’t you? You work at RAD so you can afford to go to school, this will not only cover your tuition for a few years but you can help your family, I know your sisters would like to have a few new dresses, something good to eat?”_

_“What are you doing Satan…what are you planning to do to him?”_

_“Are you going to take it or not, but if you take it there is no turning back. Very good, now all you have to do is get to know him intimately, and record it when you do. I don’t care how, you can play that by ear.”_

_“What if he refuses me?”_

_“Then try harder, if he truly doesn’t want you, then he will make it clear. Don’t take any half assed refusals for an answer if it isn’t a clear no then it’s still a muddled yes.”_

_“What if he really says no?”_

_“If he clearly refuses then you keep the money, help your family and pay for school. If he doesn’t…then you get to fuck Kiomè Minamino…maybe you’ll be his girlfriend…either way you luck out.”_

Of all dreams to have, of all things to remember vividly the night before I’m to go out and get Kenzo, it would be the conversation that started it all. Kio had been so torn apart yesterday when he came home from his session, He hadn’t accepted that he was violated until then and deep down I didn’t want to either. It was easier to assume that they started making out mutually and he snapped out of it. But the more I think about the potion she used and how much it affected him, the more I come to realize the horror of what I’ve done.

_Don’t take any half assed refusals for an answer if it isn’t a clear no then it’s still a muddled yes._

I told her to not accept refusal unless it was clear.

_I don’t care how, you can play that by ear._

I told her to use whatever method she pleased. I had assumed she would make a pass at him and he would accept, or at the very least he would eventually give in! But the fact that I said those words and the actions after hurt him the way they did, meant I didn’t set him up to betray me, I betrayed him by setting him up to be assaulted! As though the original way weren’t horrible enough, this sent me to a new low. What’s worse is that I will have to look at the product of my foul up for the rest of our lives. It was why I hadn’t been by, it was why I couldn’t bear to look at him. And it was why I ruined his homecoming.

“Rin, come out little buddy, nobody’s fightin’ anymore!” Mammon searched the planetarium as I walked by, obviously not having any luck.

“He’s not in the kitchen!” Beel called out, his mouth full, everyone was searching for him and yet he wasn’t to be found!

“Kenzo! Where are you, are you in here?” There was no one in the library or the living room. He hated the confrontation and lashed out, he flung all of us and pinned us to the wall like we were rag dolls. That alone made me sick to my stomach.

“I checked the attic and mine and Beel’s room, he isn’t there either.” Belphie gave me a sideways glance and sighed. I knew he was right, if I had paid more attention to him, if I listened more closely when everyone spoke of him then I would know more about him! I couldn’t admit it, because to admit that I refused to have anything to do with him meant that I had to acknowledge the fact that I blame him. I don’t blame Rin for any of this, he is just as much a victim as Kio is.

“Look I’m sorry alright? I just I saw him swell up like that and I freaked out. You only wanted to treat him, I shouldn’t have gotten so mad about it.”

“You’re right, I should know him better…I just…”

“This is hard for you, I get it, you didn’t ask for this responsibility and honestly I’m glad as hell it didn’t happen to me. But he’s a good kid.”

“I know he is…” This guilt…it was crushing me…I couldn’t breathe, everywhere I turn I see reminders of that wretched deal I made. I can’t even stand in this library without seeing her looking at me in fear.

“Hey Satan, you alright?”

“No…I’m not alright at all…” I couldn’t stop shaking, no matter what I did I wouldn’t come out of this without losing everything.

“Does it have to do with that drive I found in your locker?”

“What?!” He looked around and closed the library door, before turning around. He looked at me long and hard as he sighed and he pulled a drive from his pocket, it had the words look inside written on it.

“I wanted to borrow your demonic chemistry book and there was this drive on top of it. I was curious and then I saw the pictures…of Kio and some other girl.” My heart sank.

“I thought it was pretty fucked up, like I thought Kio would never cheat on you. But seeing it, wow…I wasn’t going to say anything until I saw the video…”

“Of…him and her?”

“No. Of you and her, in this library.” Someone has been trying to mess with me for weeks, I had assumed it was Ari but if this video was of me and her when it first happened…it couldn’t have been her. This was someone who knew from the beginning…someone who was at the party!

“Satan…why the hell did you do that?”

“I…I was mad…he made me so damned mad!! I wanted him to see my point, that they would use him! But I fucked up…I fucked up and I hurt him so bad and now someone is tormenting me about it!” He let out a long breath and leaned against the door.

“I mean, I can’t say you don’t deserve that, but what would they have to gain?”

“I thought it was Ari, I thought she was going to extort me for more money but if there was a video of us then it couldn’t have been her. I don’t know what this other person’s game is, they just keep telling me to confess.”

“From what I saw, that seems about right.”

“But why? Why go through all this trouble just for me to confess?”

“Isn’t it obvious? This is pretty messed up, I would say you pimped him out, but even pimps do that for profit, you did this just to hurt him. Can you imagine how PISSED he is going to be when he finds out what you did?”

“Yes I know that!”

“But it will be ten times worse if he finds out from someone else! If you have any hope of reconciliation, of redeeming yourself, you should tell him, before this wacko does.” Could he be right? Was this mysterious person trying to help me in their twisted way? But even if I told him, there was no guarantee of anything, Kio will despise me, he will hate me for what I’ve done and I deserve that.

“You’re right Belphie.”

“Are you going to tell him?” If he finds out from someone else then I stand the chance of being mutilated let alone broken up with. He may be soft hearted, but when he’s pissed he’s a force to be reckoned with, and I was certain a fight would ensue no matter the route I took. But this guilt…his pain, I couldn’t take it anymore.

“Yeah, I’ll tell him, just give me a few days.” He nodded and opened the door.

“You’re doing the right thing.” He turned to leave when I grabbed his shoulder forcefully and pushed him back against the bookshelf.

“Something just occurred to me, you aren’t taking demonic chemistry this semester.” He sighed again and I pushed him back hard.

“WHY?? Why did you do all of this?!!!”

“You know why! I enjoy our group, I enjoy this band, I enjoy having Kio as a friend! If you tell him the truth then there is a chance, _a chance_ that he would forgive you because for some weird and twisted reason he’s in love with you! But if Ari or someone else says something to him that ruins everything we have. You may lose your boyfriend but I will lose a best friend, we will lose this band and it will be _seriously_ awkward come summer when Elie expects us all to come back! He won’t want to stay here, he may not want anything to do with us! What you did didn’t just affect you two but all of us!” He had a valid point, what if Jetèa and Lucifer come at odds over it as well? This affects all of us, not just the two of us.

“And you two have a child to think of now, if you want a chance you have to step up!”

“Okay! I’ll…I’ll do it.” He relaxed and opened the door again.

“Next time you want to keep a secret think about who else it hurts, and make sure no one snuck away to nap in Lucifer’s study.” He left at that, I wasn’t sure if I should be angry or relieved. My own brother, but I wasn’t being extorted, I guess that was a save…the only one I’ll ever get in this case.

K

“I could have sworn he would go in his room if he saw all the toys in here!”

“We know he’s in the house Kio, just take it easy.”

“But why won’t he come out? No one is fighting, we are just worried about him, he should know that!”

“Kio, he’s fine, he’s in the house! He will be okay and he can defend himself.”

“What if he went into the tomb…what about Cerberus?!”

“Okay, stop right now, sit down and take a breath!” I sat on the bed and tried to breathe as my sister tapped her foot.

“Baby brother, I know you’re worried, I know you’re scared, but Rin will be okay. He is somewhere hiding in this house, he may just be mad and hiding from us.”

“I know, you’re right. I should have been more focused on him, he doesn’t like yelling and I know that. I should have comforted him.”

“But if Satan and Belphie broke into a fight in front of him that would have been worse for everyone. You know that, you have to stop doubting yourself, you’re a good father.” She hugged me close and I tried to repeat that to myself over and over again; I am a good father, I am a good father. But right now my son was lost in the house and he could be scared.

“We have to keep looking, and I don’t want Sae and Belphie going at it again. Belphie has been on Sae’s case for days now, I keep telling him to back off.”

“Do you think something is going on between them?”

“Whatever it is, it’s got Sae wound tight as hell, this is already stressful, I don’t need anyone set off.”

“I know, I’ll check on Belphie okay? You calm down and keep searching.” I stood, holding a stuffed bunny as though it held the secret to the mysteries of my heart. I don’t want anyone to hurt him, I don’t want anyone to take advantage of him, he can be so kind. What am I thinking, he’s just a kid, he isn’t even in school yet. But having Rin has made me very paranoid when it comes to others aside from family, I won’t even tell my classmates about it. I want him safe and with me, it’s the only way I know he’s okay. I stepped into the hallway to see Sae standing there lost in thought. I was going to call out to him but the look in his eyes…like he was anguished. Why was this thick blanket of sadness, guilt and fear filling the hallway like smoke? Did he fear for Rin too, did he feel his running away was his fault? I closed the distance, touching his arm making him jump.

“Hey, it’s okay, take it easy. Are you alright?” He looked at me and then past me with empty eyes as though he were looking to the future or distant past. I touched his face and brought him back to the present, a faint smile dancing on his lips as he brushed back my hair.

“You know how I know you still love me? When you look at me like that…just like that, it’s like looking into starlight. How much longer will I have to see such beauty, what will I do when your light for me fades?” He was so sad…I didn’t understand what he was talking about but I knew that whatever it was he was feeling it must have been killing him.

“Babe, you don’t have to worry about that, I love you and I’ll love you until it isn’t possible anymore.”

“I know you will.” I did not like the way he said that at all. I grabbed his hand and pulled him into his room, I’m so sorry Rin, just wait a little longer.

“Okay listen to me, something is wrong and I need to know what it is. You look like shit and…you feel worse.” What is wrong Babe?” He wouldn’t even look me in my eye as he sat in his chair; I knelt in front of him taking his hand in mine.

“I’m not sure I can really tell you that right now.”

“I can’t fix it if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.”

“You can’t fix this, I got myself into trouble and it’s all my fault.”

“Is this about Rin? You didn’t know he was allergic, it could’ve happened to anyone. And he knows better than to bribe treats he shouldn’t have. I don’t blame you for that at all.” He chuckled as he kissed my hand and leaned his head back.

“Belphie was right…you love me…Sheol knows why.”

“I don’t understand.” He wasn’t making any sense, was he guilty about the ice cream or he fight with Belphie?

“Belphie shouldn’t have jumped your shit, I don’t understand why you guys are fighting.”

“Because he knows I’m no good for you, plain and simple.” He stared at the ceiling and I felt so confused, he wasn’t making any sense but I knew whatever it was, it wasn’t good.

S

What was I even doing right now, I should be looking for Rin, not letting my lover in on my melodrama. He loved me so much, I could see it, and I am no good for him. Even now he looked at me so confused, he should hate me, he should leave me.

“Maybe…this isn’t what is right for you, I should leave…before I destroy you.” 

“What, Sae what do you mean?! Are you breaking up with me?! What did I do?! I don’t understand!” He looked so afraid and he began to cry, even now I was hurting him, he gripped my arm, searching my face.

“Kio…I’m sorry…”

“Please tell me what I did, tell me what I did wrong, you can’t just break up with me and not tell me what I did!” He was hurting so much, I couldn’t take it, I cupped his face looking into him as his soul went dark. It broke my heart, to see him with no light, just like the day we became friends, I can’t take such darkness in him. I wanted to save him from more pain and I killed him inside.

“Baby, you didn’t do anything wrong, you did nothing wrong I’m just no good for you. If I stay, I’ll only hurt you more.”

“Don’t you think I should decide that?! Am I not half of this relationship?! If I say I want you then _I want you_! I swore to you that I would never let you go again and I am not going to, not without a fight! So don’t you try to break things off with me talking about I deserve better or you’re not good for me when I chose you! Especially when you won’t tell me what is wrong with you!” He climbed into my lap brushing my hair back, I felt sick to my stomach as he kissed my forehead and I reached up to grab his waist.

“Do you love me, hmm? Do you love me?” I shouldn’t be with him, and yet I couldn’t break his heart. He makes me so weak…

“Yes…I do, I love you.”

“Do you want to be with me?”

“Yes.”

“Then stay with me, okay? Stay with me…” He kissed me and I pulled him closer, holding him tight. I wasn’t strong enough to leave him first, the only thing left was for him to know the truth…then I really would lose him.

“Mmm…I don’t want broccoli…” We looked over to the bed simultaneously but saw no one there. Kio got up and looked underneath and turned back to me with the most adorable face.

“He’s sleeping, he has your pillow and one of my shirts as a blanket, how sweet.” I knelt down and saw him curled up hugging my pillow with one of Kio’s shirts over him, he looked…precious.

“He wanted something familiar, I suppose he got tired and these things smelled like us.”

“Lift the bed, I’ll get him.” I lifted it up and Kio carefully pulled Kenzo into his arms and cradled him to his chest. I saw so much tenderness in his eyes as he rocked him, and it was then I saw his soul, it was like soda bubbles. This child made him so happy, even though he was only here because I messed up, he gained so much heartache and this little boy mended it so easily.

“I’m going to put him in his bed, can you tell the others we found him?” I nodded and he smiled as he left. What am I even doing, I tried and failed to break up with him, and it only left him alarmed and asking questions. The only thing I can do now is tell him the truth, I needed more courage to do that, I can’t bear what will happen then. But this guilt, this pain I feel and seeing him this way is destroying me.

I walked down the hall to see Kio and Kenzo cuddling in his bed, and they looked so pure and sweet. He talked so much about him being our son and us being a family and I just couldn’t hold onto that view. Belphie was right, I was horrible, I did nothing to get to know him. When I spoke to Kenzo yesterday he knew I was lying to him. I cannot give him the love and devotion he needed from me, I couldn’t be a parent to him. It had nothing to do with the boy, but because when I saw these two together I saw a family…and I just didn’t fit into the picture.


	12. Playtime and Betrayal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Satan realizes that the truth has to come out now or never, he can no longer withstand the guilt of his crime. At the same time he feels out of place in their new 'family' unit. Will an afternoon of family bonding ease the tension, or stir up more trouble?

Chapter 12

K

I had no idea how long I was asleep, but when I woke up I saw my son lying next to me, watching me with curious eyes. He had surrounded us with stuffed animals, and it seemed he had taken a liking to his bunnies.

“Daddy…you had a weird story in your head while you were asleep.”

“Oh…that was a dream.”

“A dream?”

“Yes, it’s…pieces of our life experiences, we try to put them together, make sense out of them. Sometimes there are things that bother us and our minds are trying to solve it.”

“Oh, I get it.”

“Don’t you ever dream?”

“Sometimes I see pictures from the stories you read me, but other times it’s just that room and their stupid games.”

“Well you will have a great time here I promise and then you will have good dreams okay?” He smiled as I petted his head. My dream…Sae had been acting so odd these past few days, like something was breaking him down. I dreamt that some dark shadow had come and swallowed him, leaving nothing but an empty shell of his old self doused in fear and pain. I had meant to come back to him, but it seems even my mind was exhausted, I hope he wasn’t upset with me.

“Come on little man, it’s time to get some breakfast, it’s the weekend so we have all day to play together.” I lifted him up and set him on the floor and he took off around the room skipping and laughing. I opened the dresser to find him some decent clothes to wear, normally he would wear his grey medial outfit that made him look like some sort of inmate, but no more of that. I dressed him in a white t-shirt and pair of jeans and because it was chilly I gave him a teal green hoodie to wear and a pair of simple brown shoes. He liked this new look he stared wide-eyed in the mirror as I brushed his shoulder length hair and put it in a half ponytail.

“There, see? You look better already.” He smiled and bounded out of the room with laughter, I needed a shower so I opted to let him explore, Tèa had told me that I needed to let him go once in a while, with eight others in the house he should be fine.

S

I made a complete ass out of myself yesterday, I let myself be so bogged down by grief and fear that I frightened him, now he knows something is wrong! I’m not ready to tell him, I don’t want to see that pain in his eyes again and yet I can’t just go back and say nothing is wrong now, he knows better than that! I let him sleep in there with Kenzo, I wouldn’t have been able to face him after something like that but now I’m running out of options.

“Father, what are you doing?” He startled me, I hadn’t heard him walk into the kitchen behind me.

“It is my turn to make breakfast, I decided on some eggs, ham and pancakes with fruit.” He looked over to the counter with curious eyes and I reached for a strawberry to hand to him.

“Are…are you allergic to strawberries?” He looked up at me and then away with a saddened face.

“It’s my fault you got yelled at, I’m sorry, it was such a pretty color. I thought I would be okay.” I remembered how excited he looked to have his first ice cream cone, when he saw the purple magenta swirl he nearly jumped for joy. I just wanted to make him happy.

“I know, it’s okay, it isn’t your fault.” He reached for the fruit and sampled it before eating it whole, this time nothing happened.

“These are so good!” He beamed at me and I handed him another, at least I can make someone happy around here.

“Last one, now off you go, you don’t want to spoil your breakfast.” He nodded as he walked away. I liked Kenzo, he wasn’t a bad kid, but I didn’t see myself as his father as he called me. That was my fault though, I had that coming.

“I heard there was a lot of commotion going on yesterday, he decided to play a bit of hide and seek?” Speaking of messed up relationships.

“It was fine Lucifer, just please drop it.”

“You seemed a little stand offish about him, I hope you remember what I said.”

“I hope you didn’t come in here just to nag me!” He crossed his arms and I did my best to ignore him, I can’t take all of this pressure, there was too much going on and too much at stake!

“You know you and Kiomè are the only ones he talks to that way, I had no idea he couldn’t even speak that fluently. That means that he trusts you a deal greater than he does the rest of us.”

“Your point being?”

“Don’t mess it up.”

“Just get out!” He sighed and left as I put everything on the platters. I didn’t even have an appetite at this point.

“Well get a load of this spread.” I heard Kio’s voice and my heart skipped a beat, how can I ever face him after what I’ve said?

“It will be ready in just a moment.” His arms wrapped around my waist and I felt his warm breath on my neck that sent shivers down my spine.

“No, I mean this meal right here, good morning.” His hands were quickly under my shirt and his kisses on my neck made me weak. I wanted so much to love him, but…I didn’t deserve that.

“Kio, please…not here.”

“Then come upstairs with me, I think you and I need some quality time together.” He wanted to talk about yesterday evening, I knew that and I wasn’t ready for it. But the way his fingertips grazed my skin, I just wanted this damned aching to go away and he seemed the perfect remedy.

“You would miss your first breakfast with your son?” He chuckled and I felt his lips on my ear.

“He was the one that said you needed me, he said you were sad and needed a friend.” I keep forgetting to hide my emotions around that child!

“Come upstairs with me, we don’t have to be long, I just want to talk.” I gripped the counter as he nuzzled me, I shuddered thinking of how far south this could go.

“Okay…just let me finish here.” I put the food on the platters and he helped me place them on the table. He took my hand gently and he led me upstairs to our room and I felt a slimy lead ball in the pit of my stomach. What will I do, how am I going to get through this?

He shut the door behind him and he pulled me in to put his mouth to mine before holding me close and I felt my throat close, why are you doing this, why do you love me so much when I am such a monster?

“I know you probably don’t want to talk about it, but there is something wrong with you. I love you Babe, I just want to make it better, tell me what’s bothering you.” I can’t tell you, not now, but I had to say something.

“I…don’t think that I’m bonding too well with Kenzo, I know he likes me well enough but I just don’t see myself as his father. When I see you two together I see a family, I see love and this bond, but I don’t believe I will ever have that with him, and I know that isn’t good for either of you. You deserve a partner that can be a good father to him, and I can’t.” He listened patiently and though I wasn’t lying I still felt horrible that I was hiding the main issue.

“Okay, well that’s no reason to throw in the towel, he likes you and he knows who you are. You can be here for him now, we can be a family, so don’t worry!”

“You really think we can be a family?”

“Of course, we are a family! You just have to relax, it will be okay, Rin loves you.” He seemed relieved at my problem, probably because he thought it was much worse. If he only knew.

“How about we take him to the park today, we can have some real family time and you will have a chance to bond with Rin.”

“I would like that, that would be fun.” He smiled and hugged me again. I wish this was the only problem I had, but I knew what I had to do.

“Are you sure you’re okay? Was that all?” I had to tell him.

“I think…I want to focus on today, I want today to be about the three of us, but tonight…we need to have a serious talk.”

“Okay sure, let’s go down to breakfast then.” I’ll tell him tonight, no matter what happens, he has to know the truth. But right now we will be a family, and maybe I’ll have one final day to see what my life could have been. 

K

I was glad that he was able to tell me what was wrong but the way he said he wanted to talk tonight made me a little anxious, but I saw from the smile on his face that whatever it was it wasn’t on his mind right now. We sat at the breakfast table with Rin between Sae and Levi in a booster seat; I loved seeing us all together like this, this was what a family was. Knowing that Sae and I had a son gave me all the courage I needed to overcome the mess I had made. We would be okay, I know it!

“Hey Piglet would you like some syrup for your pancakes? No, Beel don’t drink it!” Beel looked over and sat the container down and smiled at Rin.

“Sorry, would you like some?” To my surprise he responded by grunting and reaching for it and before I could correct him Sae was already on it, grabbing his hand.

“Why don’t you use your words instead of just grunting like that?” Rin didn’t take well to the reprimand and growled at Sae.

“Now you know better than that!”

“Why don’t you lay off of him?!”

“Yeah leave the little guy alone!” There they go, jumping on his case again, I couldn’t take that.

“You guys don’t get it, he can speak just fine, he shouldn’t be allowed to be impolite!”

“What?”

“No way!” They looked at us in disbelief as Sae held his hand firm and looked Rin right in his eyes as he glared hatefully back.

“Kenzo, I am not going to ask again, you are going to use your words. Ask for the syrup nicely!” He tried to pull away but his father held tight and Rin growled at him.

“Stop it, you are crossing a serious line, you are not going to act like some animal. Use your words!” In a flash he changed to his demon form and sank his fangs deep in Sae’s hand making him let go. He leapt from the table to run away and I froze him dead in his tracks.

“That is enough!! Now you know better than that Kenzo Rin, what have I told you time and again about your anger?!” He grumbled at me and looked to the floor, he had never acted like this before, he had no problem with speaking to us, what was his deal?

“What is your problem with speaking suddenly, why won’t you use your words and why did you bite your father?!” He refused to look at me but I wasn’t releasing him until he acknowledged what he had done.

“Answer me Rin!”

“He wouldn’t let go…he made me mad.” Everyone looked so surprised to hear him speak a full sentence.

“He really played us all.”

“Smart little guy, naughty, but smart.”

“You know what you’ve done was wrong, that was very bad!”

“Tch…fine, just put me in time out then!” I grabbed him by his arm, he had to know where the lines where, my father wouldn’t stand for something like this from me.

“Time out? Obviously that wouldn’t work if you don’t learn to control your anger. No I think we may as well call the hospital and have them take care of you.” He flipped like a switch, he was suddenly worried and crying like a little child should when in trouble.

“No, I don’t want to go back there!”

“Then you will listen and obey the rules of this house! You are not going to lash out and act like a savage every time you get pissed off! You are going to speak and use your words when you want something am I understood?!”

“Don’t yell at me…”

_“Am I understood Rin?”_

“Yes Daddy…I’m sorry Father. I was just really mad…” I looked up to Sae who held a napkin to his bloody hand looking like he was going to go off himself.

“Sae…he’s only a child.” He took a breath and sighed as he looked to us.

“I get really mad too, but you have to learn that just because you’re angry doesn’t mean you can hurt others. It is a hard lesson, even harder when you’re already older, so listen to it now.” I sensed something exchange between them and I let him go to heal his hand. The others watched us silently and I noticed Lucifer watching Sae with real intent.

“That was an excellent display of parenting.” I had to admit it blew up but we handled it fine. I sat Rin back in his seat and we began to eat again.

“Oji Beel…may I have the syrup please?” He handed it over and I sighed with relief, I knew he could speak and he had manners, he just had to use it.

“Kenzo, why wouldn’t you speak before?” Apparently Sae was not done with the matter and Rin looked up from his food sheepishly.

“The doctors always try to make me talk, they try to make me and it makes me mad. I don’t trust them, I was afraid that if they knew…I would have to go back and show them too.”

“That isn’t very logical, I’ve known you could speak from the first day, I wouldn’t put you back in that place for that.” He nodded at that and he let the matter go, good, not too bad for the first meal together…I guess.

“I know after that outburst you made I shouldn’t, but your father and I were talking earlier and we wanted to take you to the park for family time. I don’t want to overindulge you on your first day but you have to prove to me that you can be good today, or I will be very wary of you going out again.” He perked up and looked to us curiously.

“I can play outside today?”

“We are going to take you to a place where a bunch of little demons your age play, but you cannot get angry understand? If you get angry and hurt anyone you will not go back.”

“I understand, I’ll be good, I promise.” I nodded and I felt much better, this would be a good day, I can feel it.

S

“Okay, we have snacks some juice, and an extra change of clothes in case of accidents.” That evening I packed a small bag for Kenzo as Kio put his shoes back on him, I noticed quickly that he didn’t like them much and I stifled a laugh when he tried to take them off behind Kio’s back.

“If you want to go you have to keep these on, you will cut your feet without them.” He sighed and put them back on and bounded along as we went out the door. From that exchange alone I knew for a fact that he had my anger, he had a short fuse and it didn’t take much to light it. But if we found a way for him to channel it there would be fewer outbursts like those.

“Daddy what kinds of things do they have at the park?” He sat on Kio’s shoulders as we walked looking excitedly at every tree, house and demon we passed by.

“Well there are swings and jungle gyms and slides and all sorts of grass to run around in.”

“And there will be other kids there too?”

“Maybe, there usually are.” They were so cute together, a real father and son, I kept thinking about our conversation from earlier and I felt so sick to my stomach. When this trip was over I had to tell him the truth, no matter what, if this evening goes well then I could stand a chance of us surviving.

We had gotten there and I could see all the equipment for little demons to play on and I realized I was out of my element. I had no idea how I was going to take care of a child running wildly at a park, I was grateful to Kio being here.

“Okay I am going to get us some ice cream from that stand over there, you and Rin get started without me.” He let him down and quickly left.

“Father I want to go on the slide first, can I?” I held his hand and led him to the tall slide in the middle of the park and let him go at the end of the line.

“Now you have to wait patiently, and remember, no getting angry okay?” He smiled and nodded. I watched him slowly move in the line and climb up the slide hesitating before sliding down. He looked down and froze and it worried me a little, the other children were beginning to yell at him but he was petrified. I thought back to the moment we had fallen from the tree and it was the last time he had been anywhere high. I stepped to the bottom of the slide and held out my arms to him.

“Come on, it will be alright, I’m right here. I’ll catch you!” He saw me and it only took another moment for him to gather the courage to slide down and nearly fly into my arms.

“There you are! That was wonderful!” He hugged me tight and I felt such a fondness toward him, I had cared about him as a being for a while, but the way he clung to me with so much trust made me feel like I could actually be a father to him. I reacted when he fell before, and even now I held him close to my chest, protecting him. This was nice, this felt good and I wanted to get used to it.

“Let’s go on the swings next!”

“You want me to push you?” He nodded and I let him down to chase behind him as he ran towards the swings laughing. If this was being a dad then I could get to like it.

K

It was sneaky, but I ditched the two of them on purpose so they would get the chance to bond together, I know Sae had said that he wasn’t doing too well with Rin and I needed those two to get along better if it was going to get better between us all.

I snacked on some popcorn as I sat on the far bench watching them, Sae was pushing Rin on the swings and he was going pretty high. I could hear his laughter from where I sat and I laughed as he grabbed him on his way back making him scream and giggle. Soon they were off to the jungle gym and he started to play with the other children.

“Kio?” I heard her voice and I felt my hair stand on end. My heart pounded fiercely as she walked around the bench to look at me.

“What the hell do you want Ari?!” I turned on her and stopped short, clinging to her were four younger girls who were startled by my outburst.

“I always come to the park on Saturdays to let my sisters play. Laura, Mina, Jixi, Fawn, you guys go play okay?” They looked at me fearfully and ran away to the jungle gym. My blood began to boil when she continued to stand there, knowing what she did, I can’t believe she would show her face to me.

“Get away from me.”

“I know you’re angry with me, I hate what I’ve done to you, it wasn’t right.”

“You’re damn right it wasn’t right, you fucking used me, do you realize that?!” She gripped her skirt as she looked to the ground ashamed.

“I know, I messed up, I thought that you wouldn’t want me any other way. It was stupid, to do that to you, I just…I really like you and I wanted to make you happy.” I stood at that, she really had the nerve to say she cared for my wellbeing?!

“Make me happy, make me happy??! You knew I was in a relationship, you knew that and you drugged me to try to get me in bed! What the fuck Ari?!! And you have the nerve to look me in my eye and tell me that you care about me?! You nearly ruined what I had with Sae!!”

“Oh-ho, ha! Yeah that would be a real tragedy, like he deserves to have anyone as sweet and kindhearted as you!”

“You shut your damn mouth, you don’t know anything about him! You don’t know anything of what we went through!!”

“I know he was the one who paid me to sleep with you in the first place!” My heart stopped and I saw red; that was the last straw!

“You’re nothing but a goddamn liar!!”

“It’s true, he gave me thirty thousand Grimm to seduce you, he wanted to see if you would actually cheat if you were pushed. He wanted that to happen.”

“SHUT UP, YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH, YOU DON’T KNOW HIM!! SAE WOULDN’T DO THAT, HE WOULD NEVER DO THAT TO ME!! You’re a fucking liar!”

“The middle of the left side of his neck is one of his favorite spots, he likes to be kissed and bitten here. His right side, it’s sensitive, touch him here. If you can manage both at the same time, then he is putty in your hands.” I stared at her as she pointed on her own body the places I liked to be touched, I felt sick to my stomach. I had wondered how she knew my spots, it was because he showed them to her!

“Kio…I’m sorry…” I doubled over unable to breathe, why, why would he do this to me?! This had to be a lie, some joke or even a misunderstanding; my Sae wouldn’t hurt me like this! I couldn’t stop crying, I couldn’t stop this flood of pain in my heart, my lover, my best friend, would betray me this deeply?

“Kio, he doesn’t deserve you…”

“And you think you do?! If he did that then he was underhanded and evil, but you still took the damn money and did it didn’t you?!” She took a step back and lowered her head.

“You’re right, I’m no better…I don’t deserve you either.” I sat against the bench with my knees in my chest, this pain was too much, there was no way I could handle this!

“Do you need someone to stay with you?”

“You ruin my entire life and you have the nerve to ask me that? Get the hell away from me!” She backed away and I tried desperately to catch my breath. I pulled out my DDD and dialed the only number I knew would help.

“Kiomè are you alright?”

“Barb…I’m in crisis…I can’t breathe!” I hadn’t felt this bad since the night I slashed my wrists and somehow this felt worse, how worthless was I that he could hurt me like that and then not tell me anything?! He expected me to never find out!

“I need you to focus on your breathing right now, nothing else! Yes, and out again, good. Now tell me what’s going on.” I was doing well enough to keep my breathing almost steady, I couldn’t repeat what I heard not now.

“Please, I can’t! You know what happened, I can’t say it!”

“Okay, it’s okay, just tell me what you are feeling right now, be specific.”

“Angry, hurt, sad…devastated…”

“That is understandable.”

“I know you know, did he do it? Did he really do it Barb?”

“You know I cannot discuss that, it is something you have to speak to him about. My goal right now is to bring you down from the ledge you’re on, you need to listen to me okay.” I hated running to Barb for this type of situation, I hated feeling so weak and helpless and I hated the news that I heard to push me to that point. I might have lost a lot of progress with that one conversation and I may not come back from it.

S

“Father, look at me, I’m climbing really high!” Rin swung from the monkey bars like an expert and I recorded him proudly, he was having such a fun time that I hadn’t realized that Kio never came back with the ice cream. Maybe this was his way of giving us some alone time. He was so sneaky that way, it was why I loved him. From the corner of my eye I thought I saw a familiar blonde walk my and my heart skipped. No, not her, not here! I turned and there was no one there, I nearly panicked. It only reminded me of what I had to do when we got home. Would he ever be able to forgive me for this? Would I deserve it if he did? The answer is no, I wouldn’t, but he deserved the truth and I was tired of hiding it from him.

“Kenzo? Kenzo where did you go?” He was gone in a flash and I didn’t see him anywhere near the monkey bars. I circled the area and he was gone!

“Kenzo?!! Where are you?!!” I went back to the slide and then the swings, desperate to find him, my heart racing. I heard laughing and yelling and ran toward a large oak tree where I saw some older kids picking on him!

“You smell like you have human in you!”

“Yeah are you a cambion?”

“Dirty cambions don’t belong here!”

“Go back to the human world where you belong!”

“Better yet go kill yourself!” They shoved him down again and laughed. We had instructed him not to get angry or he wouldn’t be allowed back, if not for that he would have made quick work of them, but I was well beyond my own limit of patience.

“And just what do you think you’re doing?!” They took a good look at me and cowered.

“W-w-wait, is that Lord Satan, the avatar of wrath?”

“We were just pickin’ on this Halfling here, he got lost.”

“Yeah we didn’t do nothin’.” I laughed as I changed into my demon form, towering over the little heathens.

“Excuse me, I must have misheard, I thought you said you were harassing _my son_.” Their faces paled as Rin smiled menacingly at the older boys.

“Guess who’s gonna get it…” their eyes went wide and they shivered in fear as I laughed again.

“If you ever go near my son again I will tear every claw from your fingers and jam them in your eyes. Then I will roast your idiot parents for raising such bastard children. Now you have until the count of ten to get out of my sight! NINE!!” They screamed and fell over themselves running away. I pulled Rin into my arms and he laughed.

“That was so cool!”

“Was it now, they wouldn’t like me much when I get mad.”

“They were so scared, you are so awesome Father, I can’t wait to tell Daddy what you did!” He hugged me tight and held him back, he was a good kid, a handful but he was good; and best of all he followed directions.

“Hey look it’s Daddy!” Kio came toward us with ice cream and a smile, we took the frozen treats happily because we had worked up an appetite.

“I’m glad you two are having so much fun together.”

“Yeah, Father pushed me on the swings and I went down the slide and I climbed real high!” My partners eyes brightened as Kenzo spoke so happily about his time here.

“You did? That’s so awesome little man!”

“Yeah and like these big kids were being mean to me and Father got rid of them real quick. They were all running scared!” He took Kenzo into his arms and cuddled him close, something was off about him, the way he looked at me when he took the child…like there was darkness in his eyes. And his soul looked like he was forcing it to light…it wasn’t right.

“Did he now? Well looks like you guys had a great day, it’s time for you to get home, dinner will be soon.”

“Aww, can we come back tomorrow?”

“We’ll see.” He began to walk and that was when I noticed, he didn’t speak a word to me directly. Was I overthinking it or was he ignoring me? I walked alongside them and I looked to my partner who had a poker face, if he was feeling anything, he wasn’t letting me know it. Maybe he was feeling guilt again, maybe he was worried about our earlier conversation, but no matter what I had to tell him, he deserved that.

“Kio, baby.” He turned to me and his eyes were so empty…

“Are you alright?”

“I’m great, Babe…I’m wonderful.” His smile didn’t match his soul…

“Listen…I know I said this earlier, but we need to have a talk.” He nodded and looked forward again as Rin began to fall asleep in his arms.

“Yeah, we really do.”


	13. In the Dog House

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The truth is out and the aftermath rains down, the both of them are left miserable in the wake of it. However Rin is not willing to let his parents give up; he may just be the pillar that keeps things up.

Chapter 13

S

The walk home felt very tense, I wasn’t sure why his mood had changed so suddenly but it was making me anxious, I knew I was going to tell him but the more agitated he became the more afraid I was to go through with it. Kio’s eyes looked so empty and sad and his voice was strained any time he tried to talk to me. We had gotten to the house amongst the usual chaos and crept up to Kenzo’s room and more than once he nearly stumbled trying to get up the stairs with the boy in his arms.

“Hey, let me take him, I’ll put him to bed.” 

“I got it.”

“You look exhausted; I can take him and you can-”

“ _I said I got it!_ ” I never thought he would snap at me like that, he was really in a sour mood. I watched as he tucked Kenzo in and kissed his head tenderly before passing me to go to our room. I felt nothing but dread as I closed the door behind us, he sat in my chair with a thud, folding his hands under his chin with a smirk.

“Alight you wanted to talk, let’s get it over with.” I watched him for a moment and felt the tension rise as I approached him and opted to sit on the bed instead. He was angry, and I was sure it was at me, this was not a good start.

“Kio, baby, you know that I love you. And I would do anything for you; you mean the world to me. But I made a horrible mistake, and I’m afraid that once I tell you that things will be very different.”

“Try me.” His tone was so hard, what had I done to make him this cross with me already? This would not go well at all.

“Okay…well, the night we had our fight, the night of the anniversary concert…” I felt my nerves tighten, and I took a deep breath.

“I was so livid with you…I was angry with you because I thought you wanted her, I thought you would leave me, I thought the two of you would… Anyway I went to her to confront her, I was going to scare the shit out of her, maybe rough her up some but I had gotten another idea.”

“Really…and what was that?” He gave me steady eye contact and I felt myself choke.

“I came to her with a proposition, I offered her money and she agreed to do it.”

“Alright let me stop you right there. I hear you saying shit to me, but I don’t hear you telling me what the fuck you did.”

“I…I just said-”

“NO, you’re giving me vague bullshit, I want to know exactly what the fuck you did!!” I felt myself pale, he knows…how did he know?

“I…you…know already?”

“That is what the fuck I am trying to figure out; because the fact that I had to have _that bitch_ come up to me and tell me that _my own fucking partner_ sold me out in order to know anything pisses me the _fuck off_!!” He stood and I did as well, backing up as he stared me down.

“Kio, I-”

“WHAT DID YOU DO SATAN, TELL ME WHAT YOU DID!!!” So it was her I saw before, he must have been trying to hold it together all this time, Belphie was right, I should have gotten the courage to speak on this sooner.

“Baby…I love you…I do, I…”

“You know, I lay awake at night and I feel so damned horrible because of what I did, because I let myself get into that situation. And one question I kept asking myself was ‘How does she know my spots? How did she know how to touch me?’ and as it turns out she knew my spots because _you fucking showed them to her_!!” I felt sick, of all things for her to tell him, that was the most damning.

“That shit was private!! That was intimate information between you and I and you gave it away to her?!!!” I couldn’t stop shaking, I had only seen him this angry a handful of times since he learned to control it but I could plainly see this wasn’t the peak.

“I’m sorry…”

“Did you do it, tell me the truth, I want to hear you say it!!”

“I was mad, I wasn’t thinking!”

“WHAT THE FUCK SATAN?!!!” He threw my books at me, hitting me in my shoulder and stomach before I managed to dodge more of the onslaught that came at me.

“You set me up, you had to make a point so you set me up?!!”

“Y-y-you wouldn’t listen to me, you wouldn’t listen to me and I got mad! I fucked up okay, I know I did!!”

“Fucked up, you fucking set me up to cheat on you!!! Who the fuck does that bullshit?!! Why couldn’t you just TRUST ME?!!” Jetèa and my brothers burst in hearing the screaming just as Kio had passed his breaking point. She hugged him tight with Belphie and Levi grabbing him from behind, trying to hold him back from me. Mammon and Beel stood between us as he tried again and again to attack me. I wasn’t afraid of him, if anything I wanted him to come at me, it was what I deserved.

“Kio take it easy man!”

“Calm down, what’s going on?!”

“Why don’t you tell them, huh? Tell them what you’ve done, you paid a bitch thirty thousand grimm to seduce me to prove I would cheat on you!! Tell them!!” Their eyes fell on me and I felt the full weight of their judgment, Belphie was the only one who simply shook his head.

“It’s true…I am at fault for that…I don’t deny it.” Lucifer’s sigh was audible which added to my frustration, not only was I shamed, but shamed with an audience.

“Oh Satan…”

“Bro what the hell…”

“Not cool…” Kio went from a raging maniac to outright beside himself at my admittance and that was what broke my heart to pieces.

“So it is true…you paid her…did you tell her to drug me too?!”

“No!”

“DID YOU?!”

“NO!! Kio I swear, I didn’t know she would do that to you!!”

“Oh you swear?!!! You swear, oh it’s all okay guys because Satan SWEARS!! You swore you loved me and yet you did this!!!”

“Kio I do love you, I do-”

“BULLSHIT!!! Because if you did, you would never think to do this shit to me, I would never hurt you!!” At the corner of my eye I saw Kenzo walk in and it went dead silent as he looked at us both hugging his Lady Calico plush.

“Daddy, are you okay?” He quickly wiped his face and put on a smile for him.

“Hey little man, I’m sorry, did I wake you?” Kenzo looked to me and back to him and tilted his head.

“You guys are fighting.”

“No, we aren’t fighting, we are just having a disagreement is all.”

“So…you’re fighting. Daddy you’re not okay.”

“Kenzo please, go to your room until we are done alright?” He did not look like he wanted to comply and Levi scooped him up with Asmo behind him.

“Come on, let Oji Levi show you all about being an otaku!”

“I’ll join you Levi, this might get messy.” They left and I breathed a little easier until I saw Kio’s glare on me as he pointed behind them.

“If it weren’t for your fuckery I wouldn’t have my son, I love him more than life and without you I wouldn’t have him. That is the _only_ reason I don’t kill you where you stand!” I had no response to that, the seriousness in his voice told me he meant every word.

“What hurts more than anything is that you let me go on feeling like shit, telling me that it was your fault but never saying exactly why.”

“I had planned to tell you tonight, I did, I-I wasn’t going to keep it from you much longer. I was just afraid of what would happen once I told you the truth. But I couldn’t take it anymore; you blamed yourself when _I_ ruined everything! _I_ messed up _not you_ , I hurt you and I don’t deserve to have someone as patient and kind as you! You are more than a lover to me, you’re my soul mate and I let my anger and jealousy cloud my judgment and ruin it all! I lost sight of what brought us together… I don’t deserve your forgiveness, I know I don’t, but Kio I am _so sorry_ …I truly am!” I didn’t hide my tears, I know I messed up, I know I hurt you, but please know how sorry I am! Know that this guilt is killing me inside!

“Soul mate…you’re no soul mate of mine. Just get out of my sight, get the hell out…” He sounded so tired as he collapsed on the bed, hiding his face in his hands.

“Okay, I’ll leave.” I brushed by the audience to grab a few of my clothes and put them in an overnight bag, I wasn’t even in the mood to grab a few books.

“Where are you going to go?” Lucifer voiced the question on all of our minds and I looked over to the man I loved as he cried in his hands.

“I don’t think that really matters right now.” He more than likely never wanted to see me again, the sight of me upsets him. He was right, he would never hurt me, and I betrayed him in the worst way. I’ll simply leave, it’ll make him happy to never see me again and I deserve the pain of losing him. I may have been born a demon, but I now know what it feels like to fall from grace.

K

I never thought I would feel this low…like I were sinking into the center of the universe…like I would never be able to stand again. Why am I torturing myself by sleeping in the bed we shared? Why am I such an idiot by surrounding myself with his things? I couldn’t come out of the darkness of the blankets, weighed down by grief, humiliation and his heavenly scent I couldn’t crawl out of this void if I wanted to. How long was I here? My body felt so tired and I couldn’t cry anymore so I know I was dehydrated…dammit…why can’t I just die? Why must I exist in a world that seems to shit on me even when I think the storm is gone? Did I really mean nothing to him that he would sink so low like that while I gave him my whole heart? I can’t take this pain…

“Daddy?” A faint light pierced my eyes and the heavy blanket was peeled from my face, Rin looked at me so sadly, I didn’t have the strength to hide this pain from him, I couldn’t even fake a smile.

“Daddy, you haven’t eaten in so long…Oba Tèa is afraid because you won’t come out or take any food or water.” I couldn’t move, I was so tired…please just let me die…

“Daddy, please…Daddy…” He began to cry and it was then I noticed the water bottle in his hand. No Rin, anything but that, don’t cry for me…

“Daddy, please drink some water…” he even had a little straw in it, I opened my mouth a little and he gave me the bottle. It was like my body wanted to reject and take in the water at the same time; it hit my stomach and made me instantly feel sick and I turned away a little. I won’t take it from anyone else, but I’ll do it for you, I’ll live for you Rin.

“You only got a little bit…but you finally drank some…good daddy.” He petted me and I felt some fort of relief for the first time in weeks. That smile, that soft sweet smile… I used all the energy I had to reach out to him and pull him into bed to cuddle with me. He petted my face softly, he loved me, if no one else I know my son loved me.

“Daddy I don’t want you to hurt anymore…”

“I’m sorry little man…I don’t like it either…”

“Father is hurting too, really bad.” The very mentioning of him made me recoil why would my Rin do that do me?

“Did he tell you to say that? Did he come by here to fill your head with lies?”

“Mm-mm, no, he’s been very sad since the beginning…he doesn’t hide his emotions from me.” His words reminded me of when we were little and mother would argue with father, they didn’t realize that we picked up on their sadness and anger and forgot to hide it from us. But even when you know to do it, it’s hard to hide your emotions.

“Is that right?”

“Yeah, Father was always sad when he came to visit the hospital, and he would lie and say he had work to do. But I know it’s me that makes him sad, or at least I thought it was. I don’t know what it really is, but he kept thinking of you and then he would get really sad.” I thought about that, he had been acting very depressed and anxious for a while before I had found out.

_Baby…I did something…I did something very bad…_

Was that what he meant, was he going to tell me earlier? Was that the reason why he was so weighed down with devastation before?

_You know how I know you still love me? When you look at me like that…just like that, it’s like looking into starlight. How much longer will I have to see such beauty, what will I do when your light for me fades?_

It seemed almost laughable now, even if that was the case, there was no way I could just forgive him for what he’s done. He humiliated me, he betrayed and hurt me so bad that it messed me up. And yet…

“You still love him Daddy.” I hugged my son tight and let out my breath with a shudder.

“I can’t…I can’t do it…I love him but that was too much.” He was silent for a long while I relished in his tiny gentle hands on my face, his forehead pressed against mine giving me his support.

“Daddy…when I scratched you, did it hurt?”

“Yeah, it really did.”

“I hurt you because I was mad, but I still love you. I didn’t mean to be so bad, I just acted.”

“Kenzo Rin…are you trying to give me advice right now?”

“It’s just what you said, do more good than bad.”

“Rin, honey…” What do I say to him? That one really bad thing undoes the good? Maybe, but would it undo the lesson I tried to teach him?

“I can’t…” He sighed and kissed my forehead before settling to sleep next to me.

“It’s okay Daddy, I love you, I’ll always love you.” If I had more water I would cry at those words.

“Thank you…” I suspected he was miserable, but I couldn’t think of him, he certainly didn’t think of me when he made the choice to betray me.

S

“Satan, would you like to go another round of chess with me?” Diavolo stepped onto the balcony with a boastful smile that never failed to make me sick. However he was gracious enough to let me stay with him these past couple of weeks so I had to grin and bear it.

“Why, so you can brag about how quickly you won yet again?”

“More so you can forget whatever has you so down.” I turned away from his gaze, not this talk again.

“Diavolo, you have been a gracious host to me, but I do not wish to divulge in my private life. I hope you understand.” He came over beside me and watched over the balcony; no he didn’t understand.

“You know something, it is really hard running a kingdom, it’s even harder maintaining friendships.”

“You don’t say?”

“Mm-hmm, when you run a kingdom, you know where you stand and so do others. But when it comes to friendships or relationships in general you are on equal playing fields. There is a lot of give and take, a lot of gray areas that are hard to travel through. But even if you go into uncharted territory, it doesn’t make you a bad demon.”

“Diavolo…never mind…thank you for that.” He looked at me for a moment and I suppose he figured that he didn’t succeed because he patted my shoulder and walked away. When I arrived at the Demon Lords Mansion two weeks ago I simply said that I couldn’t return home and asked to stay. He didn’t ask too many questions and dear big brother was too proud to admit such drama in his family at the moment, in fact he wouldn’t even speak to me. I figured everyone at the house is angry with me over what I had done, my actions did affect all of them after all.

“Do you think you are doing all of Devildom a favor by allowing yourself to wallow in misery?” Ah, the icing on the cake, I wondered when he would start talking.

“It is none of Devildom’s business what I wallow in.”

“Truly, then I suppose it is perfectly normal that you watch the house of Lamentation from this balcony?”

“Again, what business is it of yours Barbatos?” The butler was nothing like his master, he was precise and very direct, I love his process with Kio because it helped him, I however was not seeking counsel.

“You are watching for him right? Wondering if he will leave the house, leave the bed even. You have been anxiously waiting for him to appear like it means life or death.” I know well enough that he knows what happened, I was waiting for this discussion.

“Look I just…I worry about him, he has a gentle heart though he tries to hide it. I want to make sure that he’s okay even if he doesn’t wish to see me. I just want him to be alright, I thought he would at least be taking Rin out to play.”

“He refuses to see me, even when I came to him he refused to speak. What happened was a heavy blow for him.”

“I know alright?!! I hurt him, I broke his heart and his spirit, I saw it in his eyes! I took something I cherished and I broke it, and now I don’t know if it can be fixed again.”

“If you are speaking of Kiomè then you are mistaken, he is more resilient than even he believes he is. If you are speaking of your relationship with him, well…”

“I know it’s over, I knew it would be over as soon as I realized what I had done. I just want to make sure that he’s okay.” He was silent for a moment, I loved him, I truly did but I wouldn’t expect him to take me back, deep down I wanted to believe I would turn him away if he came to me first, but he makes me so weak…

_Do you love me, hmm? Do you love me?_

Yes…I love you so much, I love you enough to stay away and respect you when I couldn’t before.

“Hmm, I must go, we have a guest.” I wasn’t concerned about it, I tried my hardest not to be much of a burden, I didn’t want to eat, I could hardly sleep and I wasn’t in the mood to read. If anything, I was nothing more than an interactive painting.

“Satan, there is someone here to see you!” I know it wasn’t Kio, he wouldn’t come to me after all that’s happened. It must be Belphie to rub salt in the wounds.

“Father!” NO! Now I was really in trouble! On Diavolo’s shoulders was Kenzo walking over like he were riding a horse, their smiles wide.

“Kenzo, what are you doing here?!!”

“I missed you, I had to see how you’re doing.”

“But how did you know where I was how did you get here?!”

“Oji Lu said in his head that you were here, and I followed the path and it lead me here. The crows said I was going in the right direction.

“The crows, are you some sort of princess now?” He giggled as he reached for me making Diavolo laugh at our interaction.

“He is such a delight, I will get Barbatos to prepare some tea and cakes for our little guest, would you like that?”

“Yes please, that would be pleasant.” He laughed at that and left to let us talk. I hadn’t seen him in two weeks and already he seemed a little bigger, not by a lot, but noticeable to someone who doesn’t see him often.

“Kenzo, does Daddy know you’re here?”

“Nope, he thinks I’m down for a nap.”

“You need to go home right now! He is going to have a heart attack when he finds you gone and he’s angry enough at me!”

“But I miss you and Daddy misses you too!” I stopped short and let go of his hand, I had prepared myself for a lot but not this.

“He…misses me?”

“Yeah, he won’t leave your bed, he hasn’t eaten since you left either.” Dammit I knew he would spiral!

“You need to go back home Rin, you have to make him feel better.”

“You can make Daddy feel better!”

“I made him sad in the first place!!”

“SO?!” I know my life hit a low when I had taken up arguing with a child.

“What logic is that?!”

“Daddy loves you, he said so himself!”

“He…he said that, really?”

“Father you hurt Daddy bad, but he loves you. I want you happy.” Such a simple request and yet impossible, there was no way I could be happy knowing how much I had hurt him.

“Alright I have everything set up, Rin will you join us for tea?” Barbatos gave a knowing smile as he bowed to the little demon and I hated it, because it gave me the tiniest thread of false hope.

K

“Rin…Rin where did you go?” I opened my eyes to find him gone, I had assumed he finally grew bored and went to play until I saw the note of scribbles by the pillow.

 _‘Wn 2 c Fadr’_ Good grief, we need to teach this boy to read and write. After the fourth time I figured out what he was saying and sprang out of bed, forgetting I hadn’t eaten in two weeks and promptly fell to the floor. Dammit, this was no time to be weak, I had to find my son!

“Kio, oh my gosh are you okay?!” My sister’s hands were on me within moments and I let her help me stand.

“Rin’s gone, he went to see Satan. I don’t know where he is, he’s out there alone and he could be lost!”

“Satan’s at Diavolo’s, I’m certain Rin is smart enough he wouldn’t leave without knowing where he was going.”

“He’s just a child Tèa! I have to go!”

“Are you sure you’re ready to go up there?” I gripped the doorframe trying to stay on my feet. If Satan was there then it was certain I would have to see him, but I suppose that was the point.

“Yeah, even if Rin isn’t there the least he can do is help look for his son.”

“Fine, but don’t you think you should shower, maybe eat? You can hardly stand, you won’t make it there. She was right, but I wasn’t hungry.

“Okay…fine you win…at least call up there and see if he’s there while I’m in there okay?”

“Of course baby brother, I’ll do that right now.” What in the world was that boy up to now?

S

“Father, can you read me a story? I had figured after all the snacks and tea he would get sleepy and I was right. He held a book upside down with droopy eyes and I couldn’t help but find it cute. I picked him up and sat on a loveseat in the bedroom I was using and pulled him close.

“You know, it’s about time I taught you to read, once you learn how, the whole world will open up to you.”

“Neat…I know that is the letter T.”

“And what sound does it make?”

“Tuh-tuh.”

“Very good, now when you put it with an H it makes a different sound like this.” I made the TH sound slowly making him giggle.

“And the A makes and Ah sound and the T makes another ‘tuh’.”

“Very good, now put it all together.”

“Th…thhaaat…that!”

Very good! We will have you reading novels in no time!” I began to read to him and for the first time in a while I felt just a little at peace. He slowly fell asleep and when I heard his soft snores I marked our place and let him spread out to take a nap, covering him with my jacket. I wanted to see if I could call the house to let them know he was here, I had a feeling that they wouldn’t answer if I called with my DDD. To my surprise I found Kio in Diavolo’s study looking over his book collection. He looked sick and his jacket was hanging off of him, his hair was wet like he had just showered and his soul…it was darker than the night sky. How long had he been completely void of any joy? It was a crime to see him so empty.

“Kio…?” and just then, a small flutter or golden sparks at hearing his name…no, at me saying his name. He froze, he didn’t want to turn to look at me but I saw the way I still make him feel and seeing those lights again pushed me over the edge, how I missed seeing that starlight. How I missed his touch and the softness in his eyes…I needed him.

K

I heard his voice and I regretted being here immediately; I refused to turn around afraid of what I will do and say when I see his face.

“I feel like such an ass right now…I know I am the very last being you want to see; and yet…I can’t control myself. Look at you, you look so frail, this isn’t the Kio I know. The Kio I know is strong willed and childish and soft hearted. He would crack a joke and a smile before allowing a person to frown, he would bend over backwards to erase the pain of another, even if it meant ignoring his own.” I could practically feel him coming closer and I tried so hard to slow my breathing…please don’t do this, I can’t take it.

“This isn’t you, this isn’t my Kio…you don’t deserve to live in such darkness. And yet it was all my fault, you loved me when I didn’t even know what it was and you gave me the peace of not feeling the burning rage I always feel for once. You were my best friend…you cherished me…and I adored you because you could understand me in ways I couldn’t myself.” I could feel his warmth, he was right behind me but not touching me, I wanted him to, I wanted him to hold me and I hated myself for it!

“If you want the truth: I was scared. How can someone like you love someone like me; someone so full of rage, someone who isn’t set apart in any other way? I’m not like my brothers, I’m not special, and to be your first boyfriend…I grew very insecure that you would wake up one day and decide I had nothing more to offer you. I couldn’t give you a child or a family, I couldn’t help what body I was born with, and I know females were your first preference. It was why I hated seeing you with those girls, why I hated the very thought of them touching you. They had so much more they could give you and I thought you would leave me when you realized it. The very thought of you loving anyone else drives me insane.” Why didn’t you say these things, why couldn’t we have had this conversation before it came to this? I would have told you that I didn’t give a shit about anything but being with you, that I love you! I would have told you that you never had to be afraid!

“Now I’ve hurt you…it’s the absolute worst thing I’ve ever done…to see your light fade, it killed me, to know you died a little inside. But just now…when I called your name, I saw it again for just a moment. I’m not asking your forgiveness, I don’t deserve that, but please…Kio, don’t let your light go out, don’t let that darkness consume you again. You are too beautiful a person to have that happen to you.” Damn him…

“I remember when you were under Raeliel’s control, you didn’t know who I was at the time but you loved me anyway. You didn’t understand how special I was to you but you would rather die yourself than hurt me. I cannot forget the wrong you’ve done, but I cannot forget that either. I can’t forget your smile or your laugh, I cannot forget what you’ve done for me. I cannot forget how much I love you…because that didn’t change…I love you Sae, _but dammit!”_ I turned to him with tears I didn’t know I had left, seeing him there, feeling his utter anguish broke me but I just couldn’t forget.

“You hurt me so damn bad!!” He fell to his knees sobbing, I know this hurt him, I know he was suffering with this guilt and I know it had been going on for a while. But would that remorse, that pain be enough for me?

“I’m so sorry!! I wish I could go back, I wish I could go back and change it all, I wish I had the sense to never make that damned decision in the first place!! If only to spare you this pain, I would take it tenfold if it would spare you!” Dammit Sae…

S

I was completely broken; I couldn’t bear the weight of what I had done to him anymore. I sat at his feet wanting desperately to hold him but not deserving to, seeing the pain in his eyes, it was too much.

“I never deserved you…I regret meeting you, for the reason of hurting you alone.” I had officially given up, we were over, it was plain to see, and I had to start thinking of what I would do from this point, this meant I would have to leave permanently to keep any sort of piece in the house. What would have happened if I didn’t do it, where would we be right now if I came to my senses earlier? I’ll never know. Suddenly I felt his fingers in my hair and I refused to move, fearing that it was just my own fantasy until I heard him speak.

“Sae…if you never did what you had, I am certain we would not have our son, as horrible as this situation is, I would never go back and change that part. I cannot forgive you, not yet; but I want you to come home.” I looked up at him sharply, there was no way I heard it right!

“What…?” his eyes softened and there was the faintest of smiles on his face.

“I…we, want you home, I will bunk with Rin, you can have your room back; but yeah…what do you say?” He caressed my face and I saw his light shine, he loved me though I didn’t see a reason why. We weren’t over, but we were nowhere out of the woods.

“If that is alright with you.”

“Right, because I love asking people to do things I don’t want them to do.” He wiped a tear from my face and I felt a large amount of the weight lift from my shoulders.

“Such a smartass.”


	14. And They Were Housemates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Although choosing to cohabitate with each other, the tensions run high as their feelings for each other are still strong even after six weeks of being separated. Can one forgive and forget, or are they in for a rude awakening?

Chapter 14

S

“So are you guys doing better?”

“It’s hard to say. He hasn’t forgiven me, we no longer sleep in the same room and affection is out of the question, but we get along fine. I would say we’ve gone back to being friends.” Except when we were friends there wasn’t this much awkwardness, at least not the obvious kind. He still loves me, he said it, but us getting back to the way we were will take time, I was lucky I had gotten this chance.

“Okay you’ve been back for a month, so I gotta ask, why did ya do it? And for thirty thousand?! I’d do it for ten and that’s my buddy!”

“I would do it for free, but this isn’t about me.”

“Which is why you gave no input right Asmo?”

“Look I just…got really angry; one thing led to another and next thing I know I did that. I even made her record it and send it to me for proof.”

“Yeah…for your sake, don’t tell him that part, ever.”

“I’ll pretend you never said it.”

“I mean come on Satan, everybody but you knows for a fact that Kio is head over heels for ya. The guy would jump in front of a train before he’d mess around on ya.”

“I know that, it’s just…thinking about him being with someone else like that just drives me crazy! I don’t know what it is, I feel like I’m going insane, I’m just glad things are stable between us now.” I don’t even see him throughout the day unless it’s at meals or to take care of Kenzo. I have been teaching him to read and he’s doing well with it. I would watch as they take turns reading a story at bedtime only to go to bed alone when it was over. As much as I was happy for the reprieve the nights were still cold and lonely.

“Even so Tantan if you ever find yourself lonely and in need of…comfort, I’m only a few doors down.”

“I’m good, thanks.”

“Ya know, instead of just existin’ together, you could try to make him fall for ya again.”

“I don’t want to cross any boundaries right now Mammon, that would be a horrible idea.”

“If ya don’t do somethin’ ya just gonna be housemates for the rest of ya lives. Rin already did all the heavy liftin’; take over!”

“Yeah he went all the way to Diavolo’s just to get Kio there, I hate to see how devious he will be when he’s older.” They were right, I had to try something. If he turned me down flat then at least I tried, I can’t wait in limbo forever.

“I will think of something.”

“Hey Sae?” I nearly jumped as he appeared in the doorway with Kenzo by his side.

“Yeah, what’s up Kio?”

“I have to go to my session, you got Rin?”

“Of course, we will have a great time won’t we?”

“Yup!” He bounded over to sit with Belphie and Mammon which left us with this awkward moment with each other. I hadn’t seen him all day, and I won’t see him until it was time to put him down to bed.

“Great, well thanks.” He turned to leave and I instinctively grabbed his hand making him turn. Our eyes locked for a moment and I was dumbstruck, I had nothing to say, I had just wanted to hold him.

“Umm, just…be safe and have a good time I guess.” He watched me for a second and I let go of his hand.

“Thank you.” He walked away and I turned back to see four sets of eyes staring at me. I guess I missed my chance to try something. I raced behind him, catching up to him as he got to the door.

“Kio, wait!” I bent over nervous and out of breath, hesitating before meeting his eyes as I stood.

“Listen, I was wondering if maybe we could go out together this evening?”

“Oh…I don’t think that’s a good idea Sae.” Ouch, turned down flat.

“No, I meant the three of us, as a family…I thought Rin would like that.” He softened and turned back around with a smile.

“That would be very nice, what do you have in mind?” I hadn’t thought this far, and I said the first thing to come to mind.

“I was thinking we could see a movie together, take a walk in the park maybe?” He thought of this and nodded to my relief.

“Sure, we can go out as soon as I get back okay?”

“Yeah, sounds great.” He smiled and I let him leave, step one is in place, I had better not mess this up.

K

“Are you sure this is a good decision for you to make?”

“Do you think it’s not a good idea?”

“That isn’t what I asked you.”

“I don’t know…I’m afraid to put myself out there with him right now, I love him to death but I just keep thinking of what happened. Even despite all of that he’s been great, I don’t know what it is but it’s like when we’re around each other I feel at peace. We take care of Rin together no problem and he’s a good father, and I can tell he is doing what he can to show me that he cares. I just don’t think I’m ready.” If there was one thing Barb had taught me that I was beginning to take to heart it was that I had to focus on my progress rather than indulging others around me and sabotaging myself. I wanted to go out with Sae, I wanted to go back to the way things were but I ran the risk of more issues, and I needed to focus on coping with what I had been through without that distraction.

“Does that mean he is no longer a trigger for you?”

“I don’t know, I don’t believe he was a trigger in the first place. Ari…hurt me with what she had done to me, and Sae hurt me with his part in it, but I’m realizing that it doesn’t define me. I am not a victim if I choose not to be.”

“That is a beautiful mindset Kiomè.”

“And I have said some horrible things to and about Ari, but I realize now that a big part of her decision was because her family isn’t as well off as ours is and her sisters depend on her. She made a shitty choice but she did it for her family and I’m choosing to let it go. I don’t intend to be friends with her, but I don’t need to be hostile. I don’t want to be ruled by it anymore.”

“That is very good.”

“But with Sae, I am cautious…”

“Is it safe to say that it is because he initiated it in the first place? He held a much closer, intimate relationship with you, I would be concerned if you weren’t cautious.”

“Yeah, I never expected him to do that to me and my mind wants to keep him at a distance but my heart wants him back. Is it wrong that I factor in the fact that he’s hurting too?”

“Of course not, but it is evident that the two of you have a bond or else you wouldn’t be able to cohabitate like you are currently. Unless you are relying on his presence as a security blanket…?”

“I think both are right really; I’ll never forget what he had done for me in the past; when he almost died…I know he loves me. I feel at peace when he’s near but I just want to keep him at a distance for now.” He nodded and continued to write, it seemed like I had done a lot of growing in order to deal with this. In reality I wanted nothing more than to let him back in my life, I wanted to lash out at Ari for telling me what she did, but I know it won’t do any good.

“Hey Barb, can I ask you something?”

“You may.”

“I know you can see the future and past, you said there are different routes in the timeline that are built of our choices. If they didn’t go through with this plan…what would have happened?” He sighed and clicked his pen as he sat back.

“Is that something that you are truly prepared to hear?”

“I feel like it may give me closure, I think that no matter what I cannot change the past, I simply want to know what could have been.” He was thinking about it, deciding if I really needed to hear it.

“Well…if Satan hadn’t chosen to make the deal he had, he would have threatened harm on her, she would have argued and he would have struck her badly. This would have put her into a state of fear and depression and she would have withdrawn from school. You would have asked about her injuries and she would refuse to speak to you, and once she had left altogether you would become more concerned. You and Satan would have arguments about what happened to her, the more concerned you became, the angrier and more jealous it would make him. Eventually you would get the information from the girls of her address and when you went to her house…you will have found out from her mother that she had ended her life.” I knew it would be different…but damn…

“Would he have known what he had done to her?”

“No, other than the initial confrontation, he would only know that you are worried about her. As far as he knew, she was staying away from you as he demanded. But you would have confronted him about her death and it would have gotten volatile after that. If you had stayed that night…you would have started drinking and arguing with him as the night went on. Kiomè…you would have slept with Ari that night, drunk and angry at the accusations, you would have done so in retaliation. That would have ended your relationship and in your guilt you would have slipped into a deep depression that would have ended in an accident. There are other routes that could have happened, depending on the minor choices, but those are the major ones for that particular night that made the most difference.”

“So…I’m no innocent party in this either…no matter what would have happened it would have been bad.”

“It wouldn’t have been good no, but there are more routes with minor changes. None of it would have happened if you had put distance between yourself and the girls as he had asked. But as I said, the past is past. Right now, this outcome isn’t the best that could have happened, but it is the only one where all three of you end up alive.”

“What?!”

“If you had went over to them immediately, you would’ve broken things off without hearing him out, you would have lashed out and your anger on top of his guilt would have been too much. He would’ve gotten into heavy drinking, which would have caused him to pass out in a nefarious place where he would have been attacked and robbed, too inebriated and no one around he would have died of his injuries.”

“And that was why you talked me down the way you did, you made me see it from a different perspective before I had a chance to talk to him.” Even if I didn’t want to believe it, just thinking about it, brought me down enough to not get out of control. And even so, I have my son and we are all alive, I had that to be grateful for that.

But you said this wasn’t the best, how could it have not been the best if we are all alive?”

“If Satan had told you first then there would have been arguing of course, but as I said, if I hadn’t calmed you beforehand you would have been more irate, out of control. There would have been a serious fight but after the fact you two would have grown back together, since he was honest after all. However due to other complications there will be a grave accident down the road that neither of you will be prepared for and it will break you both apart.” What could he mean by that?

“This is a bit overwhelming.”

“But none of the actions taken are excused, I hope you know that.”

“Of course…if I didn’t rely on their favor to measure my worth as you said I wouldn’t have suffered at all.”

“Now Kiomè…”

“The past is done, I get it, thank you for telling me.” He studied me a minute before nodding. In the end this was my fault after all, I loved their attention and it put us through hell. It excuses no one, we have all done wrong here, the only innocent party is Rin.

“So I need to focus on forgiving myself as well.”

“Good, I think for the most part you are coming along well.” All of this was a lot to take in, but it opened my eyes. One wrong decision can cause an entire shit storm, but it doesn’t have to end in tragedy.

“I think this outing may be a good idea, if all else I hope to move forward and get up from here.”

“Well let me know how that goes at our next session.”

“Alright, will do.” I got up to leave a little unsure but very ready to get out from under this situation, no matter the direction it would go from here.

S

“Alright Kenzo, Daddy will be home soon you need to put on your jacket.”

“Okay, are you and daddy going to make up?”

“We have made up.”

“No…you and Daddy used to love each other, Oji Belphie says that now Daddy is afraid and you tiptoe around him and I think he’s right.” This boy was way too young to be this insightful.

“I hope that tonight goes in a good direction, I made a mistake and I want to show Daddy that I can be good again.”

“I’m ready to be your wing man!”

“What do you know about that?!”

“Oji Belphie says that you need me to be your wing man, he said it was like a helper.” I laughed as I helped him tie his shoes; it seems my brothers want this as badly as I do.

“I would be delighted to have you as my helper.” He smiled and I heard footsteps coming to the doorway.

“Daddy, we are going to see a movie!” He leapt into Kio’s arms and I watch the two of them for a moment, I saw nothing but adoration in his eyes.

“Yeah we are, are you ready to go?”

“Mm-hmm, I’m all set and I’ve been to the bathroom too! Father took great care of me and I read the little siren on my own today!”

“Wow, good job little man!” He wasn’t even looking at me, I was getting discouraged and we hadn’t even left yet.

“I was thinking since he loves the book so much we would see the movie.”

“Yeah, that would be nice.” Still not even a glance, did I push him too hard by asking him to come with me?

“Kio…?” He looked up from Kenzo and met my eyes, damn, I had the urge to touch his face but I clenched my fist instead.

“Is this what you want to do?”

“Yes, I do.” He looked so hesitant and he put on that signature smile I thought he was through using, the one that was meant to deflect what he was really feeling.

“Okay, let’s go!” Kenzo filled what would have been an awkward silence and trotted out the door. I took a breath and motioned for him to go first; he responded with a nod and left out behind him. I hope this doesn’t make things worse.

K

“I want the comfort candy and the popcorn and the soda!”

“You don’t want to spoil your dinner Kenzo, you can have a small popcorn and a soda but save the candy for after.” Sae was good a giving Rin boundaries, he had always been good as a disciplinarian and I appreciated that tonight because I was really on edge right now. I wasn’t focused on anything but my fear, I hadn’t felt it before I walked into that room when I came home. But seeing him there, as he spoke with our son made me feel so many things. I wanted us to be a family, I wanted to forgive him and be back the way we were and I wanted to love him again but that scared me. Even now he’s wearing a pair of black rimmed glasses with a green turtleneck and dark blazer that made me just want to touch him. He looked stunning and I wasn’t sure if it was my feelings for him or if he was doing this on purpose. If I jump back in too soon then I risk being hurt again and I wasn’t sure I would make it back a second time.

“Kio, would you like a drink or snack?”

“I…what?”

“Would you like something to eat?” Why are you looking at me like that, why are you so gorgeous?

“I’m not hungry.”

“Daddy didn’t eat today.” What a Benedict Arnold…

“Kio…unfortunately not a lot of items here are nutritious, would you at least share my popcorn?” I hated it in the past when he would chide me about my eating, he rode me constantly. He never realized that my secret love for him raised my anxiety and killed my appetite and his nagging only made it worse because it showed me how much he cared for me.

“Sure, I can do that.” Even now he showed me he cared and that made my nerves wring tight.

“Come on, let’s go get our seats.” He smiled and I felt butterflies, this might have been a mistake.

S

As if things couldn’t be more awkward my would-be wingman switched seats so that Kio sat in the middle of us. I thought it would be better so he could easily reach my popcorn to eat something but he seemed so rigid and restless that he didn’t touch it. He looked sick and I knew he got this way when he was anxious but I didn’t want this night to be so bad for him. I wanted to comfort him, I wanted to reassure him but I felt that doing anything would only make it worse.

“Oh, this is the part where the siren decides to jump in the ocean to be foam!” We watched as the sun began to go down and the siren stood at the edge of the boat to see it for the final time before she turned to sea foam and died. The light faded and in that second the hands of the prince clasped hers and pulled her to his chest. She was so surprised, one moment ready to die and the next with the man she had loved too much to kill. He confessed his love to her, realizing when she wasn’t around how much he needed her and had searched fiercely. He looked into her eyes and told her that he was certain that she was his soul mate and they shared their first kiss.”

“Wow, in the book she dies and he looks for her sad that she had left him.”

“Sometimes they change things in movies to keep the surprise…” It was a surprise alright, an ending I wasn’t ready for. I looked over to Kio to see him quietly sobbing, this was a mistake, what I thought was a movie about a tragedy turned into a sappy romance that only reminded him of what we lost. I put my hand on his shoulder and then reached over to pet his hair and he leaned into my touch before recoiling and getting up to leave.

“I have to go to the bathroom.” He left us there and didn’t return for the rest of the movie, I grew worried until we had gotten to the exit to see him waiting there, his soul was so dark. That scene really got to him and I had to admit it did me as well, I wish I knew what to do to help this night get any better.

“Come on Daddy, let’s walk all this popcorn off in the park!” The only thing wrong with that is that one of us didn’t eat anything, but he smiled anyway and we were soon off walking the trail in the large park, listening to the many insects and creatures in the night. Kio was looking more and more exhausted as time went and I began to worry about him.

K

That scene, that moment they saw how much they loved each other, reminded me of the moment I had first told Sae that I loved him. It was too much to take and hearing him call her his soul mate…it nearly killed me. Now we were supposed to have a good walk in the park and I felt so low and exhausted, not to mention I hadn’t eaten in several days and all this activity was wearing me down.

“Kio you don’t look well, I think you should sit down.” He was right, but I didn’t want to ruin their night, I already almost ruined the movie for them. He looked so worried about me, and it only made me feel worse.

“No, I’m…” Before I could even finish the sentence I felt like i was going down. His arm was quickly around me, holding me up and soon I was sitting on a bench feeling like garbage.

“Daddy are you okay?!”

“He’s okay, he just needs some energy. Dammit…I don’t want to leave you here alone but you aren’t strong enough to sit with him while I grab you something…we just need to get his blood sugar up!” He was fretting over me and that made me feel horrible, my vision was getting blurry and my ears rang as I fought to stay conscious. My son held my hand and I felt him jerk as he gasped.

“Father, give Daddy my comfort candy!” Rin sat on the bench beside me still holding my hand, I wish I had the strength to comfort him right now.

“Good job buddy, here Kio, baby I need you to suck on this. You need to raise your sugar.” His gentle hand held my face and I opened my mouth to allow him to insert the sucker. He felt my head and sat beside me so I could rest against his chest. Damn…he was so warm, he smelled so good…why did I do this to myself?!

“It’s okay baby, just suck that down so you’ll be good enough to get you home. You’ll be okay, I shouldn’t have brought you out here!” He was berating himself and it as all my fault, I also noticed he started the pet names again, I was comforted and at the same time I was terrified. Soon I felt better and I was able to stand up and walk if I leaned on Sae. By the time we had gotten back to the house I was able to walk on my own but I was so exhausted, I couldn’t even hold my son as he fell asleep and I had to watch as Sae tucked him in and kiss him goodnight. He turned to me looking like a dream as he walked over to me and my heart pounded.

S

I had never seen him so bad off that he would collapse like that. Even now he looked flush and sick, I walked over to him to feel his head and he tried to turn away from me.

“Thank you for earlier, I should be off to bed now.” No, if I let him go now I won’t see him for another half day and he would probably continue to refuse to eat.

“You are coming to my room right now and you are going to get something to eat.”

“I’m just tired, I want to go to bed.”

“I’m not hearing it Kio, not tonight.”

“I don’t want anything to do with you!!” That hurt, it hurt a lot and at that point I realized that I failed at trying to rekindle or repair anything.

“That doesn’t matter, what if that had happened when you were out alone with Kenzo hmm? What would you have done then? We have a child to look after now so you no longer have the luxury of being self-destructive! The only way I will know you have any food in your system is if I watch you as I shove it down your throat! You can hate me all you want after that but you are not fighting me on this! You are going to my room NOW!” He looked at me startled and relented with a sigh, I took his hand and led him to my room where I sat him in my chair and left to the kitchen to warm up some soup that was served at dinner. I returned to him looking so worn down and sad but I knelt in front of him to feed him and he took it timidly.

“I didn’t mean to yell at you, I just felt you wouldn’t listen to reason otherwise. You always do as your heart tells you instead of your head and I’ve always adored you for your compassion, but when you become so naïve and illogical I worry so much!” He ate slowly and I saw that he was so dark and I hated it, it was like he was dead inside.

“No, I needed to hear it, you’re right, if I had been thinking of Rin I would never have let myself get like this. You were always the more level headed one.”

“Right…about as level as the tower of Pisa, you were the calm one; I needed you to keep it together.”

“Remember when Lucifer was going into a tirade about his records and he blamed you and you almost went off the deep end?”

“Yeah, I almost smashed his whole room apart because he wanted to blame me for one broken disk. You held me back and talked me out of it even though I was just, super pissed. You were always the one to throw yourself at me when I was about to go off like that.”

“I never thought things through like that, I would just see you upset and react.”

“But you were always just what I needed to calm down…not your words or your tactics…just your touch.” I lifted my hand and stroked his face and he reddened as he looked away. That blushing vulnerable face…it never failed to melt my heart and make it race. I sat his food aside and turned him back to face me, how could I have ruined something like this, how could I have hurt someone so adorable and kind hearted? I stroked his cheek again and he sparkled under my touch which sent me ablaze.

“What is it you want Sae; why are you doing this?” He looked so sad, but he held his hand over mine, keeping it on his face as though he were relishing in my touch. I took my other hand and ran it through his hair, leaning closer to him as my heart slammed harder. Which movement will push him too far, does he want me to stop?

“I want…us. I want what we had, or something close to it. I can go the rest of my life being ashamed and knowing that I ruined something good, and maybe I should, but I cannot live with you looking like this, killing yourself and wallowing in darkness. I cannot take this…I want to make you happy, I want to make you smile. I want to look back on my life and lose count of the times I made you laugh. I want to wake up beside you until our bodies turn to dust and we can dance in the wind together. I want to hold you, I want my partner, my best friend…and my soul mate back.” He looked down and held himself as he shuddered and began to sob.

“I’m scared, I’m scared Sae…I don’t want to be hurt again…” I remember the last time he had turned me away nearly two years ago, I was afraid of him hurting me again so I opted to break off our friendship, thinking that would keep us both safe, but really we were torturing ourselves. In this case he was not only valid, but he had every right to break things off with me, I should listen to his fears. But I hated seeing his soul so dim after knowing what it was like when it shined.

“I know…and I’m so sorry I hurt you, if I was half the demon I thought I was I would have let the matter go, trusted you as you asked. And instead I let my fear of losing you become the very reason I did so. I don’t deserve your kind gentle heart, but Kio, if you give me this final chance, I will use it and the rest of my life to see to it that you never hurt again. I will use every ounce of my energy to prove to you that I adore you, now and forever more. I love you, and I will never stop, no matter what happens.” I had leaned in so close to him and I could feel him struggle in himself as I cradled his face in my hands. I wiped the tears from his eyes and he kissed me so lightly I almost didn’t feel it, but then he pressed his lips to mine and I felt my head swim in ecstasy. It had been over six weeks since our last kiss and our last embrace and feeling it again was like a magic I had never known. I lifted him and laid him gently in my bed, tasting his mouth as I hugged his body close to mine. I could feel him melt into me, giving me permission to go farther if I wished and I let my hands explore his stomach before running them up his back and pulling him close to hold him. We panted for a few moments, this moment, holding him in my arms felt greater than anything, I wanted this since that dreaded day went down. He is willing to try again, he’s willing to forgive me and I vowed in that moment to never let him regret it.

“Babe…are you okay?”

“I just want to hold you, you have no idea how much I wanted this.” I felt him shudder and nuzzle my neck as he sighed with such relief, like the weight of the world had left his shoulders.

“Sae, I’m sorry, but I’m really hungry.” In just several minutes his spirits lifted enough to give him an appetite, that made me even happier. I let him go and he sat up to continue eating as I held my arms around him.

“Will you sleep in here with me tonight?” He paused for a minute before putting the spoon back in his mouth.

“I’ll stay with you tonight…but I don’t plan on sleeping.” It took me a long moment to understand what he was getting at and i felt my face burn hot, thankfully he was facing away from me.

“What will I ever do with you?”

“Heh… I have some ideas, but I think we will just see where it goes, I have six weeks’ worth of kisses I need to catch up on first.” I kissed his shoulder, neck and cheek, making him laugh a little.

“That’s only a few hours’ worth.”

“Don’t worry, I plan to give them all to you, I just hope you won’t be upset to see the morning come.”


	15. A Happy Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bonds begin to mend again and it seems overnight the family is back together again. Peace is finally restored.

Chapter 15

S

“Father…Father?” I slowly opened my eyes to see Rin peering down at me with a curious expression. I was exhausted and yet so happy because I could feel the warmth of my partner beside me. It wasn’t a dream, he chose to forgive me and we spent the night together. Even now under the pillow our fingers were laced together and I couldn’t be more ecstatic. I glanced at the clock to see that it was almost ten o’clock and I sat straight up.

“I had no idea it was that late, are you alright, did you eat breakfast?”

“Mm-hmm, Oji Lu said I should give you guys some time alone. I have been watching anime with Oji Levi, and then Oji Beel gave me a snack. You and daddy didn’t eat so I wanted to see if you wanted a snack too.” He had a plate of graham crackers, fruit and cheese on a plate with some juice boxes. I looked over to Kio behind me who glanced at me sleepily with love in his eyes. I was so grateful that I had on pants, I would never know when one of my brothers would barge in to spy.

“Sure, thank you, let us get dressed and we will have a snack together alright?” I climbed out of bed to grab a change of clothes, trying to rub the sleep out of my eyes.

“I’m sorry you and Daddy had a fight.” He sounded sad suddenly and I thought to the moment last night when yelled at Kio.

“I’m sorry if we woke you Kenzo, but everything’s okay, we didn’t fight.”

“Then why did Daddy give you all those scratches on your back?” I froze and then looked at my back in the mirror before putting on my shirt, it was scratched to hell and felt like it was on fire. Kio suddenly had his head covered like he were sleeping but I knew for a fact he was laughing his ass off.

“You son of a…”

“Do you need a Band-Aid? Or a few?”

“I will be fine, could you give us a moment to change please?” he nodded and left the plate on the nightstand before leaving.

“Daddy be nice to Father, and don’t scratch him anymore it’s not nice!” He called behind his shoulder and I was glad he didn’t see how red my face was. I shut the door and I could visibly see Kio shaking with laughter under the blanket.

“Jackass, you knew you did that and you left me alone to answer him too!”

“I figured you would come up with a logical explanation for it.” It was so good to hear him laugh, but that was a dirty move. I ripped the blanket off of him to see I wasn’t the only one; it seems I had left my marks all over him, but those will fade sooner than my back!

“It really hurts!”

“Aww, let me see, damn I did a number on you…”

“Was it that good baby?” I could tell from his sigh he was red as can be now. I felt his hand run up my side and around to my chest and I felt my hair stand on end.

“If our son wasn’t waiting…”

“Well he is, so could you please?” I felt his tongue on one of my cuts and it sent a sensation of pleasure straight to my brain. The first time we discovered this as one of his ‘abilities’ I had him lick his bites for twenty minutes. It was like a high no drug could give, the only thing that was better was seeing his soul at its brightest.

“I don’t want to heal these…I want to make more.” He can be so insatiable, I turned and pushed him onto his back. There, for a second I saw fear flash in his eyes and I kissed him, reassuring him that I was not about to betray him, not now or ever again if I could help it. His hands grazed my back and I felt the pain subside and I backed up, pulling him up and tossing him a shirt to wear.

“Kio, thank you for giving me another chance, I won’t let you regret it.” He paused and took a deep breath as he pulled his shirt down, I felt so such pain in that sigh.

“I really hope so…because I can’t take something like that from you again. But I do forgive you.” The crack in his voice hurt me; I pulled him to me and held him close willing him to feel my love for him. He stepped back and pulled open the door for Kenzo to come back in and held a wide smile.

“Yay, let’s have snack!” He bounced in and sat in the middle of the floor and we all sat together to munch on the small spread he brought us.

“I’m glad to hear you had a good morning, what would you like to do this afternoon?”

“I think I want to go on a walk in the park with you Daddy, just you.” I felt a little hurt at that, I had been trying to do better when it came to my relationship with him and to hear he didn’t want me around made me feel I was going backwards.

“Father I want to go shopping with you later.”

“Shopping, why?”

“Oji Lu says you need to get me new shoes, the ones I have are too small.” It was just like Lucifer to butt into things he had no knowledge of!

“What does he mean too small we just bought these shoes less than two months ago and they we over a size and a half too-” I felt his toes and where there was once over an inch and a half of space there was nothing I noticed his pants were higher as well, he had grown that much in just six weeks?

“Okay…I’ll take you out for some new clothes, after this okay?” He beamed at that and that made me feel better.

“I have questions for you guys.” We looked at each other and back at him, we were beginning to feel like there was a reason for this little snacking session.

“Sure little man, what’s up?”

“Well I have been hearing the stories you read to me and the anime I watch with Oji Levi and the books I have been trying to read myself and something isn’t right.”

“What is it?”

“You two are my parents right?”

“Yes, we are your parents, why would you question that?”

“It’s just when I read some of the stories the… protiginist…?”

“Protagonist?”

“Yeah that; they have a mom and a dad…but… what’s a mom?” I looked to Kio again and I could see the tension in his body. I hadn’t expected him to ask these questions this soon, I wasn’t sure how he could take the truth.

“A mother is a parent just like a dad, only she’s a girl.”

“A girl?”

“A female, like Oba Tèa.” He looked puzzled and looked back to my partner.

“Do I have a mom?” He put the food down with a look of worry, I had just gotten him close to normal again.

“No little man, you don’t have a mom…” He nodded curiously at this, he just wanted information.

“So…I just have two dads?”

“Yes Kenzo, that’s correct.”

“Oh, okay! I read about moms and you are a lot like one Daddy. Because you are so nice and kind and you make me believe in myself like I read moms do. When you sing to me I feel really nice and I like that but you’re also strong and brave. So you’re like a mom but not, that’s why I asked.” I know that was a sore spot for Kio, he hated to hear that he had some sort of feminine role, but listening to Kenzo’s reasoning seemed to make him smile…a little.

“Father you aren’t very good at talking about feelings or dreams or anything, but you are really smart and I can go to you about reading and stuff and I know I’m safe when I’m with you.” I suppose that was fair, above all else I wanted him to know I would protect him.

“Well that’s really good, I’m glad you’re pleased with us. That was a very intriguing review.” If he was reading about relationships like that, then it would be a matter of time before we would have to tell him how he really got here and I wondered how he would take that information.

“Do other kids have two dads?”

“Yes in fact that happens all the time.”

“Ohh, okay then, I just wanted to ask.” He continued to eat happily but I had a feeling the questions were only just beginning.

K

“So, tell us how your night went!” As soon as I went downstairs I was bombarded by Asmo, Tèa, Levi, Belphie and Mammon and pulled into the living room. I should have known they would try to pry in my personal life.

“There is nothing to tell, we went to a movie, we took a walk and then came home and went to bed.”

“Oh really, so nothing sparked between you and a certain brother last night?”

“Look you’ve been sleeping with Rin for a month and last night he was alone in his bed now spill!”

“Guys don’t crowd him, if he doesn’t want to talk about it he shouldn’t have to.” Finally, at least my sister had some sense.

“Look Kio, you’re my friend and my band mate, we are here for you guys, if you two aren’t getting along then the whole group suffers and I care about us.”

“Yeah, Asmo’s just here cuz he wants the dirty details.”

“I want to know if you got your normie stuff handled.” They stared at me and I felt nervous, I suppose this was something I didn’t have the luxury of keeping to myself.

“Well, right now we are seeing how things go. For the time being we are back together.” They cheered and I never felt so embarrassed; were they really anticipating our lives like some sort of romance or something?

“I’m so happy for you guys!”

“Good, we can get back to normal.”

“I can get back to makin’ grimm again!”

“Surely you can give more details than that Kiki, where’s the passion, the…sensuality?” I ignored that completely.

“Hey, you okay man? For someone back in a relationship you don’t look…well.” No, honestly I was terrified; last night was amazing, I hadn’t felt like that in a long while but at the same time he was the same demon who betrayed me in the worst possible way. Avatar of Wrath or not, it didn’t give him the excuse to act in a blind rage and humiliate me. Would I upset him again and he do something worse or did he truly learn from his mistake? The way he doted on me last night told me that he was truly remorseful and that he wanted to cater to my every need but how long would that last? I have been in a cycle of abuse before, I cannot take another.

“I’m okay, I’m just a little tired.”

“I’m sure you are.”

“I just want to go and lay down alright?” I pushed my way past them and down the hall. I had went downstairs for something to eat, but after that my appetite was gone, what if I made a mistake? What if Satan’s possessive streak wasn’t at an end? What would be a step farther than what he’s already done and would he do it?!

“Yo, Kio!” Belphie ran up behind me touching my shoulder, I can’t take another round of questions.

“Look we are good okay, so just leave it at that, I don’t want to talk about it.”

“I know, listen…I have been on his ass about coming forward and telling you the truth, I feel like it’s my fault things blew up the way they did because I didn’t try hard enough. I’m sorry.”

“ _You knew?!_ ”

“I overheard it but by that time I couldn’t stop what went down, or at least I thought, I feel like I failed as your friend to do anything about it. But I knew if you heard it elsewhere and he not tell you the truth then things would have been so much worse! He was terrified to tell you, and I’m not making excuses for my brother, but he’s never done this before.”

“Extort and lie?”

“No, been in love. He’s never been with anyone like this before and in honesty I’ve never seen a time when he didn’t quite know what he was doing. Normally he reads nonstop until he finds the answer.”

“There is no clear answer on love…I’ve never been in a serious relationship like this either but I still know how to treat him! I would never hurt him like that, and now I wonder if…” Don’t, you just patched things up with him.

“He won’t do that again, and if he didn’t learn his lesson I’ll kick his ass for you, but don’t be afraid, this isn’t the Kio I know. Where’s the jackass that will run headlong into confrontations with him for the sake of showing him how you care? That will crack a joke at the worst moment to smooth the tension when we all fight? That punches me every time I talk about how hot his mom is? By the way I called her the other day and she says she misses me, I’m thinking of paying her a visit next weekend.” I didn’t feel a bit sorry as I punched him in his shoulder.

“Asshole!”

“There he is! Look chill, he knows he’s on thin ice, and he will do better. If not we can always curse him.” I never saw a time when those two would go head to head like that but it seemed Belphie had been willing to do that for a while now. He really was my friend, now his fight over Rin made sense, this was all for our benefit.

“Thanks man, you’re a real jackass, but you’re a great friend.”

“It’s my specialty.” I felt a little better, but the fear was still there, at least if he messed up again I had others that will fight for me.

S

“Now what sort of style would you like Kenzo, this shoe is comfortable but this one is nice and very functional for all types of terrain.” We sat amongst ten different shoes and I had yet to find the right ones for his preferences, he keeps putting them on and taking them right back off.

“I don’t even like shoes, they didn’t make me wear them in the hospital.”

“That’s because you never went outside, you have to wear them there, you will injure your feet.”

“Ugh…but it’s so claustrophobic!!” He fell back in a pout and I only shook my head, this boys vocabulary grew every day and it wouldn’t be long before he was even on our level.

“Speaking of which Kenzo, you are to visit for a check up on Monday.”

“I’ll pretend I didn’t hear you.”

“And I’ll pretend you agreed to go.” He threw a shoe at me making me laugh, he was so much like Kio that it frightened me, was he guarding himself as well and if so from what? What was he hiding behind that sarcasm?

“Come on, you need to pick a decent shoe so we can move onto the clothes, you like that right? And you will need a winter coat.” He picked up a pair of blue sneakers and tossed them to me, they were a size three, hopefully they would last a little longer than the last ones. We found a bunch of new clothes and put them into the cart and then we looked at the coats. Immediately he gravitated to a black parka that had blue white and violet colors like a constellation towards the bottom of it, I knew by now that he was partial to cool colors and looking at these stars made me feel a little hopeful.

“Father can I have this one?”

“Try it on, see if it fits.” He quickly put his arms in the sleeve and zipped it up, there was still space to grow in.

“Looks like you have a winter coat.”

“Yay!” We put it in the cart and walked toward the checkout, I kept thinking this entire trip about how he could have grown out of his current clothes so quickly, I could even see that he was a good inch or so taller than before. Would it even be worth it to buy these?

“Father, you should buy something nice for Daddy.”

“Oh? Is that the real reason you brought me out here?”

“Well I saw on the television that when someone wants to say they’re sorry they buy flowers and candy and stuff.”

“Too much television is bad for you Kenzo.”

“The prince gave the siren presents.” He had me there.

“And you think I should do that too? What would I even get for him, his tastes are different than what I would do.”

“Oji Levi says it has to be something that comes from the heart, have some type of magical property to defy all odds and permeate the receiver with the knowledge-no, the _certainty_ that their love will defeat the evils of doubt and prevail over all.”

“And which anime did he quote that from?”

“Doki-Doki, school life of a nerd who wants to find the girl of his dreams but has to discover friendship along the way but gets-“

“Sorry I asked, you seem to be becoming an otaku like your uncle, I don’t know if I like that.”

“You like your adventures just like Oji Levi, it’s not different.” He did have a point, I should do something nice for him, but what?

“I have an idea…” I picked up an alchemy ring and looked at it carefully and I was struck with a crazy and yet reassuring idea.

“Kenzo, how would you like to go to Hocus Pocus with me?”

“Sure, what are you going to do with those rings.”

“I’m going to do something very special for Daddy.”

K

“We’re home!” I heard Rin as he ran inside the room to show me his new clothes, they were nice, and maybe he wouldn’t grow out of them so fast, suddenly he grabbed the bag and stuffed the clothes back into it to leave.

“Wait where are you going?”

“To show Oji Asmo, he will love my new coat.” His smile had mischief in it, just then Sae had appeared with a look of uncertainty and I got the message.

“How was it?”

“It was fine thankfully it didn’t break bank, he’s growing really fast.”

“He is and it worries me, he goes to the doctor Monday…shit!! I’m supposed to see Barb that day!”

“I thought you were back to only once a week.”

“Well shit hasn’t been very great alright!!” Why did I snap at him? I feel like I’m losing it! He pulled me by my hand and hugged me close, kissing my cheek tenderly.

“It’s okay, I’ve got him, you don’t have to worry about that.”

“Don’t you have student council?”

“If Kenzo has a doctor’s appointment I’m sure Lucifer will understand, if he doesn’t, he can fuck himself.” I snorted at that, that will never seem to change in him. I let myself relax in his arms, this felt so good, I wanted this so bad; why am I so afraid?

“Listen I have a surprise for you.” He backed away and reached into his pocket to pull out a small box that contained two different rings with symbols on them.

“These actually look pretty sick, I’m impressed.”

“These were originally alchemy rings, I took them to Hocus Pocus so that I could get them enchanted. I know since we are both demons we cannot technically form a pact but with these rings it’s the next best thing.” He took the one with the black stone pentagram and placed it on his ring finger making it turn green and he picked the other one from the box that had symbols I didn’t understand and I took a step back.

“What exactly does this do?”

“Remember when you bound us by blood so that I couldn’t be harmed by your abilities? Well once you gained control it became sort of moot, these rings will not only do the same but they will allow you to have a bit of my strength when you need it, they will let you know when I am near and they will feed off of our emotions toward each other.”

“What do you mean, ‘feed off of?’ this is sounding weird.”

“I know, forgive me, do you see how this stone is green? It’s neutral, when you are feeling unsure or happy or even angry towards me then the color of my stone will change. And yours will as well, only mine is a bit more special.” He stepped closer and touched my face tenderly and I felt butterflies as he reached down to grab my hand and knelt to one knee.

“You seriously aren’t proposing right now are you?!” If I had known his face would look so hurt I would have kicked myself before saying that. He quickly changed to a smile to hide the pain in his eyes.

“No, it isn’t quite like that, but it does require your permission. This ring…was enchanted with my blood and magic. You being the bearer of this ring controls mine, when you are happy with me the my ring will be amber, when you feel passionate it will be red, when you are calm it will be blue and when you are angry it will be gray. But if I ever hurt you the way I did before then this stone will turn black. It’s like what humans call mood rings, but they are for each other.” I looked to the black metal ring with the red stone, there was something about this; I felt like I shouldn’t take it.

“I know we already have a blood pact but this is to prove that I am committed a hundred and ten percent to you and what we have. I never want to hurt you again and this ring will verify it. I’m asking you, if you will allow me the chance to make you happy.” He looked so serious and I felt my throat swell with emotion.

“Yes, I’ll take it, I’m willing to give you a chance.” He smiled and slipped it on my finger.

“Tibi reddetur votum. Ut enim anima mea in conspectu meo, ut gaudium vestrum sit plenum.” I felt an electric current run through my body and Sae bowed in slight discomfort.

“That is my magic running through you right now, it isn’t much but it will help you with any spells or potions you would want to use now.”

“Wow, so I can finally ace that spells exam I’ve been cramming for.” I had to take the weight off of this moment, I’m sure it should have been much lighter but it felt…scary. My ring felt warm and I noticed the ring change to a bright violet.

“Well what does this mean?” He looked to my ring and blushed as he stood.

“I…uh…I want to kiss you.” He was suddenly so shy, it was so cute, I suppose he wasn’t used to having his feelings displayed before he could express them.

“I mean…as an empath I already know what you are feeling, the fact that now I can tell from afar is a twist I may get to like. But now you have a window to see into the hot mess express that is Kiomè Minamino, I hope you don’t run scared.” Something changed in his eyes and he looked to his ring to see the amber glow in the stone.

“What just happened?”

“I receive a sort of…reward so to speak when you become happy. It’s like a warm feeling.”

“That’s pretty neat, does mine do that?”

“No, that is the difference between them.”

“So it makes you feel good when I’m happy with you, then what happens when I’m angry with you or something?” He smiled happily and kissed my forehead.

“That isn’t for you to think on kitten, that’s for me to worry about.”

“Okay one; how could I not worry about something like that and two, did you just fucking call me _kitten_??”

“The way you scratched my back I couldn’t think of a better pet name.”

“You are not going to call me _kitten_ I draw the line there.”

“You call me Angrybird, why not?”

“Because that makes sense! A game I used to play that just fits you perfectly!”

“Oh…so we are doing pet names after games right?”

“….why…?”

“Because Sparklekitty would be a perfect pet name for you.” Oh no….no, no, no, no.

“I would rather be called kitten…” His hands gripped my waist in a way that made me lose my breath and I could feel urgency as he leaned into my ear.

“Don’t worry, I’ll only use that when you’re being naughty.” He licked my neck as he pressed his hips into me and I lost all sense of what I was talking about before.

“Sae…stop…before I make you finish.” He bit me as his hand went up my shirt making me gasp.

“Mm, my ring his red…” Was he changing the subject or was he excited about our new agreement? Either way he had me fired up.

“Rin isn’t coming back any time soon is he?”

“I told him if I didn’t leave in ten minutes to give us two hours.”

“Wow…sneaky boys, trying to butter me up?” His mouth met mine and I pulled him closer.

“Come here little kitten, I want to make you purr.” Fuck it, if he wanted to show me how happy he could make me then by all means I’ll let him do it.

~ ~

“Daddy, are you and Father happy again?” We walked down the same path as the night before only this time I was healthy enough to do so and I was in an awesome mood. Rin wore his new parka and he looked cute in it too. It seems everyone had a good day and that made me happy.

“Yes, I think we are finally happy again. I’m sorry you came home to so much dysfunction, as your Dad I just feel like I have not done my best to provide an adequate home for you.” He held my hand tight as we went, the night air sharp in our lungs but our moods warm and light. But I realized that the past few months have been hell, I don’t really know how I made it to this point but I’m grateful I did it in one piece.

“What do you mean, I love it at home, and the hospital was boring and lonely. I have lots of fun with my uncles and my auntie Tèa.”

“Now I know you’re patronizing me, no one has fun with Auntie Tèa.” We laughed at that and I felt so relaxed, this may not be the best circumstances for him to live in, but hopefully our son will be happy to call it home.

“You know something, I have a list of things that I say are the best to happen to me. One would be meeting your father, another would be learning to accept myself, but I can say that the best thing I have ever done was bring you into my life.” I could feel the adoration as he looked up at me with teary eyes.

“I’m the best thing to happen to you?”

“Of course little man, you’re my son, you’re a part of my heart, I live for you.” He wiped his face and I pulled him close to me, I didn’t mean to make him cry, I guess he’s more like me than I thought.

“Don’t cry buddy, I love you, plain and simple. My Mama would tell me the same thing when I was little and I never understood how she could love someone like me so fully and unconditionally. But she did, her love for me kept me alive in ways I don’t think she will ever understand and it wasn’t until I held you for the first time did I understand how she felt. That is how I feel for you.”

“You have a mother?”

“Yes, I have a mother and a father they are your grandparents.”

“What is your mother like?”

“She’s like I said, she’s very loving and kind, but she can be intense, She still feels like a teen and being half demon yeah she technically hasn’t aged since her early twenties and at times she can get wild, my younger sister and JiJi as well. I think it runs in the family to be honest. She can be wild and crazy but she is responsible at the same time, she just enjoys life to the fullest and wants us to do the same. She already loves you, I told her about you and she wants to meet you.”

“Really, you want me to meet her?! I want to meet your Mama!”

“She is your grandmother, your family, don’t say it like that.”

“Daddy…why don’t I have a mother?” I took a deep breath, he was just curious is all, it’s not an attack.

“It just happened that way little man, Sae and I became partners a little while ago and we made you.”

“Oh…okay…” He seemed disappointed at that and I wish I had something to say to make him feel better.

“Would you rather have a mother?”

“No, it isn’t that, I just…want to know why I’m so special.” I stopped and knelt in front of him, making sure he was looking me in the eyes.

“You are special because you are mine, you may be able to do things other kids can’t at your age, but that means nothing to me, you are my son and that makes you more special than anything.” He looked at me warmly and hugged me around my neck.

“Thank you Daddy.”

“You, your father and I are in this world together, we are a team. I’ll never let you drown okay?”

“Okay!” We kept walking and I felt my heart feel fuller, we weren’t perfect, but things were much better and I wouldn’t trade my son for the world. I had to go through hell but finally we can go up from here.

“Daddy your ring is changing…” I looked to the band on my hand and the stone changed from blue to amber, he was thinking of me and he was happy about it.

“You must be hungry for dinner, let’s head back.” I hope we can give Rin the home and family he deserved, I am so ready to really live the family life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lack of communication and insecurities breed jealousy, an ugly beast that destroys all it touches.  
> Relying on others to determine your worth will cause others to determine your worth.  
> The choices you make big or small will effect more than will ever realize.  
> When you focus on your own gratification and validation you stand to lose much more than you anticipated.   
> Wounds made swift in anger are very slow to heal.   
> A child's eyes reflect more than any looking glass. 
> 
> These are some of the lessons or 'morals' I implanted into this story. I have a tendency to lay on the angst and drama but as always there is a reason for it all. If yo made it to the end of part one, thank you so much for reading and I hope you stay to see just where this story goes.
> 
> Please stay tuned as I edit and upload part two "Blood is Thicker than Sin" Where you will get a deeper look into the life and mindset of Rin and see the obstacles and victories he is destined to face as well as his parents mistakes coming to haunt them.


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